The thin line between banter and harassment.

Chalkster69

Clanker
"Banter" used to be fairly light hearted.

Nowadays it's used as an umbrella statement by lackwits to try & justify some pretty nasty stuff - "it woz only bants mate"....

Listening to some of the "banter" between the builders in the local pubs, I'm glad my lads were smart enough to get decent jobs....
 

Mrsheeny

Old-Salt
All this does is knocks the wedge between the races a little deeper.

Instead of a bit of light hearted banter people will ignore the other races and the divide grows.
 

Fake Sheikh

Old-Salt
Worked in the Civil Service with a professional cnut/WO2 on FTRS, major pee taker but a soldiers soldier.
Good at job but not good for not opening their gob & spouting off, sadly for some this is cool.
Sadly some in the Army see this to be good & not all softly softly approach, but he was a cnut.
 
I have always thought the line is crossed where the person on the receiving end makes clear, that they are not happy anymore to be a butt of a joke and don't have the right to ignore the moron, either because they are physically intimidated, or lower on the social hierarchical structure to preclude them from striking said irritating presence.

Bye the bye, social media is the worst of places for this.
 
Banter has an 'evolutionary' purpose.

It sorts the men from the boys.

Banter needs to be cruel and cut to the core. That's the whole point.

Hit a man where it hurts, when he's not expecting it. Let him know. See how he takes it.

Some will hold grudges and bitch back at you even months later. Sulking all the while.

A small man can hit a big man with this. It's the great leveler. Perhaps he told you something, not quite in confidence, maybe, but he let something slip. Teach him about loose lips as well!

Prod them in the ribs.

If they can't forget about that and be quick-witted enough to catch you out on your weak points, well...

We don't really get to indulge in banter on civvy street. People call HR, or the Police these days.

Relish that environment!

But there is a definite line to be drawn. Everyone knows where it is. You know it.

It doesn't take much for banter to turn in to malicious BS.

So I let my guard down about something. And you won't let me forget it. Banter.

But I let you in to a deep part of my soul about how my sibling/parent died from a terrible disease. And you make fun of this?

Raise the bar. Bring it on. Be ******* merciless, relentless. But there is a place you don't go. And everyone knows where that is.

It's one thing to build character in a man.

It's another thing to just crush him for your own petty wants.


Those that are bullied come to hate their would be masters.

But I'd walk over hot coals not to let down the man that gives me a chance. That leads by example. Unquestioning. If you give respect to people, they tend to give it back.

All great leaders know this.
So racial abus6is character-buikding and therefore acceptable?
 
I have always thought the line is crossed where the person on the receiving end makes clear, that they are not happy anymore to be a butt of a joke and don't have the right to ignore the moron, either because they are physically intimidated, or lower on the social hierarchical structure to preclude them from striking said irritating presence.

Bye the bye, social media is the worst of places for this.
So the onus is on the victim to stop bullying and harassment?
 
So the onus is on the victim to stop bullying and harassment?
Of course, as the person doling out the abuse may not be aware/understand/care about the hurt and needs a stronger message to pack it in..... The difficulty, is who gets to delivers the second message, be it my left fist, my bosses boss, or other figure of authority.
 
The banter in our place is extremely brutal. We've even gone inclusive by learning certain Polish phrases!

Any sign of a problem and it stops instantly. I speak to a certain person far more strongly than the local dragon, but the intent behind a comment makes the difference.

Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk
 
If he didn't have the moral courage and strength to put up with banter and piss taking from his mates, then where did he get the moral strength to become a Company Colour Sergeant? Some of the strongest characters that I knew in the army held that rank.
The world has moved on for the better since those days.

The attitude of people like you belongs in the past.
 
It can be. I've been subjected to racial abuse in the form of banter, and taken it in the good natured spirit it was intended.

I've also been subjected to racial abuse intended as abuse.

There is a difference. And yes, the difference shows.

What he said, and to add, as the only Jewish bloke in 4 of the 5 regiments I served in, you can imagine the agro I had to occasionally encounter, still here, no lasting effects, no mental breakdowns, and certainly no litigation. Its far easier these days to fall back on new legislation, and shyster lawyers, that standing up to the dipsticks, its the soft option. The easy way out, no bloody backbone some folk!
 

windswept398

Old-Salt
I joined the Army in 1987 and I cringe now when I look back at some of the stuff that went on. I remember we were often summoned into the office by our troop staff by having your name screamed loudly down the corridor but the one solitary black recruit in my intake never was... they'd summon him out of his room by banging on the bottom of the metal waste paper bin like the jungle drums.
That's the army I remember! Too many bleeding hearts these days.
 

Awol

LE
Any physical characteristic that is outside the norm has always been the subject of banter and good natured ribbing in the forces. The reason why skin colour should be dealt with any differently than say huge ears or a massive nose escapes me. Coloured peoples' rights are protected by law, and have been for nearly fifty years so they are not disadvantaged in society to any measurable degree; the slave trade ended two hundred years ago and Britain played a major part in ensuring it stayed that way, so history is not a reason either.

These coloured people are, and have been for a very long time, protected and valued members of our society, which is why I consider complaints that specify a whole unit was racist to an individual probably spurious, and most likely fuelled to some extent by the possibility of substantial compensation.

Especially when the individual concerned waited until his thirty year career was over before he complained about it.
 

overopensights

ADC
Book Reviewer
The world has moved on for the better since those days.

The attitude of people like you belongs in the past.
You Bravo are not fit to lick the boots of the men that I knew, so please don't lower the tone to discuss them!
 
You Bravo are not fit to lick the boots of the men that I knew, so please don't lower the tone to discuss them!
Your views belong in the past.

You're a bit of a racist, judging by what I've seen of your posts.

I'm not discussing the boots of the men you knew, either. Just pointing out that your views belong in the past.
 
The reason why skin colour should be dealt with any differently than say huge ears or a massive nose escapes me.
Interesting comment...
 
Any physical characteristic that is outside the norm has always been the subject of banter and good natured ribbing in the forces. The reason why skin colour should be dealt with any differently than say huge ears or a massive nose escapes me.
Brian walt.

Very apposite - a good case of banter not being appreciated by the recipient.

 
There's only so much piss taking anyone can take before breaking down mentally.....no matter where.

It's a bit of fun initially, of course, but having to deal with it day in and day out, you say f-k them. That's not "banter," that really is harassment.

Good luck trying to do that in the modern work place.
 

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