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Thieving Bastards

#1
Got a pleasant phone call from one of my drivers at 04.30 this morning
He'd arrived at work to find his van a bit noisey, on further investigation he noticed the exhaust lying on the floor.

Some thieving bastard has been in overnioght and stolen the catalytic convertors off five of our Sprinters
Abourt £15,000 worth of damage.
I'm now sitting in the office waiting for the world to get out of bed so I can try and find five refrigerated hire vans before Sunday night.
On the plus side. I did get to wake our CEO at 05.00 on a Saturday morning

As this is Arrse I thought some of you might relish the oppurtunity to laugh at somebody else's misfortune.....
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#2
Got a pleasant phone call from one of my drivers at 04.30 this morning
He'd arrived at work to find his van a bit noisey, on further investigation he noticed the exhaust lying on the floor.

Some thieving bastard has been in overnioght and stolen the catalytic convertors off five of our Sprinters
Abourt £15,000 worth of damage.
I'm now sitting in the office waiting for the world to get out of bed so I can try and find five refrigerated hire vans before Sunday night.
On the plus side. I did get to wake our CEO at 05.00 on a Saturday morning

As this is Arrse I thought some of you might relish the oppurtunity to laugh at somebody else's misfortune.....
Can you not just look on eBay for someone selling 5 of said items locally?
 
#3
Can you not just look on eBay for someone selling 5 of said items locally?

They haven't been listed yet!

They are worth £300 apiece scrap, cost of repair can be upto 10 times that.
£2000 to hire five replacement vans, if I can get them before we need them at 02.00 on Monday morning
 
#6
That happened at my last job to our Sprinter box van, the little cunt apprentice had arranged it with his chav mates as well but it couldn't be proven.
I now work for a contract vehicle company & it's not an irregular thing for us there either, there's precious metals in Cats & don't the thieving twats know it!
 
#7
Our CEO decided that Catlocs weren't worth the expense across the entire fleet, i think he's changed his mind today.
Looks like we are getting a nightime security guard this week

Sitting waiting for recovery x5 and the hire company to open
 
#8
Replace the cats, lie in wait with zip ties shot guns and drills.

Do what needs to be done.B

low torches and pliars are handy too. Put them in a gibbet on the neasrest A road, word will soon get out.
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#12
They haven't been listed yet!

They are worth £300 apiece scrap, cost of repair can be upto 10 times that.
£2000 to hire five replacement vans, if I can get them before we need them at 02.00 on Monday morning
Maybe the thieves are from the van hire place to ensure your custom!
 
#13
That happened at my last job to our Sprinter box van, the little cunt apprentice had arranged it with his chav mates as well but it couldn't be proven.
I now work for a contract vehicle company & it's not an irregular thing for us there either, there's precious metals in Cats & don't the thieving twats know it!
In this more enlightened part of the world he would have been "invited" to a meeting. A portable cooker would have been lit, a wok would have been placed on it, cooking oil would have been poured into it and brought to sizzling point. A couple of onions and a couple of cloves of garlic would have been finely sliced in front of him and then put in the sizzling wok.
He would then be informed that his left ball would be cut off him in quarters and a quarter at a time placed in the wok and cooked, he would then eat the quarter ball. The process being repeated until he was ball less.
If he wished to maintain his wedding tackle in good order he had five seconds to give the names of his thieving friends. They would then be picked up and the process repeated, this time the requirement being payment for new parts plus a huge fine plus payment for the cooking oil, the onions and the garlic.
This method works exceedingly well.
 
#16
Penny wise pound foolish sums up the CEO.
Insurance? Or did he follow the above model there too?

Nah, fully insured.
Catlock's approved for all vehicles this week.
Security guard onsite.
5 hire vans acquired,
2 drivers dragged in on their day off.
A very tight (time-wise) 120 mile round miles trip for 5 people to pick up the hire vehicles.
Three recovery vehicles to take the vans to Mercedes.
One man has had to get in his car and drive from Wakefield to Birmingham to pick up the fifth hire van
The cost will be somewhere between £12,000 and £17,000 depending on how much damage has been done.

All so some scrote earned himself £1500 for a little night work
 
#17
Nah, fully insured.
Catlock's approved for all vehicles this week.
Security guard onsite.
5 hire vans acquired,
2 drivers dragged in on their day off.
A very tight (time-wise) 120 mile round miles trip for 5 people to pick up the hire vehicles.
Three recovery vehicles to take the vans to Mercedes.
One man has had to get in his car and drive from Wakefield to Birmingham to pick up the fifth hire van
The cost will be somewhere between £12,000 and £17,000 depending on how much damage has been done.

All so some scrote earned himself £1500 for a little night work
God almighty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Locking the stable door comes to mind. The CEO, assuming he doesn't own the business should be fired, he's not doing his job properly,thats assuming he wasn't told by the owners to avoid capital expenditure at all costs.
There was a programe on television over here about a Russian prison in Siberia known as Black Dolphin, they have massive dogs that can be set on the convicts if they ever give any trouble, an investment in a brace of those might be an idea.
If you have any suspicions of an inside job I have outlined above an earlier post of yours a method that would be employed over here to encourage confession. I realise such methods, whilst appropriate in Rostov, may not be possible in Wakefield. Sadly.
 
#18
The cost will be somewhere between £12,000 and £17,000 depending on how much damage has been done.

All so some scrote earned himself £1500 for a little night work
That's a selfish attitude. Look at the big picture.

Some of your workforce will get a bit extra in their pay packets that they weren't expecting.
There's another bloke taken off the dole.
The recovery contractor has some extra trade.
The Mercedes garage has a bit of extra work coming in and the parts delivery network have also received some bonus trade.
The van hire company are upping their profits.

All in all, less the environmental consideration of the CO2 emissions, quite a good day for the UK economy.
 
#19
That's a selfish attitude. Look at the big picture.

Some of your workforce will get a bit extra in their pay packets that they weren't expecting.
There's another bloke taken off the dole.
The recovery contractor has some extra trade.
The Mercedes garage has a bit of extra work coming in and the parts delivery network have also received some bonus trade.
The van hire company are upping their profits.

All in all, less the environmental consideration of the CO2 emissions, quite a good day for the UK economy.
Never mind all that bollocks. It's cost me a day off....
 
#20
I'm surprised that cat converters are so pricey over there. We're not seeing these sort of thefts here.
With platinum at $1500/ounce? I'm only surprised I have not heard of a cat theft here in ages.

In this more enlightened part of the world he would have been "invited" to a meeting. A portable cooker would have been lit, a wok would have been placed on it, cooking oil would have been poured into it and brought to sizzling point. A couple of onions and a couple of cloves of garlic would have been finely sliced in front of him and then put in the sizzling wok.
He would then be informed that his left ball would be cut off him in quarters and a quarter at a time placed in the wok and cooked, he would then eat the quarter ball. The process being repeated until he was ball less.
If he wished to maintain his wedding tackle in good order he had five seconds to give the names of his thieving friends. They would then be picked up and the process repeated, this time the requirement being payment for new parts plus a huge fine plus payment for the cooking oil, the onions and the garlic.
This method works exceedingly well.
You, sir, are exactly what Formerly Great Britain needs as judge material. None of this floss candy, slap on the wrist, "is spared jail" bullshit. Slam them hard and slam them quickly. Word will spread.

Tell me; how do you feel about stocks and public flogging for petty-minded council prats and the Garbage Gestapo?
 

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