The worst book Ive ever read...

I too hate leaving things unfinished, and as I was fortunate enough to win Rome's Fallen Eagle by Robert Fabbri, in one of Auld Yin's dodgy competitions, I felt duty bound to read it to the end.

If you are one of those who have a pathological obsession with Roman military tactics, to the nth degree, or you are a serious insomniac, this is the book for you.
Sadly Fabri does get a bit too detailed and carried away. I prefer Simon Scarrows work for my Roman fix.
 
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lumpy2

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Sadly Fabri does get a bit too detailed and carried away. I prefer Simon Scarrows work for my Roman fi.

Maybe it's a girl thing, although I don't mind ploughing through Freddie Forsyth's endless pages of techno-porn, as there's usually good characterisation and a plot. I'm afraid none of the historical characters in the Rome book were at all sympathetic, I lost track of who was stabbing who in the back, and frankly couldn't have cared either way.
 
Please tell me you realise I was taking the piss...
Oh yes. It works better as a horrible trip up the Belgian Congo anyway.
Oh Yas Bulldog.jpg
 
I haven't read The Hobbit, for example.
While I'm searching for the house key so that I can get out a bit more often, here's an interesting fact on JRR Tolkien

'Dwarves' is the plural for the wee bearded men which populate his books. In fact 'dwarves' is the plural ONLY for Tolkien's version.
As a philologist Tolkien acknowledged that the conventional plural is 'dwarfs' but explained that he wanted to differentiate between the usual hi-ho-hi-ho variety and his own species of martial, curmudgeonly shortarses.

I know, I know........... just checking when the next pub quiz is due.
 
'Dwarves' is the plural for the wee bearded men which populate his books. In fact 'dwarves' is the plural ONLY for Tolkien's version.
So is the singular of 'sleeves' a sleef?
 
Jury's out (as it hasn't arrived yet) but I haven't high hopes for Boris's book "Churchill Factor Wargh" or "Churchill Superman Bluster Bleargh" or something of that sort. Expect journalese and faux yoofspeak

But it dropped from £25 to £3 so I had to buy it

I have a table that wants levelling
 
Just had a week in the center parc Longleat. Great swimming and outdoors stuff. But as it has been raining for the last 4 out of 7 days and spending 12 hours a day swimming or riding the rapids and the Typhoon does get a little repetitive. Looking at the shops book selection...

All two for the price of three and everything was about 20 years old.


Mrs OB had a book given by a friend.

It was all I had apart from the times and telegraph, huuurump.


Took 6 days to read 360 pages. If it's a good book that would take about 4 hours.

I think the fact that the author a Nicholas Seattle was a civil servant might have been a factor of how crap the book was.

The Good Liar .

Just a mess of words that somehow the author though were linked together.

Total random sections, i.e the main character has a bad attack of the shits? Nothing about this prior or after until the last chapter when he has a tube of tooth paste and a tube of pile cream. " Oh best not mix those up".

The Daily Mail quote on the back should have been the warning.

" A real cracker , fiendishly clever"

Must have been read and described by their "Military expert" over his last 10 month break from reporting about tanks, guns and " our source in the SAS"
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
The worse book I've ever read is the last one I reviewed for Arrse, The Dark Isle by Clair Clarson. My god it was so mind boringly bad that I haven't plucked up the courage to request another book to review. It almost put me off reading books for life.

Thank the lord for M J TROW and his witty tales featuring Kit Marlowe, what a blessing.
 
Ash, by the late James Herbert. I used to be a big fan of his way back, he was up there with Sven Hassel as a certified Cracking Good Read source. The Fog, The Rats, they were passed around and read and reread by us kids with manic glee. Fast forward 35 odd years, and I saw this on special offer at Tescos. Don't, it's truly dire. Shit plot, shit dialogue, it feels lifeless, like he was just going through the motions. I guess the warnings about not revisiting your childhood are true.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
Ash, by the late James Herbert. I used to be a big fan of his way back, he was up there with Sven Hassel as a certified Cracking Good Read source. The Fog, The Rats, they were passed around and read and reread by us kids with manic glee. Fast forward 35 odd years, and I saw this on special offer at Tescos. Don't, it's truly dire. Shit plot, shit dialogue, it feels lifeless, like he was just going through the motions. I guess the warnings about not revisiting your childhood are true.
It was the last book he wrote before he died, and I suspect that he was not a well man. I agree mostly with what you say. It did read a bit like Jack Higgins meets JohBuchan on a bad day. Cliche ridden and not very satisfying.
 
I'm narky as **** about book recommendations and basically ignore them. I get especially annoyed by my female friends and their horror of my Patrick O' Brien, Len Leighton and Neal Stephenson laden bookshelves. I spit on "chick -lit" (fnaaarr)

The last time I let my guard down in an attempt to be more 'gurly' was Diana Gabaldon's Outlander. I got 30*pages in before I launched it across the room in digust with a hearty " Nope! Off you ****"

* I know. I didn't finish it. That remains the only book I've not completed. It was that dire.
 
ANY book by John Grisham that DOESN'T follow a legal theme. I positively devour his legal novels and then, every few years, he comes out with some utter tripe, his latest offering being Camino Island. It started off well and then I gave up halfway though - his constant obsession with this woman's dead granny and how she used to love the sunlight sparkling of the dawn waves blah blah blah .........JESUS CHRIST - after the tenth dead granny flashback in as many pages I just tossed it.
 
For me..... there are a great many worst books on the list but anything by Lee Child tends to make me want to have a mass burning. Dull plots, same old same old characters and Reacher is so incredibly predictable it makes my balls itch.
 

nice guy

On ROPS
On ROPs


This, I don't generally give up on books but made an exception with this I read about half then just threw it away, its absolutely terrible.
 
I would have to nominate A short history of nearly everything by Bill Bryson.
Possibly a great book for americans as they are not too clever!

Also the road to McCarthy by Pete McCarthy - another book which was rubbish.

Join Me by Danny Wallace - or how to rip me off for £6.99 at the airport for a pointless read
Friends Like These by Danny Wallace is dog shit as well. Complete tripe.
 
"In a Dark, Dark Wood" by Ruth Ware

I belong to a book club at my towns library which focuses on mysteries and thrillers. I like the club as I often discover new authors and I read a lot of novels.

This months book is dismal. I started, got through two chapters, picked it up the next day and read another chapter, did the same the next day and then said to hell with it. The book is whats known as a psychological thriller but primarily deals with a woman who is not sure what happened and wonders what she had done. I certainly do not know what happened and I don't really care
I am happy to say next moths book is by Linda Fairstein and I know her books are good reading.
 


This, I don't generally give up on books but made an exception with this I read about half then just threw it away, its absolutely terrible.

Bit of an old one now but probably available cheap: Douglas Porch's hefty but well researched tome on the Legion. It's pretty good.

Plenty of decent memoirs of Legionnaires like Simon Murray's that are a decent read too.
 

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