The "You Had That Coming" Thread.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by steven seagull, Jul 15, 2013.

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  1. Hello my internetshire chums.

    Recently I've noticed we seem to be targeting our own with our bile, insults and offers of carpark violence so I feel we should get back on track and aim our collective nastiness back to where it belongs. The British public and celebrities.

    Last week I couldnt help but raise a smile at the news that child killer Mark Bridger had met the D wings very own Diego Montoya and was left with a nice pair of soiled shreddies, some unwanted body modification and the realisation that his life will be an endless gauntlet run of avoiding razors melted into toothbrush handles. Couple that with Ian Brady being told he will not be allowed to feel deaths sweet release and it really was a good news week. Lets keep the feel-good factor going by

    So should you find a news story about Footballers posting pictures of themselves on Twitter with a loo brush in their anus, former glamour models noshing off unlicenced cab drivers to pay their fare or a story from some ugly middle-aged bint claiming Roger Decorsey gave them a tobacco stained finger fuck at the Royal Variety Performance in 1982 post it here so we can all point and laugh.

    Crack on cunts.
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  2. I'm ready...crack on...


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  3. I honestly opened that hoping to read a tale of someone getting shotgunned out of their flip flops for holding a child down for a Stuart Hall impersonator. It does count though as its laughing at the general public rather than criticising someone's spelling on the internet.
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  4. I hate to have to just hint but a famous Lib Dem did something very rude in a small studio at a major UK broadcaster not so long ago. The 'offense' was recorded and distributed throughout the channel - until an edict was issued offering the sack to any person revealing details.

    David D.....MP, called a senior Conservative a cunt -not realizing the person he was referring to was standing behind him.

    Gordon Brown allegedly swamped himself during a press conference.

    Yes. I'm a cowardly wretch who's not prepared to risk a miserable 'career' showing off to internet strangers.
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  5. I'd far rather Brady was dead instead of wasting £100k a year keeping him breathing.
    The same goes for other murdering paedophiles & about half those currently locked up on life sentences.
  6. TheresaMay

    TheresaMay LE Moderator DirtyBAT

    All year round you can be assured there's a feel-good story out there regarding the sheer stupidity of the Great British Public.

    ...In winter (i.e. October until fucking April) the local rags are awash with all manner of stupid dog owners following their mutts into frozen lakes and checking-out with an acute icy death.

    ...At Christmas, there's always a healthy stock of families in poverty getting swamped with payday loans and women of certain areas going on the game to finance the latest games console for Christmas Day, which inevitably finds itself on the shelves of the local Cash Converters in January shortly after the arrival of the Xmas leccy bill, which is unusually high owing to the plethora of "we're better than you" cunt lights that have been illuminating their council house since the end of August.

    But my favourite time of the year for the Great British Public to make complete cunts of themselves has to be the chav lobster season. I live not far from Felixstowe and Clacton, and having a teen daughter we spend a fair part of the Summer Hols (when we're not abroad) at the coast, purely to avoid her spending perfectly sunny days indoors on fucking Skype.

    Needless to say, she enjoys the beaches, ice creams, fizzy drinks with plenty of e numbers and so on - whereas I enjoy seeing the scumbags slowly burning throughout the day from pasty-white skin to beetroot red. None of them have the sense to wear a nice loose fitting t-shirt or even apply a gentle layer of sunscreen. Instead they administer self-harm like some kind of badge of honour to see who can hurt the most at the end of the day. Risk of skin cancer - check. Risk of lung cancer from all them dodgy fags - check. Risk of liver / kidney failure from excessive drinking - check. Risk of heart disease from compulsive McDonalds intake - check.

    Isn't mother nature and the theory of evolution wonderful?
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  7. You see I used to think that but then I remember Ian Huntley trying to kill himself after another inmate went Biped on his ass and realised that if their life is so bad inside that they are willing to top themselves then I'll happily pay someone to watch them 24/7 to ensure they can't end their suffering prematurely.

    Besides. I like the thought of someone forcing a pot of baby food down a tube into Ian Brady's twitching body.
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  8. Tricky one. Did the victim KNOW he was defending a paedophile? If not, then he's another plucky, have a go hero of the sort everyone approves of. -and everyone on here would be saying what a good egg he was.
    I'm feeling charitable, so, on the whole I'd say not fair to mock someone trying to do his good deed of the day.
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  9. I recently watched a hilarious video on YouTube where some rather yobbish lads were driving down a motorway in the inside lane, with some girls of the same age driving parallel to them in the middle lane.

    The lads encouraged the girls to wind down their windows and were shouting across to their car, goading them to "get yer tits out", as you do.(?)

    This carries on for several cringe inducing seconds until the girls' car vanishes from view, accompanied by a sickening crunch of twisted metal and breaking glass.

    One of the males in the car then pipes up with "what the fuck was that?" As the camera pans round to recapture the girls car, several feet shorter and buried in the last car in a stationary queue.

    Really, the lads should have had the crash, but it was golden regardless.

    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
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  10. I like cream crackers me, Jacobs missus likes cheese crackers, the dizzy bitch......Ritz preferably....grounds for a divorce or what?
  11. Drivers_lag

    Drivers_lag On ROPs

    Allow me.

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    I thought this was interesting on the same link in the gm's post..
    Why did the boats crew not have a defibrillator? Even shopping centres have them now and training is very simple because it wont shock if not needed.
    They had to wait for french air sea rescue to bring one, maybe she would still be alive if the proffesional body overseeing the swim had one on the boat

    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
  13. Thanks! I saw it as a part of a very long compilation of "fails" so didn't want to post that, you're a true gent!

    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
  14. You want to see the mouth breathers when they get to Lloret de Mar or Tossa (fnarrr) de Mar then, if you enjoy watching them crisp up. They're usually there for a fortnight, though sometimes a week and rarely take a day off. Most Fridays you can almost smell the cooking flesh before they all jump on one of Mr O'Leary's cheapest sky chariots to go home
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