Thickest Squaddy?

Had a tank driver who couldn’t work out his right from left, in order to overcome this minor problem when guiding him around the German country side we gave him a “special” pair of gloves, one white (the left) the other black (the right). Then it was a simple case of black stick or white stick depending on whether you wanted to go left or right.

Just when he thought he had got it we then swapped the gloves for the other pair, confused or what?
 
Had a tank driver who couldn’t work out his right from left, in order to overcome this minor problem when guiding him around the German country side we gave him a “special” pair of gloves, one white (the left) the other black (the right). Then it was a simple case of black stick or white stick depending on whether you wanted to go left or right.

Just when he thought he had got it we then swapped the gloves for the other pair, confused or what?
I bet reversing was fun o_O
 
Had a tank driver who couldn’t work out his right from left, in order to overcome this minor problem when guiding him around the German country side we gave him a “special” pair of gloves, one white (the left) the other black (the right). Then it was a simple case of black stick or white stick depending on whether you wanted to go left or right.

Just when he thought he had got it we then swapped the gloves for the other pair, confused or what?
I stuck an L & an R made from black nasty on the mirrors.
 
Our “Fred” wasn’t thick by any means, just accident prone! How he never hurt himself god knows.
77 Tour of ‘Derry out of Fort George, 1 & 2 Troop Ajax tasked with a Pub search alongside a couple of Platoons from the Duke of Boots.
The Shantallow Arms had three bars, two in old pub and one in a new extension.
Us Tankies took the front, while the Boots took the extension. (That’s another story)
The Brick Fred was part of was set up stairs to the top bar, he was last to enter carrying the FRG. He walked in closed the door behind him and stayed to hold the door closed. After a minute of dicking the drinkers the lights went out, Fred apparently shut the FRG loudly and yelled “turn the lights back on or this riot gun goes off!” There was silence for a few seconds and in a quiet female Derry accent from behind the bar came “well get off the light switch yoouss fookin’ idiot”
Yup! Fred had leaned back and turned the lights off, he hadn’t felt the switch because of his flak jacket, apart from Fred everyone was in tears laughing so much.
Poor ol’ Fred was never allowed to live it down!
And there are others!
 

theinventor

War Hero
Billy the Fish, 2 Royal Anglian. Issued with an LSW for Kuwait in 91 with no firing pin, as his pl Sgt said "He can't shoot it, he can't stick a bayonet on it, and it's heavier which should slow the little dumb bastard down".

This is a repost from 2016, to ensure that Billy is not forgotten in the pantheon of military mongs, the monumentally moronic little fcuker.
Ah yes, reminds me of a fellow subbie who I met there in the warehouse camp the day after they arrived. This was him explaining the situation to his pl of Anglians:

So, Sir, when can we start killing Iraqis then?
Well, you can't kill them now, the war's finished...

So sir, can we kill some Kuwaitis then?
No, we can't kill them, because they're our allies

So who can we kill then?
Nobody.

Long pause.
Sir, can we go back home then?
 

Themanwho

LE
Book Reviewer
Ah yes, reminds me of a fellow subbie who I met there in the warehouse camp the day after they arrived. This was him explaining the situation to his pl of Anglians:

So, Sir, when can we start killing Iraqis then?
Well, you can't kill them now, the war's finished...

So sir, can we kill some Kuwaitis then?
No, we can't kill them, because they're our allies

So who can we kill then?
Nobody.

Long pause.
Sir, can we go back home then?
Then we breathed some of the same fumes from those bloody oil well fires...

As to your fellow Subbie's conversation with his cheps, winding up one-pippers is something that all infanteers are excellent at, regardless of their mental acuity.
 

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