"The Traverse Monster"

#2
I remember my old troop leader asking me in Sennelager one day,

"Lofty, have you seen my book?"

*picks up tatty shreds of paper*

"I think I've found it boss... Looks like the turret monster didn't rate it."

He was gutted, he'd only read about the first chapter in it, and had a week to go!
 
#3
It normally subsists on a diet of AA Maglites and Lumicolour markers supplemented by large quantities of 7.62 brass and link. I did once, however, see someone take three big run-ups followed by shuddering stops before they twigged that it was their gatt that was jamming the turret.
 
#4
As a very young lad at SEE, learning to be an ECE, I tried to chew one of the other guys foot off (sorry Scotty), but instead managed to get it to chew a couple of EMER's.

Didn't go down well with either the Instructor or Librarian
 
#5
Nearly lost foot by sitting on inside of turret with feet resting on breadbasket with gunner on power traverse,(Mk.6 Cent).My anguished scream stopped traverse as dilapidated ammo boot jammed against hull,not recommended.
 

elovabloke

ADC
Moderator
#6
2 x gophers. How the next crew in BATUS stuck it - we did try and remove most of the mess honest.
 
#9
One of our VM's at the 17/21 in Munster tested out the clutch on the traverse gearbox by driving the machinery wagon into the end of the barrel, result gun traversed off & wrecked the box body - muppet

Nobby
 
#10
Whilst operating on 0B on a range period the Sqn Ldrs briefcase containing hand written CRs and other stuff including a tasty bottle of Scotch and 100 Bensons came off second best when the TM gave it a chewing.....

Suffice to say I received a rather stern paddington bear stare and some not so pleasent words of wisdom,when I handed the tatty remains of the brief case and its now dripping contents out of the turret in a black bin bag .


He didnt give a stuff about the words, it was the booze and fags that brought tears to the eyes
 
#11
Our (MoD-run) school's cadets were on a trip to visit SCOTS DG in Sennelager in 1984 or so. A JNCO was showing us kids around the inside of Chieftain. Anyway, main switch was on, previous group had traversed, new lad sitting in gunner's seat asks if it's OK to traverse, gets told yes, and the turret monster promptly drives a bolt a few inches into the thigh of said JNCO. After a while, they got the turret monster to spit him out... the hard way.

...apparently this JNCO was known to be a bit cavalier around the turret monsters.

Fantastic trip, by the way - tiring, mind you (when the RSM's kid is at the school, it makes things easier - in fact the BW sent a minibus up from Werl to pick up "their" kids, and my dad only had to drive a mile up the road to pick me up; we used to live next door to Billy R who eventually made RSM)
 
#12
If i remember rightly the 'Glorious 2nd of Tanks' had a canny knack of trying to jam turrets with SA80's and as we all know the SA80 is sh@te, the Big Bad T M won . :cry: :cry:
 
#13
I managed to crunch an AVO 8 (9?) multimeter while on my ECE Class 3 course at SEE in 1973.
The instructor had asked me to look at a Chieftain with a real fault on it. (Can't remember the details, but the turret wouldn't traverse.)
Fault found and sorted!
Put my EMERs and toolroll on top of the turret, forgot about the AVO sitting in the little recess at the rear of the hull compartment, traversed the turret. CRUNCH! Whoops (or words to that effect). :oops:
The subsequent Court of Enquiry was kind enough not to make me pay for a new AVO. It would have been quite some time before I was issued any more beer tokens if they had....... :cry:
 

JINGO

War Hero
Book Reviewer
#14
Once found a lad in the same troop trying to straighten a gimpy in the turret of our troop Cpls Chieftan . Apparently the drill went remove coax lean in against the BV and then use the thumb controller to traverse turret by reaching over the gun. Encounter a little resistance continue regardless and then put it over the decks. Find source of grinding mettalic noise and then s**t yourself and unsuccesfully try and straighten said item out before going to troop 3 bar for a kicking.
TM wins every time.
 
#15
Traverse Monster also eats Jamaicans freshly transferred in from TA . With a little help from 'New Troop Leader', and 'otherwise engaged, not really paying attention' Gunners. Sorry Devon. The Dorbaum in Munster was a lot less quiet with your screaming.
 
#16
The Dorbaum in Munster[/quote]

Ah Dorbaum, a couple of hours driver training followed by two egg banjos and a brew in Mutti's. Happy days.
 
#17
When the Traverse Monster finally decides to go into hibernation with the assistance of a turret stand you can finally look into the belly of the beast and see what he's been feeding on.

A list of TM scran that I have witnessed includes; (In various states of digestion.)

Several pairs of Gerbers and Leathermans
Screwdrivers, sockets, spanners, etc, etc
Bolts, nuts, seat spares, (Some not even relevant to the seats in use.)
DM's, Euros, phone cards
Batteries
Rations
Lumo pens by the tonne
Dog tags
Books and magazines
SUSAT bracket
Mobile phone
Stereo headphones
Bayonet
Watches
Cam sticks
Glasses
Playing cards
Binos
The odd 30mm round
Countless 7.62mm rounds, link, brass and blanks
SA80 magazines, some full (TM is exempt range declaration.)
Boiled sweets
 
#18
CC_TA said:
When the Traverse Monster finally decides to go into hibernation with the assistance of a turret stand you can finally look into the belly of the beast and see what he's been feeding on.

A list of TM scran that I have witnessed includes; (In various states of digestion.)

Several pairs of Gerbers and Leathermans
Screwdrivers, sockets, spanners, etc, etc
Bolts, nuts, seat spares, (Some not even relevant to the seats in use.)
DM's, Euros, phone cards
Batteries
Rations
Lumo pens by the tonne
Dog tags
Books and magazines
SUSAT bracket
Mobile phone
Stereo headphones
Bayonet
Watches
Cam sticks
Glasses
Playing cards
Binos
The odd 30mm round
Countless 7.62mm rounds, link, brass and blanks
SA80 magazines, some full (TM is exempt range declaration.)
Boiled sweets

Add,from Cents,oatmeal blocks,
mess tins,
boiling vessels,
Black thermos flask,
Sterlings,
25 point connector,
Allen keys,
puff balls,
reclosure lids,
po injector,
spare browning barrel,
spent cartridge bag.
 
#20
whilst on gunning for my tp sgt on op telic coming out of a replen somehow it got hold of his resi and stoped all trav.

whilst operating a cvrt in batus my commander kept loosing things like torches and pens but after a few hours upsidedown cleaning the turret ring i came up trumps with all and more they were just a bit wet so to speak
 

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