The World's Greatest Theme Park

#61
You could pick up cheap ball pein hammers and screwdrivers from the Peter Sutcliffe Tool Emporium.

Denis Nielson could dust of his old catering kit.

Sent from my AGS2-W09 using Tapatalk
 
#62
The American education experiece, Where you are given a time limit and starting with a pistol go around shooting all and sundry . Win a chance to level up to assault weapons if you clear a room of pupils in a certain time frame. Bonus points for finding and getting a nosh off of one of those fit female teachers that like student spunk.

We can also now offer a low cost option minus automatic weapoms at our other site just north of Stirling
 
#63
Jacks experiance

A live chipping and painting area, followed by store ship and RAS.

Next several hours in a gray box being tossed around in force 10 with accompanying sounds and smells as you oppo chucks up on your pit.

Then the middle watch where you carry out rounds, inspecting every compartment your responsible for in the case of fire or flood all the time wondering what’s wrong with sensors?

Thursday War, running around putting out fires, plugging holes in the side of the ship whilst getting drenched and unrolling and rolling up hoses dressed up in a fire retardant suit and BA.

If you complete this you get to go in the Run Ashore experience, a mock up Union St with Joanna’s at the end for that Pompey feeling and an authentic Boogie St and the Manila Red Triangle.

Final delight, queuing up to see the Doc about your sick dick.
 
#64
Jacks experiance

A live chipping and painting area, followed by store ship and RAS.

Next several hours in a gray box being tossed around in force 10 with accompanying sounds and smells as you oppo chucks up on your pit.

Then the middle watch where you carry out rounds, inspecting every compartment your responsible for in the case of fire or flood all the time wondering what’s wrong with sensors?

Thursday War, running around putting out fires, plugging holes in the side of the ship whilst getting drenched and unrolling and rolling up hoses dressed up in a fire retardant suit and BA.

If you complete this you get to go in the Run Ashore experience, a mock up Union St with Joanna’s at the end for that Pompey feeling and an authentic Boogie St and the Manila Red Triangle.

Final delight, queuing up to see the Doc about your sick dick.
Thank you for your fantasy contribution, however the Attractions Committee have already agreed a stand with the same name where your iPod and clothes are stolen, you're stuffed in a cheap suit and bundled out of the back door to make your way home.

We will keep your name on file just in case you ever try passing off such obvious bollocks again.
 
#65
I have to admit,I would pay top Dollar to visit this:

Theme park in Tennessee turns Princess Diana's death into a tasteless attraction | Daily Mail Online

I can't help thinking though that ARRSEWorld Live is a venture worth backing. Attractions I'd include would be:

Josef Fritzle's basement
A scale model of Chernobyl with bust up reactor
John Warbouy's cab

There must be other ideas in the bar
The world's largest balcony, where every participant is 'first man' through the window
 
#66
I have to admit,I would pay top Dollar to visit this:

Theme park in Tennessee turns Princess Diana's death into a tasteless attraction | Daily Mail Online

I can't help thinking though that ARRSEWorld Live is a venture worth backing. Attractions I'd include would be:

Josef Fritzle's basement
A scale model of Chernobyl with bust up reactor
John Warbouy's cab

There must be other ideas in the bar
The world's largest balcony, where every participant is 'first man' through the window
 
#67
Thank you for your fantasy contribution, however the Attractions Committee have already agreed a stand with the same name where your iPod and clothes are stolen, you're stuffed in a cheap suit and bundled out of the back door to make your way home.

We will keep your name on file just in case you ever try passing off such obvious bollocks again.
Your talking about the Jack2000 Park, mines Jack in the 80s, do you know the big difference, they let bloody woman in to Jack2000 and ruined it.
 
#68
If it's going to be in America, then a sad and shocking ommission is the Grassy Knoll Experience, where you get to be the second shooter.

After sucessfully completing the first round, you move on the E&E Adventure which involves avoiding the embrace of those tasked with tidying up all the annoying loose ends.

Only the most wily and committed make it through to the Off Grid Experience, where you spend what is left of your life living very quietly and modestly in a big city or somewhere exceedingly remote.
 
#69
Your talking about the Jack2000 Park, mines Jack in the 80s, do you know the big difference, they let bloody woman in to Jack2000 and ruined it.
Of course, Sir. We encourage matelots to avail themselves of the Jack80s booth - the perfect place to have the dandruff hoovered from the neck and shoulders of your blazer, whilst a giggling ladyboy waves a hairdryer at your crotch to dry out that map of Africa before you are let back into polite company.
 
#70
If it's going to be in America, then a sad and shocking ommission is the Grassy Knoll Experience, where you get to be the second shooter.

After sucessfully completing the first round, you move on the E&E Adventure which involves avoiding the embrace of those tasked with tidying up all the annoying loose ends.

Only the most wily and committed make it through to the Off Grid Experience, where you spend what is left of your life living very quietly and modestly in a big city or somewhere exceedingly remote.
Do you get to play as John F Kennedy as the 2nd shooter, and go full Red Dwarf walt?
 
#73
Your talking about the Jack2000 Park, mines Jack in the 80s, do you know the big difference, they let bloody woman in to Jack2000 and ruined it.
How about the bootneck experience? A Tarzan course completed in stockings and high heels, followed by various vaguely homoerotic 'bonding' rituals, culminating in a game of Soggy Biscuit.
 
#75
The Kenneth Noye road rage experience,:- Roar up in a souped up ford Cortina, and confront a bunch of millennials, armed with a samurai blade, you wade into them, with blood and snot all over you , you make your getaway, and inter-act with a CGI Noye in the Hatton garden job. & the brinks mat gold heist. For an extra fee, the VR experience in nick, mixing with the aristocracy of the underworld, you learn the tricks of the trade, and on release, become a modal citizen.
 
#76
I’ve not long returned from a trip to Stacker1 World (Florida). At the first ride I tried to get on the bloke dressed in a suspiciously brand-new uniform said I hadn’t paid. I showed him my ticket but he maintained it wasn’t valid. I disagreed and we had a four hour increasingly pedantic argument with each gainsaying the other and repeating the same points over and over again. When I finally gave up and tried to move on he wouldn‘t let it drop and followed me around the other rides shouting “he hasn’t paid!” from the side lines.

The missus didn’t like it and the kids ended up blubbing, but I had such a great time that I’ve secretly booked us all for another week for next year.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#77

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