The Wapping Slapper-We were warned!!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by jonah045, Jul 5, 2011.

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  1. Private Eye was ahead of the news when Rebekah Brooks nee Wade dropped a bollock...


    ONE question asked with increasing frequency as the News of the World phone hacking scandal continues to grow is: how long can the wicked witch of Wapping, Rebekah Brooks, remain at the helm of News International?

    When Rupert Murdoch cancelled his trip to Davos and came to London in January to “take control” of the situation following the sacking of News of the World assistant editor Ian Edmondson and the resignation of former Screws editor Andy Coulson as David Cameron’s communications supremo, he told Rebekah, who remains the apple of his rheumy eye, that he had decided with regret that it was time for her to step down as chief exec of News International.

    The harpy hung on
    Both in her current role and in her previous jobs as editor of the News of the World and later the Sun, she was too closely associated with the hacking scandal and NI’s spurious denials to remain. It was time, Rupert told his flame-haired protégée, with the faintest hint of a quaver in his voice, to move on.

    Rebekah pleaded with the Dirty Digger not to be cut adrift and begged her friend David Cameron to intercede on her behalf. Following this intervention Murdoch, who is quite an old softie at heart, relented. The harpy hung on.

    But “the Rebekah problem” has not gone away. How can Brooks be dispensed with in a face-saving way without shouldering the blame for being in charge during the hacking years? A happy solution presents itself: motherhood!

    Rebekah, 43, has heard her body clock ticking and wishes to present husband Charlie with a bouncing baby Brooks before it is too late. The couple have therefore embarked upon an intensive programme of Ugandan discussions aimed at bringing a little hacker into the world in 2012, when Rebekah will be able to step down gracefully with a nice seven-figure leaving present and concentrate on matters maternal. Bless!

    * * * * *

    Anti-Social behaviour

    BACK in January 2009, Brooks (or Wade as she then was) used the annual Hugh Cudlipp lecture to boast about her proudest achievements as editor of the Sun.

    “Campaigns provide a unique connection to the public,” she told an appreciative audience including her boss, James Murdoch. “For me, nothing can illustrate this connection better than our recent Baby P campaign. The public outcry was deafening. And we began our fight for justice with a determination to expose the lack of accountability and responsibility for Baby P’s brutal death.”

    How’s that looking, two years down the line? The court of appeal has ruled that Ed Balls’ sacking of Sharon Shoesmith as director of children’s services was unlawful and ordered Haringey council to provide her with hefty compensation.

    And two weeks ago the Sun was forced to carry a grovelling apology to another Haringey social worker, Sylvia Henry, for naming and shaming her: “It is now clear that Ms Henry was not at fault or to blame in any way for decisions contributing to Baby P’s tragic death and should not have been a target of our campaign… We have agreed to pay her compensation.”

    Presumably a severe dressing-down has been delivered to all responsible by News International’s chief executive… Rebekah Brooks!
  2. Didn't she used to boff Grant Mitchell before he went to Afghanistan to wee himself??
  3. I'd chuck one up her.
  4. Yes she was married to Grant Mitchell until she beat the fcuk out of him...

    FORMER_FYRDMAN LE Book Reviewer

    Indeed - he found Afghanistan safer than sharing a bedroom with La Wade. See Eyes passim
  6. Auld-Yin

    Auld-Yin LE Reviewer Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    You'd chuck one up Jarrod!!! :)
  7. Actually......there I draw the line. I don't care if it's dead, but it has to be a bint.
  8. I think the jury is out when it comes to Ms Brooks!!
  9. aye and gave him a good shoeing too if contempory reports are to believed

    edited to add: seems every man and his dog knows about wee grants abusive ex-missus
  10. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    Ms Brooks' statement re the Milly Dowler hacking:

    "I hope that you all realise it is inconceivable that I knew or worse, sanctioned these appalling allegations ...

    I am aware of the speculation about my position. Therefore it is important you all know that as chief executive, I am determined to lead the company to ensure we do the right thing and resolve these serious issues.

    We will face up to the mistakes and wrongdoing of the past and we will do our utmost to see that justice is done and those culpable will be punished."

    So that's all right then.

    The woman deserves to be given a good shoeing, before she loses her job, her pension, her private medical care, and her right to life.
    • Like Like x 5
  11. Wordsmith

    Wordsmith LE Book Reviewer

    This is classic lawyer speak. It looks like a denial - but in fact it isn't. This is because many English words carry multiple meanings. Consider the dictionary definition of inconceivable:

    in·con·ceiv·able (in′kən sēv′ə bəl)

    adjective: that cannot be conceived; that cannot be thought of, understood, imagined, or believed

    So if you look closer at Ms Brooks' statement she is actually saying:

    "How can you think that I knew of or sanctioned these actions".

    This is very different from an outright denial:

    "I did not know of or sanction these actions".

    Weasel words.

  12. It is inconcievable that Ms Brooks does not stink of piss, and cheat at cards.
  13. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    Fixed that for you, gratis.
  14. She's ginger and has done wrong...throw her to the Cuddles!
  15. ...deleted...