The worst job interview you have ever attended? Were there any lessons learned?

[Effendi]

And that is why you go prepared and cover all options:

1. PowerPoint (on four different media typea, five different cable types and a spare laptop).
2. OHP (along with suitable OHP).
3. Flipchart (along with a flipchart stand).
4. Laminated, sticky labels (with green felt board for attaching to)
5. Chalk and board (with suitable big duster)

That about covers all the bases. Only downside is your prep and rehearse time is now so long the vacancy will have been filled before you've finished laminating the last label.

You forgot white board pens and an eraser.

 

[Gamer 69]

Nice to know I'm not the only one. I had an interview yesterday for Company Treasurer. I turn up and there's a HR lady and a youngish bloke.

Turns out the Head of Finance got pulled (it happens) and sent someone who had been with the company for 3 days to interview me as the finance rep.

He read me the job interview and asked me if I had any questions. He didn't ask me any questions, with the HR rep looking at him, almost to say 'you are f*cking kidding me'.

Nontheless, I sat there for half an hour going on about foreign currency transactions, cash to bank reconciliations, debt management reporting and everything else I could think off, whilst making comments on the company's financials which, quite clearly from the blank expression on his face, he couldn't tell if I was making sense or not.

Anyway, agency came back to me, apologitic, HR loved me, but the finance guy isn't feeling brave enough to over-rule the Head of Finance, as I was the only one who wasn't interviewed by him. HR rep, tbf apparently has told the HoF, he needs to give me a 2nd interview.

Not convinced myself.

 

[bill4725]

And that is why you go prepared and cover all options:

1. PowerPoint (on four different media typea, five different cable types and a spare laptop).
2. OHP (along with suitable OHP).
3. Flipchart (along with a flipchart stand).
4. Laminated, sticky labels (with green felt board for attaching to)
5. Chalk and board (with suitable big duster)

That about covers all the bases. Only downside is your prep and rehearse time is now so long the vacancy will have been filled before you've finished laminating the last label.

you forgot the prison break method of having all your notes tattoo'd all over your body but not on your arse cheeks nothing spells disaster in an interview as your answer to where you see yourself in five years is pulling down your pants and mooning the interviewer

 

[Ian525]

Nice to know I'm not the only one. I had an interview yesterday for Company Treasurer. I turn up and there's a HR lady and a youngish bloke.

Turns out the Head of Finance got pulled (it happens) and sent someone who had been with the company for 3 days to interview me as the finance rep.

He read me the job interview and asked me if I had any questions. He didn't ask me any questions, with the HR rep looking at him, almost to say 'you are f*cking kidding me'.

Nontheless, I sat there for half an hour going on about foreign currency transactions, cash to bank reconciliations, debt management reporting and everything else I could think off, whilst making comments on the company's financials which, quite clearly from the blank expression on his face, he couldn't tell if I was making sense or not.

Anyway, agency came back to me, apologitic, HR loved me, but the finance guy isn't feeling brave enough to over-rule the Head of Finance, as I was the only one who wasn't interviewed by him. HR rep, tbf apparently has told the HoF, he needs to give me a 2nd interview.

Not convinced myself.

Let us know...we can't wait for Episode 2

 

[Fusilier5039]

Actually two I can't decide which was the worst. In the late 1990s I went for a job interview at a nearby prison. As usual I presented myself at the gates 10 minutes before the time I had been told to. I was promptly told I was too early and I should re-appear 10 minutes later. So I went back to the Road and sat in the bus shelter. When I returned I was shown through several doors to the interview room. Oh I thought you had left was the first comment..No I was told to I replied already aware I was wasting my time. That was followed by 10 minutes or so of the interviewers telling me what a bad job it was and how there was no prospect of promotion. The only question I can recall was them asking if I would be alright patrolling the walls ... at night...on my own! I told them I'd done plenty of guard stints. Never heard anything.

I thought the interviews were done after arrest and prior to ending up inside

 

[bill4725]

I thought the interviews were done after arrest and prior to ending up inside

only for mailbag fabrication specialist postions

 

[76mill]

Didn't even get to the interview stage, but:
Mid '90's, Customs decided that they needed some bods to do witness protection, as people were refusing to attend Court in big drugs cases , in part to scousers gobbing off.*
I had a think about it,had a bit of experience in this field and chucked my hat in the ring.
For some reason, my application seemed to have disapeared but hey ho, no big deal.
Imagine my chagrin about a year later when I was told by a well steady pal that my hideous semi functioning alkie line manager had vetoed it , and had tried to hide the paper trail which alas was returned to Customs by Kent OB after being found in the glove box of the car they crashed.
Karma is one's friend-said line manager was posted to Bogota, presumably in the hope of an unexplained Cartel killing, and promptly pissed off the US Govt by stealing-and losing-a CD of all the DEA informants in Colombia.
Made the Sunday Times, a rather viperous item which caused me no end of joy.

* Oh and the scousers? Curtis Warren, nicked and jailed by the Channel Islands boys...

 

[ericferret]

Walked unnoticed into the office behind the chief engineer and his deputy who were sorting through c.v's. An odious pair of ex crabs.
First criteria clearly was to weed out all the applicants who were army/ex army.
After they had finished I had a look at the c.v's and was able to get in contact with someone who I had served with. Told him not to hold his breath on this one.

 

[Fiona_TG]

I have to ask, for all you free roaming contractor types, what sort of stuff are you all doing? I've always wanted to work for myself, but not sure where to start. I envisage myself as the sort of guy that roles into an organisation to review something and tell them it's shit, here's how to fix it, and rolls back out again.

A few of my qualifications from the job could be used externally such as crime prevention surveying for large sites and architectural liaison.

What quake should I aim for? I still have my ELC to spend, about £2k.

It's IT for me, Resilience Management and Disaster Recovery Management kind of thing, so for your world I can't be sure but rummaging around on the usual websites or professional institution sites for your work to see what you find would be a good start. I'm going to hazard a guess and say from what I read in your post on your role that yes, I think there will be contracting opportunities out there.

For quals and training, contract/perm makes no difference. Different assignments will vary but if you can get on in the permy world then you can get on in the contract world, it is just about how you want to work rather than what you do.

There are pros and cons for both permy and contract so you will have to decide what suits you. Contract roles can need some travel and lodging which if you go Ltd. Company then you can claim for along with other things. Ltd Company is harder to go for these days as the government have clamped down on what was a good tax avoidance wheeze, so now for many contracts you have to go IR35 through an umbrella company, that is a doddle to put into place but you pay PAYE etc. so not as lucrative as Ltd. Company. I also think that public bodies are not allowed to hire Ltd. Company contractors without some approval process or other.

I just saw one for a DR Manager in Swindon with a day rate of £1,100-£1,200 GBP, that is somewhat higher than most but I am due to start with Network Rail next week so won't be applying for it, perhaps that high rate is compensation for having to lodge/work in Swindon

Good luck.

 

[Dark_Nit]

Didn't even get to the interview stage, but:
Mid '90's, Customs decided that they needed some bods to do witness protection, as people were refusing to attend Court in big drugs cases , in part to scousers gobbing off.*
I had a think about it,had a bit of experience in this field and chucked my hat in the ring.
For some reason, my application seemed to have disapeared but hey ho, no big deal.
Imagine my chagrin about a year later when I was told by a well steady pal that my hideous semi functioning alkie line manager had vetoed it , and had tried to hide the paper trail which alas was returned to Customs by Kent OB after being found in the glove box of the car they crashed.
Karma is one's friend-said line manager was posted to Bogota, presumably in the hope of an unexplained Cartel killing, and promptly pissed off the US Govt by stealing-and losing-a CD of all the DEA informants in Colombia.
Made the Sunday Times, a rather viperous item which caused me no end of joy.

* Oh and the scousers? Curtis Warren, nicked and jailed by the Channel Islands boys...

I had a similar experience working for a large American company which had & still has a large UK presence. My immediate line manager was a total lazy prick of the highest order.

I applied for an internal job with another division of the company - better pay - and was promptly vetoed by my line manager as I was "too valuable" in my present position and they could not afford to lose me.

The real reason was that I was being underpaid and the bar steward could not get anyone as experienced as me to do my job for what I was being paid.

I got my revenge later by dropping him in it with the works director when the prick dropped a £50k bollock on a project and tried to blame it on me. Problem for him was that the works director had sussed that he was a lying twat and asked me for detailed project cost info - which I had on a spreadsheet to hand.

Prick features ended up getting an effective demotion being told that he would be reporting to another manager who was on the same grade. I cleared off to another company in short order and almost doubled my pay.

Some years later I came across prick features working as a day-rate contractor in another company where I enjoyed telling him to fvck off on a frequent basis.

 

[Civvy Scum]

Nice to know I'm not the only one. I had an interview yesterday for Company Treasurer. I turn up and there's a HR lady and a youngish bloke.

Turns out the Head of Finance got pulled (it happens) and sent someone who had been with the company for 3 days to interview me as the finance rep.

He read me the job interview and asked me if I had any questions. He didn't ask me any questions, with the HR rep looking at him, almost to say 'you are f*cking kidding me'.

Nontheless, I sat there for half an hour going on about foreign currency transactions, cash to bank reconciliations, debt management reporting and everything else I could think off, whilst making comments on the company's financials which, quite clearly from the blank expression on his face, he couldn't tell if I was making sense or not.

Anyway, agency came back to me, apologitic, HR loved me, but the finance guy isn't feeling brave enough to over-rule the Head of Finance, as I was the only one who wasn't interviewed by him. HR rep, tbf apparently has told the HoF, he needs to give me a 2nd interview.

Not convinced myself.

Do the interview and demand 5% over whatever they offer you.

 

[MrBane]

The good lady says one of the best interviewees was a young university chap who tipped up and when asked why he should get the job told them 'because paper doesn't make the person, and whilst on paper I might not be the best, for work ethics, commitment and drive I am the best.'

Hired on the basis of being a ballsy lad which is key in their firm and he's shone ever since, much to the frustration of those trying to steal a wage.

 

[redshift]

I have a quasi job int/preso next Tue, so wish me luck. I will be fine. Or homeless.

 

[ugly]

Did you rock up naked or something?

I have to ask, for all you free roaming contractor types, what sort of stuff are you all doing? I've always wanted to work for myself, but not sure where to start. I envisage myself as the sort of guy that roles into an organisation to review something and tell them it's shit, here's how to fix it, and rolls back out again.

A few of my qualifications from the job could be used externally such as crime prevention surveying for large sites and architectural liaison.

What quake should I aim for? I still have my ELC to spend, about £2k.

There is a company near Brecon training industry wide assessors, its easy work, you are effectively licensed to assess in any field you hold demonstrable experience in!
Think about what you have been trained in and look at the licensing bodies, they usually employ freelance assessors and its not onerous.

 

[loofkar]

I sometimes think HR is a vocation invented in order to accelerate the demise of Western civilization.

 

[jmb3296]

Did you rock up naked or something?

I have to ask, for all you free roaming contractor types, what sort of stuff are you all doing? I've always wanted to work for myself, but not sure where to start. I envisage myself as the sort of guy that roles into an organisation to review something and tell them it's shit, here's how to fix it, and rolls back out again.

A few of my qualifications from the job could be used externally such as crime prevention surveying for large sites and architectural liaison.

What quake should I aim for? I still have my ELC to spend, about £2k.

Don't know if you have looked at the work-for - scotland website. Or search on " scotgov jobs" There is one up there that may interest you. Critical Infrastructure Resilience Integrator for devolved CNI sectors that may suit your interests, skill sets and location. I tried but it won't let me post the link.
Closing date is 5th Feb, salary is £36328 to £43923
Its not freelance or contractor but there is a good bit of self managing your own workload, meetings and appointments.
Ex police and ex military do well with and are well represented in that business area.