the squadron bar

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by shortfuse, Oct 5, 2004.

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  1. do you ever miss being in a place where absolutely anything goes , no matter how vile and absurd it's looked on as "the norm"
    incontinence nights where you had to turn up in your waterproof trousers , and weren't allowed to leave till the end , after flooding the place with p*ss
    (needed some zinc ream the day after though)
    the stitch ups , the wind ups , the downright freaky (once saw a bloke pin his foreskin to the bar with a big f*ck off map pin and lean back to see how far it would stretch) i've seen dwarf tossing ,birds hancuffed over tables to be nailed by all and sundry (only to be swapped with another squadron for 2 crates) fires , sh*t , lunacy , vomit a plenty ..... aaah the good old days.
    anyone got any good old fashioned mentalness to share ??

    tends not to go down to well in the local to be honest :roll:
  2. Try not to be too descriptive! The CID may come sniffing around for statements... 8O
  3. Ahhh. The Sqn bar was always the centre of a units' social life. With drawdown and the removal of many units to the UK sadly they are rapidly becoming a thing of the past. At least with a unit bar it kept all the animals in one place and the bosses knew where everyone was!!
  4. Have seen a C/Sgt sew his eyelids and 4skin up, the dance of the flaming arrse hole. a young agc girl treated like a bowlling ball...picked up fingered and trhown to the next person...and my fave the gorgeous young medic that doled out bj's for 50p :twisted:
  5. Our duty barman was a mad Jock bassa, one of his favourite stunts was, on opening the bar, he would grab an ice-cube from the ice-bucket, rub it round his clipper-muscle, then pop it back in the bucket with the query, "Wonder who gets the lucky ice-cube tonight?" - I'm glad I drank beer (But I never did find out what he might have done with the glasses!) 8O
  6. We're busy building the bar after two moves. Lost the 'crating' list. Anybody got one they'd like to share?
  7. Worst scene I witnessed in a sqn bar was in Aldershot a few years ago ;
    A length of para cord with knots tied up it's length to represent "lurrve beads" was crudely constructed. Afore mentioned para cord was then inserted into the lucky recepients a - hole, removed with a swift tug then passed around the mouths of other lucky recepients to chew on and savour the flavour of lower intestinal bacteria. Oh, how I did laugh.......moments before projectile vomiting! :oops:
  8. we used to have a little "welcome" to the squadron , which innocently enough involved eating a bag of crisps , and downing a can in one , i say "welcome" as opposed to "initiation" because everyone from the OC down had to do it not just the NIGs , i got drawn against our new troopy , well i've opened this bag , and the f*cking smell hit me like peeling the draws off a dead bag lady , if there were actually ANY crisps in there i would be amazed , and i'm reasonably confident at least one person had chundered in it , as well as the contents of ashtrays , dockers omlettes etc.
    so i start necking this thing , and as fast as i'm chucking it in , my body is saying "f*ck RIGHT off " and hurling it back in the bag , to be reconsumed obviously !!!!!
    i've never looked forward to a can of cider more in my life ,and i f*cking despise the stuff but by the time 6 of us had done our crisps , the bar looked like an explosion in an abbatoir , the orderly officer walked in on his rounds , took one look around and parked a tiger himself , i cant see walkers picking it up as they're next advertising campaign , but i wouldn't mind seeing that jug eared cnut lineker tucking into one of the new "squadron bar range". :)
  9. How many times have we all been into the Sqn/Tp/Coy etc bar for a quick one after work on a Friday and finally left in time for brekkie on Saturday morning? I still have vague memories of one of these sessions which also included shagging two teachers and attempting - but being too pis5ed - to shag a QA as well. Oh the happy memories :D
    • Disagree Disagree x 1
  10. Fukkin thanks! Was just innocently eating my lunch and strated reading this thread.....bloody costs my £4 for this poxy sandwich and now i cant eat the fuker. :?
  11. got any crisps?
  12. Eugh - no i bloody have NOT! Remind me never to accept any from you lot though :wink:
  13. I remember seeing charlie our squadron barman trudging up the stairs on a friday , like a man going to the scaffold , with his washing and shaving kit under his arm ..... poor f*cker used to be in there till sunday night and used to shave in the glass sink , never had the misfortune to do it myself.
    i've been a brickes labourer , and a plasterers labourer , but i wouldn't want to be a boozers labourer. :wink:
  14. Don't try the peanuts, either!
  15. I never, ever saw a poor unit barman in Germany. 6 months in the bar could almost double your wage if run correctly.
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