The 'Them' Clan

#1
Feel free to slag it off.
I did this without anybody's permission so you know they'll love it.
Also - If I got shit wrong, tell me and I'll change it. I made it all up anyway because I'm ******* bored.




WHISKEY EIGHT ZERO


Rarely seen photo of W-8-0 members hard at work. Identities protected.
Operates under the alias 'Them' when on operations



Description: A ragtag group of semi-superheroes recruited from the bowels of ARRSE itself, this team is suited to dangerous and inclandestine operations of the extreme variety. They are well known for their ability to fight whilst intoxicated and their viscious demeanour has earned them a potent reputation as a bunch of crybabys who spit the dummy as soon as their enemy uses a weapon system that has been legally deemed 'unfair'.

Active When: Usually around 2130hours on weekday nights. Provided that their commanding officers have given them permission to do so or whether or not they feel the need to extend their social lives.


MEMBER PROFILES

Name/Nickname: Ritchie ("Dick")

Gamertag: TheInsaneNutter

ARRSE name: Ritch

Rank: Lance Corporal

Age: Early to mid 20s

Ethnicity: Steelie

Primary Skills: 'Tactical Holding', Outdoorsmanship and Close Air Support

Job Role: Team Leader and Tent-Setter-Upper

Profile: Ritch is the designated patrol commander of W-8-0 despite always disappearing at ten o clock, claiming that he has to visit the hospital in the early hours of the morning for his daily methodone dosage. He is well known for his ability to stand in one area, consecutively kill the enemy one at a time with a weapon laced with 'Stopping Power'. Little is known about Ritch's military history although secret documents pertaining to his 'cybernetic leg implants' have often been discussed. His level headed and soft-spoken nature make him a vital asset on the field as he prevents the other patrol members from whinging too much. His nickname, "Dick", is awarded to him as it is the name that his squadmates often call him when he finishes a mission with 30-40 kills.


Name/Nickname: Neil ("Jock")

Gamertag: MrNeil20

ARRSE name: Your_Mums_Pal

Rank: Sapper

Age: Believed to be anywhere from mid 40s to 60s

Ethnicity: Weegie

Primary Skills: Silenced Weapons, Swearing and Chain Smoking

Job Role: Team 2/ic and Sentry Gun Engineer

Profile: Neil often claims to be the 2/ic of W-8-0 despite being the most absent team member and nobody ever agreeing that he should be second in command. He is legendary for crawling around the map unseen by the enemy and his excessive use of minor explosives such as claymores and C4 charges. Neil spends much of his operational time smoking Mayfair cigarettes and championing his swearing ability whenever anybody uses a weapon more powerful than his personally modified plastic BB Gun (also known as the silenced ACR). He claims to be in his early 20s and to have TA experience but both claims have been refuted due to the fact that he acts like a middle aged man and that he is too fat to ever have been associated with the British Army.


Name/Nickname: Ian ("Old Man")

Gamertag: FourEM

ARRSE name: FourEM

Rank: -UNKNOWN-

Age: Old Age Pensioner

Ethnicity: Yorkie

Primary Skills: 'Rushing', Killstreak Guidance and Chuckling

Job Role: Close Quarters Expert and Intelligence Analyst

Profile: A former alcoholic, Ian is the most mysterious member of the squad and is difficult to define. He claims to have fathered children and to have a qualification in 'scuba diving' (whatever the **** that is) but is generally cheerful unless on active operations. His preferred fighting style involves running blindly towards the enemy and drawing Predator Missiles away from the rest of the team. He will often be found using the Tar-21 and other close range weapons, which all fire bubbles instead of bullets. He is the only war veteran amongst the group, having fought valiantly in the Mess Tent during Operation Desert Storm in the early 90s. Ian is known to suffer from Attention Defecit Disorder and often refuses to follow orders. He will typically risk his life by needlessly braving enemy fire despite the squad demanding that he stay still.


Name/Nickname: Marcus ("Kenny")

Gamertag: AlphaK3nnyThing

ARRSE name: AlphaKennyThing

Rank: Signaller

Age: Early to mid 20s

Ethnicity: Cockney

Primary Skills: Sharp-shooting, Cracking Jokes and Drinking

Job Role: Team Sniper and NIG (new-in-green)

Profile: Marcus has recently made himself useful as the Team Sniper despite initially not having a clue how to play the game effectively. One evening, he decided to pick up a FAMAS (French and made ae' shite) assault rifle and discovered he had a penchant for knocking down targets at long range. He is known for his 'Big Brother Impersonations' and his ability to fight successfully despite knocking back plenty of units of alcohol before operations. He is the only squad member who is currently active in the British Army and will be ruining his life at the end of the month with a trip to Pirbright. Possibly the funniest member of the squad, he is a comedian at heart. Nobody ever knows whether to call him 'Marcus' or 'Kenny'. Unfortunately, Marcus was recently heart-broken following a messy break up with an Austrian super model who was disappointed that he had chosen Signals as a career path. This break up has resulted in Marcus' turn to alcohol for moral support when off-operations.
 
#4
That's the problem with letting kids on ARRSE.
 
#5
Slow night at the rat infested weegie travel tavern?
 
#6
Haha! Cheers Neil... I think. =-D
 

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