The Ups and Downs of owning a Furnished Holiday Let

Robme

LE
Strikes me early leavers and late outers who only want to store luggage could be accommodated by the use of a lockable shed or some such device.
We stayed at a cottage in Wales and were asked if we needed secure storage for our luggage? Padlock to be provided by us
Not sure that it helps deal with idle scrotes who are still in bed at check out time. Unless you lock them in the shed
 
I usually struggle to leave in time due to the missus bringing too many suitcases of clothes that have to packed 'just right', so I lop everything in the car willy nilly and let he sought it out once we've vacated the building

It's easy to leave on time, you've just got to put the effort in

OK it will probably be another hour by my car whilst she repacks everything, but at least I leave on time even if the missus is then grumpy the whole drive home
 
Currently dealing with an interesting one.

Had a wedding last week that turned into an utter gang **** on account of the bride being a full on mental.

I won’t go into full details but here are the highlights:

Lots and lots of illegal drugs involved.

Lots.

Bride locking herself in her room and refusing to come out because she was off her tits on party dust.

Marriage being annulled that evening.

Big fight amongst guests.

Police turning up at the venue.

Bride being put in a taxi and sent home (to Glasgow).

Anyway the bride has decided that it’s all our fault. She’s leaving snotty reviews on trip advisor and Facebook saying our staff ruined the wedding, food was shit and even that it was us who cancelled it on the day. Basically she fucked up her wedding and life by being a drug addled mess and is now trying to pass the buck onto us.

We did 74 weddings last year and the reviews for every single one have been fantastic. This is our first bad review and is entirely lies.

We’ve kindly asked her to remove the posts, she’s got 24 hours before we post a full reply detailing her behaviour on the day and what actually happened.

People eh?

I shit em.
Except for the bride being a total cnut in leaving shïte reviews, that sounded like an extremely entertaining wedding if you’re a bystander watching from the sidelines....
 

MrBane

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
Reviews Editor
Currently dealing with an interesting one.

Had a wedding last week that turned into an utter gang **** on account of the bride being a full on mental.

I won’t go into full details but here are the highlights:

Lots and lots of illegal drugs involved.

Lots.

Bride locking herself in her room and refusing to come out because she was off her tits on party dust.

Marriage being annulled that evening.

Big fight amongst guests.

Police turning up at the venue.

Bride being put in a taxi and sent home (to Glasgow).

Anyway the bride has decided that it’s all our fault. She’s leaving snotty reviews on trip advisor and Facebook saying our staff ruined the wedding, food was shit and even that it was us who cancelled it on the day. Basically she fucked up her wedding and life by being a drug addled mess and is now trying to pass the buck onto us.

We did 74 weddings last year and the reviews for every single one have been fantastic. This is our first bad review and is entirely lies.

We’ve kindly asked her to remove the posts, she’s got 24 hours before we post a full reply detailing her behaviour on the day and what actually happened.

People eh?

I shit em.
Pm me if y want me to leave a counter review from a happy guest who can speak to seeing the mad cow going off her tits. :D
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Pm me if y want me to leave a counter review from a happy guest who can speak to seeing the mad cow going off her tits. :D
All sorted now. She saw sense and removed her reviews.

And to be fair to her she sent us an email apologising and admitting that she has mental issues.
 

MrBane

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
Reviews Editor
Considering the wedding was annulled the same day would certainly back that up.

I take it your email to her was basically;

'Listen you fucking maniac. Your wedding was annulled. Annulled. Less than 12 hours later. That's all you honey.'

Glad it's sorted. That's why I like the AirBnB model. 'Joe was a proper cunt when he stayed with us. Shat in the kitchen and fingered the wife'.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Considering the wedding was annulled the same day would certainly back that up.

I take it your email to her was basically;

'Listen you ******* maniac. Your wedding was annulled. Annulled. Less than 12 hours later. That's all you honey.'

Glad it's sorted. That's why I like the AirBnB model. 'Joe was a proper **** when he stayed with us. Shat in the kitchen and fingered the wife'.
I suggested to the missus that we just reply “did you write these reviews while high on gak like you were when the police were called to your wedding?”

This is why I’m not allowed a customer facing job in the business anymore.
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
When Me’s Mum and Dad died, us sprogs (4) inherited a number of Buy to Let properties, 20 years on I can honestly say that much of what I have read on this OP is totally correct and more. Now as virgins in the house letting market, we made shed loads of mistakes. When we took over, we had a brilliant management team who covered everything (at Cost). This was necessary as brother decided that he liked his share of the income but wasn’t about to get involved in the DIY. But after 5 years they sold up and the new team were dire.
However as the years have progressed, the 8 sitting tenants have long since moved on, and the 2 that we had to tenant, proved to be a massive learning curve. Funny that, that Homes under the Hammer don’t ever tell you about the do’s and dont’s of tenants, I wonder why? So and due to the ‘quality’ of the tenants that took over we sold each property off and split the proceeds.
We have had Drug dealers, Canabis farms (which cost an absolute arm and a leg to rectify once the scrotes were evicted by Plod) Benefit recipients. Unfortunately 2 of our properties were located in an area covered by the new 8 in 1 benefits, including Rent benefit. Both tenants who had never had a single problem with paying their rent (as it was paid directly to us) suddenly fell into arrears massively. On my experience I would never allow a benefit rent payer a tenancy again if I was interested that is. You get the picture.
Now as I understand it if jessers mob gets into power, he is going to change the law to give tenants more power, well no need to bother Jesser, try and get a truculent tenant (or member of their family) out even for not paying their rent.
One of the biggest problems was gaining access, when their is a problem, even where the agreement stipulates access due to emergencies. 1 memorable scrote demanded compensation for letting us in to fix the leak from the flat above and decorate as necessary. One scrote took us to Plod claiming we had nicked his TV, Computer, expensive Camera and so on. Other examples included threats of violence, shite parcels through the post (never tell a tenant where you live, and don’t get too friendly either) and neighbours who are well dischuffed with the tenant.
Now no longer a landlord, I sleep easily and don’t worry about people on the street.
Maybe the problem was to high an expectation with the whole thing, ie no ‘gratitude’ for providing a roof over their heads in the first place. And more problems each and every day or so it seemed.
We rent out our flat in a nice part of London. The rent is over 500 quid a week so you’d think you’d get a slightly better class of tenant, but no, you still get 6 figure earning scumbags.

We’ve had all the same snags you mention above. Fuck all to do with people being on benefits or being low earners.

By far our worst tenants were a pair of corporate lawyers. They threatened to sue us because they didn’t get on with the neighbours (clearly our fault). The retards couldn’t even change a lightbulb and would call out the management company to do it. Eventually we were able to terminate their tenancy and claim their entire deposit because they got a dog (against the tenancy agreement) which trashed the place and turned the garden into a mountain of shit.

These people were earning hundreds of thousands a year and lived like gypsies.
 

Wightsparker

War Hero
We rent out our flat in a nice part of London. The rent is over 500 quid a week so you’d think you’d get a slightly better class of tenant, but no, you still get 6 figure earning scumbags.

We’ve had all the same snags you mention above. **** all to do with people being on benefits or being low earners.

By far our worst tenants were a pair of corporate lawyers. They threatened to sue us because they didn’t get on with the neighbours (clearly our fault). The retards couldn’t even change a lightbulb and would call out the management company to do it. Eventually we were able to terminate their tenancy and claim their entire deposit because they got a dog (against the tenancy agreement) which trashed the place and turned the garden into a mountain of shit.

These people were earning hundreds of thousands a year and lived like gypsies.

Alarm Bell!!!!! You used the "g" word. And there was me thinking you were a regular at Appleby........:)
 

Imago

Old-Salt
This is why I’m not allowed a customer facing job in the business anymore.
Here's a counter-observation for you. Opened up Fb this morning and there’s a video of a young acquaintance and her new husband dancing their way down the ‘aisle’ at your place. Not actually a marriage as they were officially wed in London last week (C & C). All looked quite wonderful and clearly everyone having a good time. :)
 

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Here's a counter-observation for you. Opened up Fb this morning and there’s a video of a young acquaintance and her new husband dancing their way down the ‘aisle’ at your place. Not actually a marriage as they were officially wed in London last week (C & C). All looked quite wonderful and clearly everyone having a good time. :)
Yep. The feedback we get is very very good, especially for weddings.

Up until our mental case woman, we had consistent 5 star reviews on Facebook.

As mentioned before on this thread we are currently being investigated by TripAdvisor for putting up fake reviews to make ourselves look good.

Doing something right anyway.
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
Currently dealing with an interesting one.

Had a wedding last week that turned into an utter gang **** on account of the bride being a full on mental.

I won’t go into full details but here are the highlights:

Lots and lots of illegal drugs involved.

Lots.

Bride locking herself in her room and refusing to come out because she was off her tits on party dust.

Marriage being annulled that evening.

Big fight amongst guests.

Police turning up at the venue.

Bride being put in a taxi and sent home (to Glasgow).

Anyway the bride has decided that it’s all our fault. She’s leaving snotty reviews on trip advisor and Facebook saying our staff ruined the wedding, food was shit and even that it was us who cancelled it on the day. Basically she fucked up her wedding and life by being a drug addled mess and is now trying to pass the buck onto us.

We did 74 weddings last year and the reviews for every single one have been fantastic. This is our first bad review and is entirely lies.

We’ve kindly asked her to remove the posts, she’s got 24 hours before we post a full reply detailing her behaviour on the day and what actually happened.

People eh?

I shit em.
any video recordings from CCTV you can put on you tube with a link to the feedback, plus crime report numbers ?
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
All sorted now. She saw sense and removed her reviews.

And to be fair to her she sent us an email apologising and admitting that she has mental issues.
why is she not on this forum ?
we might find her greatly amusing
might check out mumsnet later !!
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Yep. The feedback we get is very very good, especially for weddings.

Up until our mental case woman, we had consistent 5 star reviews on Facebook.

As mentioned before on this thread we are currently being investigated by TripAdvisor for putting up fake reviews to make ourselves look good.

Doing something right anyway.
If you would like to have some reviews posted to give your TripAdvisor a bit more balance, feel free to post the link to your page
 

MrBane

LE
Moderator
Kit Reviewer
Reviews Editor
Well I've just come up to the place for a week's break.

Firstly, I feel that in one sense, it's got to the top of the hill it was climbing.

When we first got it, there was a.... How to describe it.... Not quite fresh smell about it. Then there was the damp smell with all the burst pipes. Now it's been replaced by a dog smell which is very mild and once it passes, there's no lingering smell that concerns me.

I do need to figure out how to make the place smell fresher without that chemical forced smell you get from fragrance dispensers, etc

Ordered a 5kg tub of baking soda for use in bedroom carpets were last guests have obviously let the dog sleep.

There's no damp spotting anywhere apart from a tiny, tiny speck in a spot where it'd recur anyway but usually much worse. This reassures me that the underside of the en suite is either drying nicely or with the very good weather, dried completely.

The garden looks clean and tidy so the team looking after that are doing a good job and the hit tub water is clear and clean.

There was quite a bit of dog hair on the master carpet which I've now taken up with the sticky roller in the cupboard - will be having a chat with my property manager about that tomorrow. Inconsistency of cleaning girls however it's to a far higher standard than the last mob.

A few things that just set me off but are all very minor, like cutlery and crockery storage not neatly laid out, soap dispenser not full, etc.

Key for me though is that this is the first ever time I've come up and not brought my tool bag. I was confident that I wouldn't need it and to be honest, all I use it for is to look the biz and hit things with it. It's full of choc and spank mags.

Power is at an all time low thanks to the great weather so big savings to be realised there in the long run.

Biggest bit is I've got some lovely cards left in the guestbook. I've been lacking in guest feedback - I don't think people realise how important it is. I've got four new cards though and they're all lovely and very reassuring.

So as it stands with the house, I am very happy..only family bathroom to upgrade and new back fence and job jobbed.

Downside? Having changed booking agent from a local firm to Cottages.com and all their associated platforms, it's been a nightmare and I have zero bookings so far under their umbrella. 2020 which would have started filling by now under the old group lies bare and exposed like an Irish Guardsmans cock in a Kenyan whore (witnessed, don't ask) and I fear my 87% occupancy will fall to below 20% which would be a disaster.

So Cottages have until end of August to sort their shit out or they're gone.

Always fucking something, eh?
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Downside? Having changed booking agent from a local firm to Cottages.com and all their associated platforms, it's been a nightmare and I have zero bookings so far under their umbrella. 2020 which would have started filling by now under the old group lies bare and exposed like an Irish Guardsmans cock in a Kenyan whore (witnessed, don't ask) and I fear my 87% occupancy will fall to below 20% which would be a disaster.

So Cottages have until end of August to sort their shit out or they're gone.

Always ******* something, eh?
So plenty free weekends available for a suitable discount for locals then? :biggrin:
 
Well I've just come up to the place for a week's break.

Firstly, I feel that in one sense, it's got to the top of the hill it was climbing.

SNIP

The garden looks clean and tidy so the team looking after that are doing a good job and the hit tub water is clear and clean.

SNIP- will be having a chat with my property manager about that tomorrow. Inconsistency of cleaning girls however it's to a far higher standard than the last mob.

A few things that just set me off but are all very minor, like cutlery and crockery storage not neatly laid out, soap dispenser not full, etc.

SNIP

Downside? Having changed booking agent from a local firm to Cottages.com and all their associated platforms, it's been a nightmare and I have zero bookings so far under their umbrella. 2020 which would have started filling by now under the old group lies bare and exposed like an Irish Guardsmans cock in a Kenyan whore (witnessed, don't ask) and I fear my 87% occupancy will fall to below 20% which would be a disaster.

So Cottages have until end of August to sort their shit out or they're gone.

Always ******* something, eh?
Mr B - Have you got access to an older, reliable couple near the cottage, who would be happy to look after the place, get it ready etc for punters, sort the laundry etc for a regular donation in a brown envelope? Ideally the chap would also be handy at DIY - able to fix small stuff without you having to worry.

Seems to work here ;)

You could also try the Air BnB route if you had a reliable nearby 'manager'.
 

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