The worst/funniest sexual injury you have sustained

A

allgone2ratsh1t

Guest
#1
Seeing as some have thought the topics were waning on T' Naafi and being a sexuallyinadequatepervert whats the worst injury you have either personally sustained whilst engaging in sex or that you know of.....................:lol:
 
#6
being caught by your dad
 
#7
is having children really that shit?

Disclaimer: 1. not having as in either the Gary Glitzer sense nor the pasisng one thru the anus sense.
2. in the sense of being a parent. to like, a child.
Well, they're expensive enough to make my eyes water.

Raising them I mean, not buying them on the internet.
 
#8
Not sustained but dished out. When we were younger, my mate and I used to go poaching on a stately home estate. We weren't the only ones who used to trespass on the huge grounds, which included fields and woods.

One late evening, whilst stalking about, we observed two figures in the distance walking across one of the fields. Having a look through the scopes on our air rifles, we saw that it was a man and a woman. Now we were hidden at the edge of a wood and dressed in DPM, so the couple wouldn't have seen us. They stopped in the middle of the field, had a quick look around, and when assuming no-one was around, started to strip off and get down doing the dirty.

Keeping an eye on them, we snurgled up as close as we could. We must have got about 35 metres away and we were well hidden amongst the undergrowth. We could see by now that they were really getting carried away and the blokes little white arrse was pumping away on his bit of fluff.

We both looked at each other and had exactly the same idea. We both raised our rifles and took aim ... and shot the bloke in the arrse. We could hear his howls for miles as we turned and legged it.
 
#9
I hurt my hand once when it slipped off my dick & hit the wall mid wank
 
B

Boozy

Guest
#10
sustained? probably being knocked out in the heat of things by a kiss of the glasgow variety.

Given? A few nasty accidental knees to the gonads!
 
#13
sustained? probably being knocked out in the heat of things by a kiss of the glasgow variety.

Given? A few nasty accidental knees to the gonads!
Is this what you call foreplay, I thought foreplay up in your part of the country was changing your wellies!!
 
#14
Not strictly a sexual injury, but 9 months later whilst passing a large, and incidentally noisy, tur...sorry baby, I managed to rip my perineum so far the doc had to stitch the inside of my arrse! Oh how we laughed. On a plus side I can now amuse at dinner parties by lying on my back and firing sofas across the room!
 
B

Boozy

Guest
#17
Is this what you call foreplay, I thought foreplay up in your part of the country was changing your wellies!!
Alas I have no need for foreplay up here... wouldn't touch anything here with a barge pole. reason? I'm related to most people in town. I wish that was a joke!

No this was in Jockistan. Home of attractive nutters in skirts. I have quite a thing for sweaty socks!
 
#18
Not strictly a sexual injury, but 9 months later whilst passing a large, and incidentally noisy, tur...sorry baby, I managed to rip my perineum so far the doc had to stitch the inside of my arrse! Oh how we laughed. On a plus side I can now amuse at dinner parties by lying on my back and firing sofas across the room!
You really are the funniest.
 
#20
Not strictly a sexual injury, but 9 months later whilst passing a large, and incidentally noisy, tur...sorry baby, I managed to rip my perineum so far the doc had to stitch the inside of my arrse! Oh how we laughed. On a plus side I can now amuse at dinner parties by lying on my back and firing sofas across the room!


What about the other dinner guests,how do they feel about be fired across the room.Do they not spill their drinks?




 

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