The thought police are after me


War Hero
Yes, that was me. I'm retiring at the end of May. So I have no intention of doing this training.

Oh well then that answers your question.

As a parting shot you could tell them that a Chief Diversity Officer is the same as having one employee too many.
Either that or he's just really, Really fecking ugly..

Not any more.

No this is a SJW
So Justa Wanka?
Just before I quit my last job I set up the online learning on our LMS with timers. Each page had a minimum time before you could move onto the next one. I also made it so if anyone failed the quiz/test at the end they had to go through all the lessons before they could take it again.

As I was the only person who knew how to set this and the person taking over the role (part of her part time job) and she decided that after half a days training (on the 4 days worth of training for inductions alone) that she knew it all I didn't even leave her the passwords.

Funnily enough a while later they went back to having a training team again. It turns out I can still access their LMS and if I wanted to, I could feck it all up for them (again)
Excellent scope for japes & jiggerypokery!
Replace the page timers and test q's with this stuff. Bet now!


War Hero
Send her this.



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"I see the drunken Glaswegian in cell 9 keeping everyone up has stopped"....... "Yeh.... go and put on drunken gobby Geordie disc 7, that really winds everyone up".

Gout Man

Book Reviewer
Yes, that was me. I'm retiring at the end of May.
In that case I think you should do it and have a jolly good laugh. Arrse has given you a plentiful supply of material courtesy of this thread and you could quite easily with a bit of thought and application turn this day on its head leaving the head of this department suicidal.
Just think you won’t even have to worry about catching up with your work.
Feck em, play along and have a jolly.
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Tell 'em you feel this course disadvantages and demeans you because you assumed you were already doing what was required under the Equity Sequence banner. You feel there is a level of harassment by being made to attend this course and can they point out your shortcomings concerning equity and inclusion. Also this policy breaches your rights to work without distraction thus endangering your capacity to work without fear or favour. :cool:
I'm knicking that for future use.

It'll be better than my usual reply to this stuff.

Edited go add: Its a jolly good thing that I've been working from home/furloughed for the past year and its tumultuous social and political bill hooks.
Did somebody piss on his Monday morning?
Praise be to the Lord that I'm free of all that bollox now.
Best of luck coming up with something to appease the anus.
In my previous life after the Army in the civil service I studiously avoided the "diversity" training course for several years until I left in 2001. Coincidentally, not, I always had a meeting whenever they tried to book me on one. I should really add this so hence the edit. One of my motivations, besides just avoiding it as a challenge. was an incident where a complaint was made against one of my colleagues. The complaint was that she had made an an alleged waycist remark to a representative of an advice organisation.. The men in dark suits subsequently arrived to investigate. If anyone has been in the civil service they will know the arrival of the dark suited men means serious shit going down. In the past I've seen them stage a fire alarm to clear the building and escort he "victim" off the premises. A sort of watered down civilian SIB. Obviously no serious investigation had been made before their arrival. The premise was if you had been on the course you were personally liable, if you hadn't the Department was. She had been on the course. Now luckily for my colleague I was present when the alleged comment was supposed to have been made. And of course it was completely fictitious and no such thing had been said. I had to see the dark suited men and make a statement after which the whole thing was dropped. The party that had made the allegation of course never replied to the investigation. I often wonder however what would have happened if I hadn't to have been in that room at that time...
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Nice that your employer has taken it upon themselves to tell you how to think in 'personal situations'....

'Values and Standards' anyone ?

' The Service test ' ?

funny that .. and funny that where people represent a commercial organisation it's management might be just as concerned as the MoD is is about the conduct of Mil pers


Book Reviewer
It's the new "Unconscious Bias" training that will allow you operate effectively within a snowflakey environment, creating a safe space for both yourself and those around you.

Feel the love and embrace it. :D

feeling and embracing anything will get you on a register.
'Values and Standards' anyone ?

' The Service test ' ?

funny that .. and funny that where people represent a commercial organisation it's management might be just as concerned as the MoD is is about the conduct of Mil pers

Values and Standards/Service test tend to be what individual COs think they should be.

i.e, they make it up to suit themselves.
I'm so glad I'm not in the workplace anymore because I would be unemployed or in gaol as I couldn't cope with all this PC shyte.