Is it me or has the majority of the UK population gone into slow motion since the recession kicked in? Entering Morrisons this afternoon, I was confronted by zombie-paced fucktards bimbling along the aisles at the same speed a vertigo sufferer approaches the white cliffs of Dover. At first I presumed the fat cunt pushing the trolley like a walking frame was the exception; but on passing the spastics queueing for their fags it appeared that everyone had caught this lethargy. I admit that when the third retard got in my way I had resorted to strong language and mild violence (pushing trolleys out of the way and shoulder barging my way to the untypically busy salad section). Quite how I managed to not windmill through the dross, ankle kicking the fatties out of my way, remains a mystery to me. Anyone else noticed that it isn't just the chronically obese now walking in slow motion, or am I entering the grumpy cunt stage in my life?