The World's Greatest Theme Park


Book Reviewer
The Iranian Embassy balcony room. Sit with your hands tied. Can you survive a hail of flashbangs, Them slotting anyone remotely dusky, then get out before the burning curtains set everything alight?
The smoking room

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I know, I know, I'm going to hell
For that they will send you to hell. Then on a particular day they will tell you it was a mistake and send you up to the other place. When you arrive there St Peter will greet you with, "April fool, only joking, back you go".
Presumably as well as all the macabre and perverted rides and attractions the ArRSeWorld park would also feature a rail circuit offering rides behind a Deltic and a shooting gallery stocked with - no, I can't say it out loud; you know what'll happen if it is mentioned. Stocked with British rifles of a certain Cold War vintage, shall we say...

There would also be an area where you could listen to a lengthy lecture by JohnG on the deployment, use and operation of Milan, complete with practical demonstration.

However, it would take a few years to gain admission to the park since Crapita would be operating the turnstiles.
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Raf Regt 5 miles of death. Followed by cocktails with the Paras and Marines.
I want a permanent bare knuckle boxing ring where our resident champ (Ex RAF Regt) takes on all comers.

5 rounds of death (not in webbing).

Winner gets a free night in a 5* hotel.
Yes, but it wouldn't matter what attractions you had because the government would give the contract for advertising to the people who did the last round of Army recruiting, so they'd put off anyone who wanted to go, the website would be designed by Capita, who'd never get it working, construction would be done by a firm that went bust as soon as the directors managed to squirrel all the cash in some tax haven, and ticketing would go to G4S, who'd never actually sell any tickets.
Sixties style BAOR squadron bar world where you have inter bar games and win drinks and bratties or banjos for staying the course

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