Things I don't miss.........

Couple of things I definately don't miss having left the Army, wondered what others could add....

1] Saluting some 'twat' under the heading of ~ "you're saluting the rank and therefore the Queen" and not the arsehole wearing the rank, and knowing they knew it with that stupid smirk......

2] Tins of condensed milk included in the guards snap box for guard duty and meant to go in the tea ~ yuck!

3] Preference Postings for which you filled out the form every couple of years and never once, no not once, got either of your three choices!!!
I miss the real dumb cunts like the OP. They made me look clever.

Apart from that I miss having work clothes you can do every social occasion in, conceptions, births, marriages and deaths without having to changing your clothes.

Oh.... and the "fuck it, everyone else has" attitude. Whether that comment relates to women, beer or getting into trouble doesn't matter.
1) Spring Drills, esp when we only ever did kits and capes or duties on camp.

2) Dealing with arseholes that where promoted well beyond their ability.
No mention of flies, dust, rain filled shell scrapes, extended tours because of some mong not having control over his life, etc etc..what were you..a crab??
in 179 days I won't miss stuff like;

parades 5 mins before the 5 mins before the 5 mins before the.....

having to report to the airhead upto 2 days before your flight is due to leave theatre*

anything to do with RHQ

My boss, who appears to be taking too much notice of his holyness, the Emperor Mong. In fact I believe he has powerpoint lessons from him

*actual departure time and date may vary. Please see the grumpy crab for details
getting up at stupid o'clock in the morning


War Hero
getting told at 16.30 on friday that CO/OC/RSM* wants to see you 09:00 monday morning, and sweating all over the weekend about wtf I have done.

*delete as required
I don't miss working with mongs as I work with some tards here that make my regimental mongs look like Albert Einstein. Saying that though they make me look good so it can't all be bad.


I don't miss -

Parades for parades.

Painting broken trucks.

Dealing with over promoted knobs and associated wife of's.

Shit PT in my own fucking time.

The block and associated piss heads running about fighting, breaking stuff and generally being jack. See also dick head RQ's et al, making up stupid rules for singlies to follow.

Naafi queues, especially at the bar.

Not being allowed in anywhere downtown except one or two shit pubs.

Shit food.

I do miss -

Being paid lots for doing little. See also needing little money thus being able to spend huge amounts on beer.

Drinking every night with all my mates.

Having instant mates wherever you went.

Leave, adventure training and other treats.

Never having to worry about fuck all.

I really don't miss Ex Quicktrain/Active edge. Same thing, they just changed the name to fool us (can't remember when it changed name though, sodding Alzheimer's).
having to report to the airhead upto 2 days before your flight is due to leave theatre*

*actual departure time and date may vary. Please see the grumpy crab for details
Made me smile....grumpy crab...I've met a few of them...


getting poured out of a kraut taxi at south riding barracks only to find out some twat has decided that monday evening after a long weekend is a good time for a crash out.

getting dragged back out of taxi after trying to make a getaway when told of crash out
Muster parades.

And battle PT.

Edit: Although in a kind of perverse way I do actually miss battle PT because you knew you were going to get a good workout, just that it would fecking hurt afterwards.
We had a RCT bloke who smoked about 100 fags a day, we had to drag him out of his pit in the morning for muster parade and bump (not bum, before you start) start him down the road. He sounded like he was coughing up his lungs.
Don't miss:

Watching arse-lickers getting loaded onto all the sought after courses while most of the troop get none.

Looking out the window on Saturday morning to see guard commander walking toward block and just knowing that some cunt hasn't shown up for guard mount and it's time to be invisible.

Gammon steaks in the cookhouse with a pineapple ring fused on to the top with some sort of cheese flavoured resin.

No parking within 50 metres of the block, even though the block is surrounded by car parks.

Polishing FFRs that never leave the bays, let alone never leave camp.

Abingdon town centre.

Do miss:

Living in the block.

Only a short walk from block to work.

Skiving in the trailer park.

Series III landrovers with busted door locks and insecure fuel caps.

Taff Slee who always had some buckshee cans of petrol knocking around.

Being somewhere where I always knew where I stood in the scheme of things, even if the actual job was liable to change every five seconds.

Thursday night.

Having ALL the money that goes in my bank every month as disposable income.

Knowing you always had people around you could rely on.

Yup, looking at that, I miss a lot more than I don't miss.

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