The wife found it funny

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by keeffy, Jan 21, 2008.

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  1. Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after the night at a business

    He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a
    couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.

    And, next to them, a single red rose!

    Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and

    Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
    spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

    He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring
    back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table:

    "Breakfast is in the oven, I left early to go shopping - Love

    He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and
    the morning newspaper.

    His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks,

    "Son...what happened last night?"
    "Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind.

    You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black
    eye when you ran into the door."

    "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose
    and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

    His son replies, "Oh, THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when
    she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone you fucking bitch, I'm married!!!".

    Broken table - $585.26

    Hot breakfast - $42.20

    Red Rose bud - $35.00

    Two aspirins - $8.00

    Saying the right thing, at the right time... Priceless
  2. I will need to try that the next time im pissed.
  3. $8 for two aspirins?!! Feckin hell, does the stupid bitch buy them gold plated?
  4. I thought only fat birds left Roses......................
  5. That's clever and funny. I like that. It made me laugh. (Though, to be honest, having been single for much of my life, I can't relate to it. I've usually been told, "That's good .... my wife wouldn't do that".)
  6. The fat birds eat the roses, coat retrieved
  7. Loved the story, emailed it to a friend and now he says it's my fault he spit tea all over his laptop.