The top 10 festival funnies were judged to be: 1) Nick Helm: "I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves." 2) Tim Vine: "Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels." 3) Hannibal Buress: "People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time'. You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works." 4) Tim Key: "Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought... once you've hired the car..." 5) Matt Kirshen: "I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess." 6) Sarah Millican: "My mother told me, you don't have to put anything in your mouth you don't want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards." 7) Alan Sharp: "I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure." Mark Watson: "Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife." 9) Andrew Lawrence: "I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can't even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails." 10) DeAnne Smith: "My friend died doing what he loved ... Heroin."