The worst sight I ever woke up to was?

A pads wife/NAAFI bird called Tracy, we were both crammed onto a single futon in her mates pad, the flick of her zippo woke me and I lay there watching the red tip of her fag glow in the dark, she flicked the light on about an hour later and I watched the bogging troll slope off to the toilet, i dived up and whipped my clothes on before exacting a slick bug out leaving nothing behind but a johnny wrapper and my fast disappearing dignity.
I re-call going out in Plymouth with one of my muckers. Getting ratted, but some how managing to trap a pair of lovely young twins who were celebrating their birthday. Going back to their place for a night of rampant sexiness. Waking up the next morning with a hangover that would kill a civvy and discovering last nights vision of loveliness had turned into a supermegafuglycroccawildebeast with an arse that looked like 200lbs of chewed bubblegum. Even after years of counselling the nightmares still haunt me!

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