Army Rumour Service

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

The wrongest thing in all the World.

Cutaway said:
Mountain_goat said:
After a few beers one night i went home to what i thought was my room to be blinded by the sight of my old man squating over my mums head with his todger in her mouth balls slapping on her chin while she played with her self. Thing is it didn't register who it was at first and got quite aroused. Now thats wrong

That's just erotic.
Didn't you slide a digit up the old boy's hoop and sing out, "Yoffie lifts a finger and a mouse is there !"

And where exactly do you expect Scampi the Prawn to go then??? :D
 

Baggins

Swinger
I had a friend who worked on a stud farm for some time in Argentina. He said he thought he would be mucking out stables, but ended up 'assisting' stallions to reach the point of no return and collect the money shot.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
Gremlin said:
Cutaway said:
Mountain_goat said:
After a few beers one night i went home to what i thought was my room to be blinded by the sight of my old man squating over my mums head with his todger in her mouth balls slapping on her chin while she played with her self. Thing is it didn't register who it was at first and got quite aroused. Now thats wrong

That's just erotic.
Didn't you slide a digit up the old boy's hoop and sing out, "Yoffie lifts a finger and a mouse is there !"

And where exactly do you expect Scampi the Prawn to go then??? :D

His mum was already engaged in fingerbobs with her own little Scampi.
 
Baggins said:
I had a friend who worked on a stud farm for some time in Argentina. He said he thought he would be mucking out stables, but ended up 'assisting' stallions to reach the point of no return and collect the money shot.

I used to wonder at the pints of bull semen for Artificial Insemination advertised for sale in American cattle magazines...(Involuntary shudder)
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
LankyPullThrough said:
Baggins said:
I had a friend who worked on a stud farm for some time in Argentina. He said he thought he would be mucking out stables, but ended up 'assisting' stallions to reach the point of no return and collect the money shot.

I used to wonder at the pints of bull semen for Artificial Insemination advertised for sale in American cattle magazines...(Involuntary shudder)

Of course it's in pints - could you drink more than that in a oner ?
 
Smearing peanut butter on your arrsehole then letting a puppy lick it.

Now that is just wrong!!
 

CRmeansCeilingReached

ADC
Moderator
Baggins said:
I had a friend who worked on a stud farm for some time in Argentina. He said he thought he would be mucking out stables, but ended up 'assisting' stallions to reach the point of no return and collect the money shot.

i know of two senior members of our esteemed forces (one now an occifer) who used to jack off their alsatian puppy "because it was good for it" :)
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
Devil_Dog said:
Smearing peanut butter on your arrsehole then letting a puppy lick it.

Now that is just wrong!!
Smearing peanut butter on a puppies arrse then licking it off is worse. Believe me.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
B_AND_T said:
Devil_Dog said:
Smearing peanut butter on your arrsehole then letting a puppy lick it.

Now that is just wrong!!
Smearing peanut butter on a puppies arrse then licking it off is worse. Believe me.

In both cases it depends.
Smooth or crunchy ?
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
Don't use crunchy it sticks in you teeth. Smooth has the advantage of doubling up as a lubricant.
 

big-timer

War Hero
A filthy PTI once told me a story on a london tube that emptied the carriage. He told how he went out in his home town one evening and got absolutely batfaced. The next thing he recalls was being woken by his dad beating him round the head. He found himself in his parents bed, in the reverse spoons with his mother and trying to push his drunken semi up her arse. The worse thing was he said he kept doing it for a little bit once he'd become aware of what he was doing as he had to pretend he was still hammered to give him some sort of excuse!

Now THAT'S wrong!

B-T
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
B_AND_T said:
Don't use crunchy it sticks in you teeth. Smooth has the advantage of doubling up as a lubricant.

Pevert !
Using smooth is the ultimate sign of queggertry.
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
Cutaway said:
B_AND_T said:
Don't use crunchy it sticks in you teeth. Smooth has the advantage of doubling up as a lubricant.

Pevert !
Using smooth is the ultimate sign of queggertry.
Marmites good
 
Licking the sweat off your grannies back while youre giving her one??
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
Ozgerbobble said:
Licking the sweat off your grannies back while youre giving her one??

Worse yet - you licking sweat of my back while I'm giving my grannie one.
8O
 
While Berny thraps like a bonobo and crimps one off in her denture free gob :shock:
 

FluffyBunny

RIP
RIP
So, in summary:

Airtight with your mum, dad and ginger step-brother, whilst your dog lick's your dad's peanut-butter smeared ricker, and you rim the dog.

Hopefully, you'll be able to get some time in licking sweat from your grandad's nads whilst he does your (sadly deceased) daughter who is wearing a Queen Mum mask.



Isn't this just another normal day in Kentucky/Cornwall?
 
You know whats wrong?

A little kid sits on his grandfather's lap. A few minutes later the kid rises up six inches.
 

Latest Threads

Top