Two guys meet up for a game of golf and one says to the other. "Do you mind if the wifes' dog comes round with us, I've got to exercise it and this way I can get a round of golf in. He's very well trained, so he won't be a problem." The other guy says. " That's crafty, I'll have to remember that little scam." Golfer 1 goes to his car and comes back with an apricot toy poodle in tow. Golfer 2 tries to keep a straight face and tees off. Golfer 1 takes his shot and it's a real belter. The little dog stands up and claps furiously. Golfer 2. "That is absolutely amazing, does he do that every time you make a good shot?" "Yep, every time." "What does he do if you make a bad shot ?" "He turns somersaults." "Somersaults? come on..you're kidding." "No bull, he turns somersaults." "That is bloody incredible..how many ?" "It depends." "Depends ? on what?" "How hard I kick him up the arse!!"