The Visits of the Ghost of Larry Grayson - How Gay Was That?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by k13eod, Dec 21, 2007.

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  1. Have you been visited by the tiptoeing, whispering ghost of Larry Grayson? Have you been moved by his spirit to take a quick step out of the closet? His mincing ever(ard) presence can visit at any time, particularly in this, the festive season. Have you done something recently that's left you thinking:


    So, the rules are:

    Nothing sexually explicit as it might be a tadge stomach churning and quite disturbing.

    If you are gay, it doesn't count because your 'gay moment' was probably completely normal - unless your one of those big butch feckers!

    You have to rate your gay moment 1-10 (this can be further rated by other posters!)

    My most recent:

    K13eod does not have satellite or cable TV as he would probably spend much time watching the footie, and as Mizz K13eod does not like footie, it would be a tadge unfair. So, instead, at the weekend K13eod takes himself off to his local, The Chav & Pitbull to watch the football in the company of likeminded halfwits. Now, sad to say that K13eod is an avid Gooner (and NO, that isn't the gay bit!); last Sunday he was all geared up to an afternoon in the pub quaffing ale whilst he watched an epic two games; the Manure against the Scousers followed by the Ar$e against Chelski. An epic afternoon. So, Mizz K13eod takes the dog out for an aimless wander and K13eod goes to the fridge to guzzle some stomach lining cow juice. As he looks in the fridge -

    Poof! The appearance of the ghost of the legendary bandit:

    LG: Oooo, look at the veg in there.
    K13eod: Hmmm, yeah there appears to be a plethora of root vegetables
    LG: Oooo, there is that. Why don�t you make her something special.
    K13eod: But I'm off to the pub to watch footie.
    LG: Selfish pig! Go on, stay in and make something nice.

    And K13eod spent the next couple of hours making a lurvely root vegetable bake topped with crispy bacon, crushed walnuts and mushrooms. Whilst sipping red wine and ignoring the call of the pub!

    HOW GAY WAS THAT? 7/10
  2. Larry Grayson was gay? I'm outraged!
  3. An older boy made me touch him when i was little?
  4. If it was smoky bacon, i'd take a 6, but if not you get a lucky 7.

    Luckily the bacon was there at all as for full on vegetarian would obviously maxed you out!!
  5. Last weekend, out Chrimbo shopping, I walked past one of those home-made soap shops and thought 'Hmmm, that smells nice!'

    If it had been carbolic, I wouldn't have thought twice, but it was some scented nonsense. Has to be a worrying 6 at least.
  6. No, no, no. That was not a gay moment.
    What you did was a good thing.
    It was sensible 'brownie point' accumulation in preparation for obtaining a pass out sometime over Chrimbo when you need to meet the lads for an emergency escape beer when the mother in law is snoring on the couch and the kids are fighting over the cardboard boxes which they prefer to the presents that came in them. And Top Gear has finished and there's nowt else to do except the washing up or stand there stripping all the remaining meat off the massive turkey (that was too bloody big because your eyes were bigger than your belly when you were deciding what size to order) - or even worse, talk to the missus about visiting the out-laws. 8O

    I've been doing lots of similar nice things lately because I am sage and wise and know that I can earn a pass out to the pub with me mates. As long as they have done something similar or I'll be stood at the bar on me own again...
    IME you have to do at least three 'thoughtful' or 'caring' moments in order to earn one pass out.
  7. As I'm "resting" between contracts, I'm the housewife at the mo while Mrs S is off being the man.
    A clothes wash thingy was required (so I was told this morning) and I found myself separating "whites" from "darks" whilst musing over the merits of low temperature powder versus bio liquid.

    I can't even begin to say how ashamed I am.......has it really come to this?

    Totally off topic but edited to add (Pete M) have you a GR for that RAF BD grave perchance?
  8. My gay moments are when I'm in a shop looking at scented candles! I wqouldn't mind that much, but my sense of smell is such that I tell if milk is off by count6ing the amount of floating bits in my coffee! Why would someone with the nasal skills of a metal table need or want scented candles!

    Gay, utterly gay! Still straight enough to have never eaten a salad in my life though! :D
  9. Larry Grayson gay? Never in a million years. Though I was always a bit concerned about his relationship with millionaire Bruce Wayne.
  10. I hate myself for this but - last night I was wrapping the Christmas presents for my wife while she snored away upsatirs. Usually I wrap in an aggressive (some may say over aggressive as if I was trying to hide something) manner - brown paper and selotape - no fancy patterns for me - no sir!.

    Not having brown paper to hand a reached for the roll of festive paper that lives in the draw under the telly. While in there I found ribbons, sticky labels and all manner of festive fripperies. Now Mrs B will awaken on Christmas morning to brightly wrapped presents in floral paper with bows on.

    I really can't look myself in the eye.

    Worth a cheeky 7/10 I think
  11. What is this .....a fucking shirtlifter coming out party......"I wrapped pressies"..."I cooked"...bunch of nancy boy's
  12. Whilst out yesterday doing some Christmas shopping I noticed that my hair was a little long. In the semi-unfamiliar environs of Devizes I entered a barbers salon (not a shop, you notice).

    I emerged sixty minutes later having done battle with a prancing cretin very much in the mould of Larry who wanted to wash and 'use product' and do all sorts of other arcane things to my pretty undemanding low-maintenance mop. Instead of parting with a crisp fiver (which includes 50p tip) I paid twelve english pounds.

    I am now deeply worried about my sexuality. Am I now in the league of men who need to regard themselves as 'groomed' and who wear the 'fragrances' of rappers and soccer players?

    Will I carry a man-bag soon? Will I buy 'trite' lifestyle magazines? Will I befriend someone called Dorothy?
  13. Being free and single (though not that young!) and having just bought a house, I find myself being forced to decorate and the choice of colours etc is entirely down to me. Much to my concern I found myself recently in a local art shop, buying a "colour wheel" so I could see what colours went together.

    Is the next stage the wearing of flouncy sleeves, a ludicrously long hairstyle and renaming myself Lawrence?
  14. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    I have to confess that I have been talking with wimmin on MSN, and whilst trying desperately hard to 'get in there', I have found myself listening to their problems and trying to give advice, in a non-judgmental, empathetic way.

    My gaydar has been beeping like a mad, ever-so-camp thing.

    Should I seek help, or is this what I should be doing until I get a result - will normal bloke-service then resume?

    Edited to add: C'mon Agony Uncle, help me!!
  15. I once had a discussion on hair products with the gay barber, needless to say I believed his mincing chat about slowing down baldness and purchased several bottles of shampoo, conditioner and wax.

    I am so ashamed of myself, so much so I changed barber!