The Virtual Squadron Bar

#1
The floor is sticky, the air is thick with tobacco smoke and the steam from a thousand illicit pisses, the walls are adorned with a veritable bumper crop of RMP headlights, boxhead shop signs and the flags of minor units who are still not letting any Sappers past the front gate. The bar is open, there is no such thing as a 'smoking' ban and choice of drinks consists of either the cheapest Markhof pils, those little bottles of sour apple gunk, the bottle of whiskey the youngest one-pip wonder has bought in a desperate effort to get in with troops or - if you're really popular or brave - a can of the Seniors' reserve stock of Guiness and Bitter. The section is arranged around the table in order of seniority, the full screw placed nearest the bin to ensure that all beers have really been finished and the 17 year old nig is shitting himself somewhere in the middle. The music is the Quo's classic 'In The Army Now' album on repeat, BFBS TV is on mute and there is already a vomit slick winding it's way across the floor from the birthday boy's table somewhere across the room.

Swing of Herforder, fag tapped on packet before being placed between tank-park-dusty lips and sparked up. A burp and then...

'OK lads...you've gotta answer this one. If you had to do it, the badge - *********** or in the mouth? Hic.'

Well? :D
 
#2
You forgot the bar furniture held together with green string and harry black.
The singing competitions starting up between the Troops sitting at their respective tables in the bar, " We are, we are, we are....." and "Sambo was a lazy coon..." getting sung at the top of many voices.

The duty Troop sprog getting sent to another troops old sweat to tell him he's a cnut and watching with joy the punishment he's given.

Then the bar rugby starting! 20 man scrums piling into each other to try and keep the empty can that gets forgotten about as you pummel each other.

Ah feck me!!! Memories of the attic bars in Traz! :)
 
#3
Bloody hell - I posted that five hours ago, it's light outside and I'm still going strong! Those years in Hameln obviously weren't wasted after all! I take it you've had a nice sleepy in the meantime you Osnabruck gay-lord :wink:
 
#4
Osnabruck was a long time ago mate...so was Hameln :cry: but I have had a nice sleep so stop gobbing it and get the round in!! Can o red for me.
 
#5
There ya go. So...your badge - in the arse or in the mouth? And - oh yeah - is that a horse or a dog or a gold fish or what? Hic.
 
#7
Quiet in here? Y'all poofs or something?

Jeezus. Oi you two, Wedge and BuggeredIt in the corner. Get the Ale in or get a room.

AK47 mounted on the wall (deactivated by the SQ at some stage after being acquired from Theatre) Sigs Regt Flag hanging forelornly down a corner of the Bar next to the 'MINES' (a wobbly) sign. Crudely carved Initials on the table near the Fieldy Troops end of the Bar and a large log upended with blood and vomit splattered on it and many nails sticking out of it. Pig board on the firedoor covered in pictures of fat heifers and countless slappers who had no doubt been promised the world in order to get a shag. Paddle on two nails over the bar with nicks in the handle from where people have been Babooned as they leave the squadron and the duty bint in the corner wishing she'd never taken the Queen's commission as yet another lad tries it on.

And not a single Blue Wkd in sight :D
 
#8
Ahhh! It's like an old friend coming home!

The smell of stale cigs & beer farts wafting up the stairs to the accomodation...the truly cack BFBS TV ...the active edge kit squared away and stored atop yer locker...the money in pocket (or the likely possibility of the SQN Barman lending you the geld) all conspiring in one irresistable cocktail to ensure your presence is indeed, inevitable.

Of many many great nights in 29s Bar (88-93) the site of P*lly firing mini flares out the window across to the POL point pretty much sums up the spirit of the "Sqn Bar" for me. (And, sadly, the Axe incident).
 
#11
dirk-the-turk said:
Of many many great nights in 29s Bar (88-93) the site of P*lly firing mini flares out the window across to the POL point pretty much sums up the spirit of the "Sqn Bar" for me. (And, sadly, the Axe incident).

Sadly the last count at opening time was 7 :(
the barman closed up at 20:00 8O
It aint what it used to be :x
 
#12
Hamelns new Bar is well ,,, modern!! All new posh lights and plasma TV . Only took a few hours after opening till the first fight started !! No names ,,, Man city fan
 
#13
Nightrained said:
36 doesn't even have any squadron bars... :(

This will have to do.
That's because in the UK, the unit's are only together Monday-Friday, and everybody goes home on a Sat & Sun. Germany is fantastic because all the lads stick together at the weekend, and some say it even makes a different type of squaddy out of you.
 
#14
amazing__lobster said:
Nightrained said:
36 doesn't even have any squadron bars... :(

This will have to do.
That's because in the UK, the unit's are only together Monday-Friday, and everybody goes home on a Sat & Sun. Germany is fantastic because all the lads stick together at the weekend, and some say it even makes a different type of squaddy out of you.
yeah a korn supping alcho ! Lost a few weekends in the 80 / 90 after a few corridor partys on the friday !!
 
#15
To get back to the virtual sqn bar:

It would be the only bar on a 'dry' camp that serves beer and every other cap badge wants to get in. Even on a two can rule it would sell 100 cans to 10 men. And the name of the bar would some how link to the sqn emblem.
 
#16
ahhhh, red, charley or tartan ( or superposh if you chose tennents with a pretty laydee on it) the rattle of dice in the cup, shock or euchre with cans for currency, the pig playing ( stuffed with old five pences) mouldy old dough or ferry cross the mersey ( later playing to teary eyes " he ain't heavy he's my brother")
winner stays on on the pool table, Ch***ey Br**n's pay slip framed in front of RHQ's bar In 21 ER, the same amount going out as coming in!!
Merry Christmas still sprayed on the wall in crazyfoam from years gone by,
Pints of Baileys, jellybeans, black and tan's
1 DM for a pint of Wolfsburg vodka and orange, hold the orange....
those were the days, nights and afternoons..!
 
#17
Happy days. Drinking Becks and Apple korn like it's going out of fashion and eating bags of Hankers.
Playing on pool tables that never required any money.
Dodging the bar stool that was wired up to a bell.
Playing games like Shock and Nails.
Rounds of a least 20 drinks costing only 5 marks.
Gangs of p1ssed up neanderthals in greasy coveralls staring at the only woman in there, some pad's munter of a wife.
Cries of 'Spillage'.
Seniors leaving the bar when the chest poking starts.
 
#18
Seeing how many grolsch bottle tops you can do that little trick of breaking off with a flick of the finger...before slashing said finger on broken top.

Duty pad selling his missus's pasties behind the bar at 1DM a shot...not even worth that!!

Non exemption parade Happy Hour at 1500 on a Friday afternoon...every man and their dog there for the duty "corner the senior in the corner" bitching session...then trying to get the pissed pads on the transport to get them back to their missus's...while the singlies crack on with the serious drinking.

The newest sprog trying to hide between the 2 sweaty Sappers on either side, hoping he doesnt get noticed and made to drink another pint of....stuff!

Squadron PTI bringing in the boxing gloves for the weekend milling on the dance floor.

Seeing if we could beat last weeks amount of Sappers on the table to "We're going up the sunshine mountain" before it collapses.

Feck me! I loved 12 Sqn's attic bar!!! :lol:
 
#19
Sorry, been to a corridor party. Just made it in time for a round. So whats everyone having? Hic

Remember "H" H*rr**s letting off a blue smoke grenade in 29's renovated bar in the early eighties.

Euchre and shock my favourite games. :D
 
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