The Weird World Of Military Nicknames

I

In_my_day

Guest
There was an RM officer known to his Troop as The Baby Seal i.e. every time they saw him they wanted to club him to death.

IMD
 
Pigeon. I was completely baffled and said so. Everyone said, 'you'll know him. You've seen him'
So, later on this short arse strutted in, head nodding at everyone he saw.
I was still laughing when I bought him a pint.
Somebody called me a 'hun' in Derry, and yes I asked.
You'll know him when you see him.

Reminds me of Zillard. You knew Zillard when you saw him all right. If u showed you a group photo, you'd know which one was him.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
Some American crap. Never watched it myself. The tv ALF looked like a cushion with a face. The ALF I knew was ginger with specs, and ugly. He was also a pad-shagger.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
Never heard of him.
Or a fish & chip training regime.

Except what once was FIBUA.
 
Alf Tupper, welder Monday to Friday, in a grotty little workshop under the rail arches.

But, on Saturday, he pulls on his spikes, and running vest. After dealing with some scheming, he runs the obnoxious, toffee-nosed prat from posh athletics club into the ground, leaving em all standing.

"I run 'em!"
 
3 Smiths in my last Troop.
Smudge, Smudger and 2effs ("What's your name?" "Smiff, Sergeant !") and Porky Veale.
 
Slight thread revival, but I was remined of this when loadng one of my blokes to a course last week. The first name on the nominal roll was a Pte Downs. I immediately thought that if the poor fúcker's nickname wasn't Syndrome then standards are slipping.
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
Slight thread revival, but I was remined of this when loadng one of my blokes to a course last week. The first name on the nominal roll was a Pte Downs. I immediately thought that if the poor fúcker's nickname wasn't Syndrome then standards are slipping.
We had one, first settlement patrol lags his gonker. Henceforth known as Splash
 
One of my mates (ex-Coldstreams but never mind) had a soldier in his platoon by the name of Gdsm Fiddler - known to everyone from the CO down as Kiddie.
 
Just came across this thread.

One unit had two fellas named James Brown, one was a little weedy white fella who was known as James Brown and the other was a BFO Islander and this James Brown was known as Brown James.
 
We have someone with an italian surname which made him sound like a don from a mafia film. This was too flattering for him, and it quickly got changed to make him sound more like a henchman. He is now generally known as JSB when in polite company, and Johnny Shit Beard the rest of the time.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
I may have spam this dit earlier on this thread but I can’t be arsed to trawl through and look.

The world of military nicknames can be confusing and after a while you hear so many that nothing surprises you.

We had a young lad onboard who had been leant to us from another ship. He wasn’t a complete sprog because he’s already been to sea, but he didn’t know any of our crew.

He’d been paired up with a lad called Richie who was a nice enough bloke, but had a very sinister side. You would not want to get on the wrong side of Richie and if he turns up on the front page of the news one day having committed some sort of atrocity, not many people will be surprised.

I suspect he purchased a massive Desert Eagle sized pistol when we were in Russia, but that’s a different story.

Richie was also blessed with possibly the worst set of teeth in NATO. We’re talking a mouth full of Sugar Puffs dressed at half arm intervals. He was quite self conscious about them and his dental hygiene was a subject best left alone if you didn’t want to end up stabbed in your pit at night.

So one day me, Richie, a lad called Thommo and this young lad are cracking on with jobs. Richie wanders off to get some paint or something.

I forget why but the new lad needs to get Richie’s attention. He’s calling out onto the jetty “Oi mate! Mate! Geez! Oi Fella!”

Clearly he has forgotten Richie’s name.

“Er what’s that bloke’s name again mate?”

Thommo replies oh him? Yeah that’s “Teeth”.

“Oi TEETH! TEETH! Come here!”
 
A young double barreled Officer O****** O** known as O squared.

A recruit instructor SNCO know by his peers as Tenko due to his specs and Jap appearance. Known to his recruits as Jap Head

The German manageress of the NAAFI shop who married an ex squaddie called Harris, known affectionately as Bomber. :)
 
Oddest one I knew was a Nigerian who's nick name became Paddy

Senior officer stated we're getting an EO by the name of O'd............, I'd guess he's probably I guess he's probably of Irish extraction.
A week later he gets a phone call from reception and details me to collect him.
I get there surprise of seeing a six foot Nigerian fella, who has a huge grin on his face.
"Ken?" I ask
That's me he says in a Sarf London accent. Inwardly chuckling, I take him to the SO
The SO takes him in-the look on his face says it all in terms of surprise, and knowing him as I did it was good humoured and says straight out- I was expecting......"
Ken being Ken says" Irish"
"Ah well says I, " Paddy" it is. The name stuck
 

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