The worst smell you have ever smelt.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Praetorian, May 15, 2008.

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  1. A few weeks ago, I was out on the piss, when I got halfway to the first pub and needed a slash.

    So, I nipped to where the public toilet was, about 20 metres away, but it was closed, so I preceded to urinate down the wall. Whilst there, I spotted a familiar shaped object, and it transpired that a tramp had had a shit there. It didn't smell at all.

    Until I pissed on it.

    I was pissing so much that I couldn't hold it and move, so I had to stay there for a full 90 seconds, breathing through my mouth. The stench was making me gag even breathing through my mouth, and smelt like a mix between shit, marmite and rotting flesh. My gag reflex was making me bob up and down whilst pissing, and I looked like an oversize fire extinguisher on a pogo stick. Finally I finished, and fucking sprinted away.

    I gagged all the way to the pub, couldn't even tell my mate what had happened due to the fact that thinking about it was making me gag.

    Anyone got any other smell horror stories?
  2. Spanish_Dave

    Spanish_Dave LE Good Egg (charities)

    Filthy disgusting squaddies on the train party after 2 months on Munsterlager and Soltau
  3. A place i worked once also had window lickers on day release doing menial jobs (no i wasnt one of them ) I walked into a toilet after one had dropped the kids at the pool and it was the most pungent vile stench of shit i have smelt you could almost chew on the smell it was that bad. i had to run off gagging
  4. Ginger birds piss stained, minging fanny
  5. A rotting half a chicken, stored in a black bag hidden in my garden as a prank; by a friend. Feckin stunk.
  6. Was clearing out a pub cellar and the place had tons of little rooms and passages.
    Down one of them were about 30 of what we thought were all empty beer barrels standing in a bit of lowered floor about a foot deep in stagnant water.
    We were happily slinging them out into the main part of the cellar so they could be collected when i grabbed one which was part full. Not expecting the weight I dropped it into the water and the contents started to seep out into the murky sh*te on the floor.

    the smell was the foulest I can remember, we both gagged and legged it out of the cellar to leave it for the brewery to sort out.
  7. There is a homeless woman who I have seen use the Victoria Line who smells of piss, BO, rotting flesh. She always had the carriage to herself for some reason.
  8. 1. Toilets in China. - basically never cleaned.

    2. I was once sharing a room with my brother on a skiing trip. I do not know what I had been eating, but I did the most disgusting fart EVER! My reaction - "oh my fcuking christ!" and then bury my head in my pillow.
    my brother - just getting into bed on the other side of the room - "er whats up with you? OH FCUK" and runs out of the room. Bear in mind that it was well below freezing out and he was wearing boxers. - it was that bad. hehe!

  9. France....not one particular place....just France generally!
  10. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    None of you lot have ever visited Sunderland have you?
  11. Actually seriously thought about this...we had a body come into work (morgue) that was very ripe! maggot infested and liquefaction!

    That was unpleasant!
  12. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Burning flesh, once smelt never forgotten.
  13. Big Jill.
  14. seconded.