The Wire

Discussion in 'Royal Signals' started by CSMA_CD, Apr 18, 2003.

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  1. Having not seen this publication for over 5 years I found one lying around an office................I picked it up and once again confirmed what a load of arrse it is....................what do you lot think ?  Does anyone actually read it or is it how I remembered it...........getting jiffed to write notes for the wire ! (what a pain in the arrse that was)
  2. Usually somebody with an ounce of wit and some intelligence is jiffed to produce the wire notes, and they usually turn out to be quite funny and informative.

    However, they then end up in the Adjt's in-try and are edited into a complete bunch of arrse, which bears no relation to what the guy has written.

    I'm always amazed by the TA units write ups, its always full of very healthy looking people trekking up mountains in far flung places, or on exercise in Australia etc. I'm in the wrong job :(
  3. I remember that blokes in most of the units I was in had a real nickname and a "Wire" nickname. The real nickname would be something amusing referring to his nocturnal habits eg "Sh*it the bed Smith". By the time he got in the Wire it would always be converted to Smudge.

    As publications go, it was a pile of sh*te. We used to have a sweep every month on how many pictures they'd be of RSMs handing over paysticks to the next RSM, or OC's getting carried out of camp on the shoulders of men who didn't like them.
  4. Another valid point once again,
    what a waste of our money. maybe be every few years you might get a chance to see one. yet! we pay for this magazine but when you ask for one they tell you there's none left to give you. i wonder if any other corp have the same problems?
  5. Come to think about it, i havent seen a copy of the wire for ages. Dont get me wrong, i'm not overly put out by this, but what is getting on my onions is the 30 or so copies of Soldier magazine that end up in our mail box every month. Wouldnt mind so much, but only 4 people work in my office!! Soldier isnt too bad a mag, but who the hell is paying for them all? And is this the reason i cant have new boots?
  6. I always thought the wire was like "king and country" soft, shiney and throroughly abosorbant!!

    And you ve got to admit those nicknames like johny"I m still smiling"beavercheese were second to none...
  7. Tea_NATO wrote:

    The Wire is only really as good as the articles put forward by the contributers.  If all we ever see is welcome to Sig Snooks and Good Luck to LCpl Smudger, then no wonder it gets tedious, but if your Troop has actually done something interesting why don't you write about it.

    Tea, with your witty repartee I am certain you could write a really good article...but I won't hold my breath.

    I note with interest on many posts on this site, how many people are prepared to stand up and winge about stuff, but actually out of all of you how many of you are prepared to stand up and do something to make things better?  Until then Ladies and Gents don't expect everyone else to stand up and fight your battles for you.

    Line God wrote:

    Do you pay for the Wire? As far as I am aware the Corps does not send the Wire out for free.  You either have to subscribe to it or your unit PRI is buying copies for the unit.  If you want your own copy and not rely on your unit buying one each for every soldier (thus truely wasting YOUR money), then subscribe to the magazine.  If actually, as I suspect, you couldn't care a less if you see it or not, then continue to rely on the ones haphazardly provided by your Unit PRI.

    For those that wish to subscribe to it, suggest ringing Head of Publications on Blandford Mil (94371) 2079 or E1 Publications on 94371 2085.
  8. Ha....I liked the comment about RSMs handing over pacesticks. I was sitting around waiting to go into an interview yesterday and saw a copy from last year. What was the first picture I saw? Yup...the Corps RSM handing over to his successor with pacestick in hand!

    The naming is quite hilarious though - you see what halfwits are writing it when they call someone something like Cpl "Jim" McWotsit. I can't work out why they put someone's real firstname in quotation marks. It makes it look like they're being ironic and hints that ORs are incapable of using first names without being embarassed. It reminds me of when programmes go out saying Lt Col Bloggs (Joe), Maj Smith (Rupert), WO1 (RSM) McThingy - as if only officers have a first name.'s the little things that annoy me :roll:

  9. Not true. I got jiffed a couple of times to do articles, once at 216 and once at 30. The same thing happened both times. I wrote them and passed 'em round the troop first. After all the lads read them and agreed that they were p*ss-funny and suitably irreverent, I chucked them into the Sqn Clerks for review by the Adj.

    By the time it got into the Wire, it had all the life sucked out of it by the Rodney censor. All nicknames changed. Any reference to bodily fluids removed. Tales of drunkenness completely omitted. What was left over, left my reputation as a p*ss-headed ne'er-do-well completely in the gutter. Incredibly, 40 members of 216 Parachute Signal Squadron had managed to spend 4 weeks in Ayia Napa, while World Cup 90 was on, completely without incident. A couple of the lads where going to sue me for slander.

    That is why the Wire is rubbish. Anything funny or controversial, or even funny and controversial, never makes it in.

    Mind you, it was always good for cutting out pictures for the chunder book.
  10. msr

    msr LE

    What's a 'chunder book'?

  11. Not sure if your pulling me p*sser but i'll explain anyway.

    The chunder book was a dog eared hardback A4 notepad which people used to use to rip each other to bits. Whoever had f*cked up or was being a general c*nt would be ribbed in it. The general method was to cut out a picture from a newspaper/the wire/commando magazine and change the words to suit the p*sstake.

    In the right hands they were an absolutely brilliant bit of kit. The one in the Ops room at JCUNI was as funny a thing as I have ever read.
  12. Still check the wire out on every issue. Check all my past units, postings of personnel etc. Cant knock it. I enjoy the write ups. I am now considering opening a book on RSMs passing pace sticks, excellent idea. It may even make money in the unit.

    What about counting the amount of pictures involving squaddies on, looking at, or pointing at, hills and mountains!!!?
  13. Convoy Cock get a vocabulary and channel your energies into being constructive instead of your natural tendency to be destructive.

  14. A truly funny idea!! Yet one wonders why anyone aspires to the rank of RSM if indeed the do have to sh*t pacesticks :? or is that a Corps perculiarity 8O :?:
  15. Thank you for your unsolicited advice. While i'm off looking for my vocabulary, would you like me to see if I can find you some punctuation marks for your next post?