The things you did to your Commander!

Discussion in 'RAC' started by Blind_Pew, Jan 11, 2006.

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  1. Please list all the things you have done to your Commander without him/her knowing?
    Smeg on the ear piece!
    Smeg on the fluffy mic guard! etc! etc! etc!
  2. Troop CPLhad a shitty on with Tp Leader so he chucked his SMG into a ditch, ex came to halt later while major search went on but never found. Operator later in life became S/sgt and picked up BEM
  3. If you troll through the QDG.ORG.UK Homepage,there´s a account of a trooper,who after wearing his socks on scheme for two weeks,washed them in the BV,then made a brew with the water!!!!

    Must have loved his Commander! :p
  4. Once had an extremely obnoxious RSO (Regimental Signals Officer) who was a complete arrse. When bomming along on a FTX one day and him being his normal self we stopped our Sultan in a german farm-yard for a brew and a sarnie one night. My driver jumps out and gets the bacon grill going on the single burner and I was buttering the bread. We both had army torches mine was tucked under my chin so I could use both hands. Caught something out the corner of my eye and nearly died when I saw it was this huge Alsatian crawling on his belly after our scoff. Shood him away carried on buttering and chatting. A minute or two later went back to the bread pile and saw the damned dog busily licking off the marg from the top slice. (I think you might just be ahead of me here.) just going to chuck it for the dog to finish when I got one of those nasty thoughts in my head, looked at my driver and saw he had the same idea.

    Upshot was that two freshly fried bacon grill bits on the bread and gave the other slice to the dog for a bit more slobber and presented it to the RSO. He scoffed the lot down and my was I grinning when I asked him if he enjoyed it. "Fantastic Cpl Stumpyhussar that hit the spot". We nearly wet ourselves :D
  5. Then there is the old favourite of a liberal smear of boot polish on the cmdr`s sight brow pad and eye-piece. Used to take bets on how long it would be before he looked in a mirror. Hardest part was keeping a straight face during the IG`s crew debrief on the ranges. "Crew, crew shun. Kin `ell, sir, you been fighting again?" . :lol:
  6. I used to rim his cup with smeg every time .... one day I didn't have the time to do it and he complained that his brew "Tasted funny"
  7. Forgot about that one really funny to watch the Commander with his 'mask of Zorro' taking the de-brief like that. Even the gunnery instructors used to grin and it's a known fact that they have their funny bone removed at Lulworth.
  8. Like StumpyHussar I did mine to our RSO during my time in Comd Tp. Just a little bit of piss in his brew.

    I also snotted into a plate of "all in" and passed it to a Tp Sgt that was a t**t in a Sqn.
  9. Whilst doing a debus drill in a wallior we staged an accident. Full screw tells the boss its clear to reverse then gets the blokes all set boss faces backwards and off he goes. We then lie down infront of the wagon and play ran over. He sh1t a brick jumped out whilst it was still reversing. Got his head tangled in the head set slipped and broke 2 of his fingers. He still ran over to start first aid though. Bloody nice bloke!
  10. Bad_Crow
    This is all about revenge and how you extracted it! But it is nice to see you had at least one nice Boss.
  11. I did know a chap (no name no pac drill) who had a penchant for having a dump up a tree, the idea was to hit any passing Snr/Officer Type, Game On!
  12. Used to take a selection of ex-lax on ex for the poor unfurtunate TP ldr that always pi$*ed me off!
  13. Feeding the Commander with Pal (Dog Food) for the duration was a must, he still hasn't got a clue!
    Bit of curry or chilly powder, sorted ;)
  14. Had an arrse of an OC once who I had the dubious pleasure of driving Sultan for on one particularly wet and cold Ex. First couple of weeks would be daylight hours driving all over Germany with the signaller in the back forced to stay awake because said OC couldn't be arrsed to listen out on the net. Then bivvy up in some out of the way place away from the rest of the Sqn where OC would skip off to orders come back, take a gulp from his big bottle of Jaegermeister and then dive into his scratcher for his "deserved" 8 hour zonk while Scaley and me stagged on all night guard/radio stag snatching an hour or 2 kip if we could. Course after this me and the scaleyback were ballbagsed and a bit sacked off so we waited until he was peacefully snoring nicked his Jaegermeister drank half and topped it up with p**s, after this his evening routine became a real morale booster, how he didn't notice I'll never know. (This was also the ex where I kamikazied the 9/12's CV and nearly caused their CO to die by toothbrush).

    Turned out we weren't the only ones who had such a high opinion of him, as 1 year into a 2 year posting with us he got a position as tea boy in Whitehall.
  15. Spanish_Dave

    Spanish_Dave LE Good Egg (charities)

    In the days of Rolo's in rations we had a GLSC who used to pinch them all the time so we disected one and emptied it, filled it with snot and put it back together, funny thing is he enjoyed it!!