The unseen wound

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Hexitele, Jan 10, 2012.

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  1. Now that got your attention.

    So there I was, minding my own business getting out of the motor at the shops when all of a sudden I felt like I'd just had the shit kicked out of me by a gang of Ninjas. In the blink of an eye I went from happily listening to the Bill Withers CD I got for Christmas to clinging on to life outside of my car. I'm not being dramatic when I say it was on par with being shot in the kidney by a Baton gun.

    So there I was, in agony. Suffering from wounds nobody could see and having to put up with some tracksuited wanker smirking at me as I limped/hobbled to 'find cover' which happened to be a bench. There I sat for 40minutes building up the balls to walk back to my car and make my way home.

    Here, at home with the back of a 168 year old weight lifter I find myself with no visible bruising, no gaping hole that requires 4000 stitches thus justifying my whimpering. No I have to sit here and put up with the dog taunting me with that look that says "You Sir are a fucking weakling."

    Anybody else been through similar unexplained and unseen agony recently?
     
  2. No, as a man I don't have period pains.
     
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  3. I have degraded knee cartilage, that flares up if i walk too far. I set off for a 20mile hike and it flared up within 3 miles. I'd not bothered to bring painkillers/anti-inflamatories or my sports support. So was in fekin agony for the rest of the walk. I couldnt quit cos my 7 year old son would have told me i was a cnut
     
  4. Is it still hurting? If so, I predict kidney stone on the move!


    If you think THAT hurts......wait til it's
    Scraping it's way along your cock before getting jammed in your japs!
     
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  5. You walked you say........................
     
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  6. Seen someone with shrapnel wound in his arsecrack, sure that's worse.
     
  7. chrisg46

    chrisg46 LE Book Reviewer

    Spondololythesis. A vertrebrae has slipped out of place by about half an inch in my lower back. Rarely hurts my back, but makes my left leg ache like the worlds achiest thing. Problem is, there is no brusing and doesnt even make me limp unless its really really bad. It just hurts :(

    Doc's originally said just wear and tear, physios said it was a muscle strain. Wasnt until wife got me an appointment at a chiropractors who did some xrays that i found out what it was after about 4 years of whinging by me.
     
  8. I bet you're a barrel of laughs at Family Functions you evil bitch.

    Should you be right (And I hoe to god you're not) when can I expect to pass the lump of piss quartz?
     
  9. Did you send that from Elevenarife? :)
     
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  10. I'm guessing mine is something similar as Pilkingtons designed and built my current back about 6 years ago following a little mishap, some airtime followed by a thud.

    My main issue is not the pain (I'm actually proud of myself for not crying out loud yet). My gripe is with the fact I have nothing to show for it. At least if I had been struck in the face with a 30mm rarden round (Such is the pain) I'd have something to show people (and the dog) for them to be in awe of, thus making my suffering worth while in some way.

    No instead I just have to put up with such comments as "O, it can't be that bad" and "Is this going to be like when you had 'Man Flu' all over again." Fucking Bitch!
     
    • Like Like x 2
  11. Have to concur here, and i'v been shot
    Get down to your GP toot sweet and demand that you get the stones removed pronto, as ill guarantee that the next time, you will wish that the tracksuited wanker were giving you a kicking as it will hurt a whole lot less.
     
  12. Sounds like the proverbial "slipped Disc", makes your eyes water but you'll get over it, eventually.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. No you don't get it you can't its to big to tango, which is why it is genitally saying hello.
    By the time figuratively speaking it did pop out of the Johnson you won't be alive anyway. As you will have figured topping your self can not be as bad as this can it?
     
  14. I didn't know you'd been wounded. Where'd you pick that up?
     
  15. I like your theory better than that of the other two. Don't say anything but I think I've invented them as a figment of my imagination in order to try and tell myself it could be worse.