The snip

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by babiesarm, Jan 25, 2006.

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  1. Mrs Babiesarm has just had our second baby, it would appear that two is her limit, I would like another couple.

    Anyway, baby number 2 is 12 weeks old now and I have only managed to do the deed once with her since the birth. Mrs Arm is reluctant, claiming she is still smarting from when the little bugger was pushed out, requiring her to have several stitches!

    Anyway, she is terrified that when we get back to regular sex that she will be up the duff again in a flash and so has started talking about sending me off for the snip. I am not against this idea as long as it means I will be shagging again on a regular basis.

    Following on from a few comments in the shaving your balls thread, I would be interested to hear of stories from other Arrse users who have gone through with the snip, any tips, recommendations etc.

    How long is the op, pain afterwards etc etc.
  2. Not had it myself fella, but I am in the same position as yourself. Second youth on the weg and my old lady has said no more tupping until I get the snip.
    So I have signed up for a subscription to the following magazines- 40 plus, private, fast bikes, guns and ammo, and pro-bull rider. Let's face it, as the old saying goes, sex is alright but you can't beat the real thing.
    You could always try prostitutes, remember you're not paying them for sex, you're paying them to P1ss off afterwards.
  3. Listen to yourselves! Remember the immortal words of Mr T; 'I aint gettin' no snip!' and the constant classic 'I pity the fool, who snip his go-nads'. Need I say more?
  4. How long is the op? In my case I walked in to the place at 11:00 and was back in the car again at 11:15. The 15 minutes included undressing, dressing, signing the cheque and of course the op itself. Not in that order though; that would have been just silly.

    Pain afterwards: none really, more an initial numbness followed by increasing tendency to walk like John Wayne with a bad case of Farmer Giles.

    Tips: for a while after don't ride a bike, cross your legs quickly, or use a fire extinguisher. (In case you follow the instructions too literally.)
  5. Just sumthing about 'an equal relationship' or similar b*llocks. If not, you can always get a reversal. Of course that depends on whether you want more kids, or are planning on another relationaship...
  6. Its totally painless, whats this about handing over a cheque? If you get it on the NHS it's free (just come up with some viable bs) and normally can be done at your own docs surgery, I thing it cost about 2 quid for the prescription which was 3 tablets, 2 were Valium, can't remember the other tho. It takes as has been said about 15 mins and you just feel a tugging down there, nothing uncomfortable. They do provide you with a nice padded jockstrap as well to wear for a week after so unless you are Big Johnny Holmes, find the old pair of cycling shorts and take a stroll down the high st, to prove that cos you can't do the baby bit don't mean you are still not King Dingaling Mike Lowry ! lol
  7. Hmm..tricky one, this...........some years ago, GOM had the perverse pleasure of a RAMC half-Colonel rooting around in his lower areas as said orcifer was carrying the op.

    Points to Note:

    1. Walk in - stumble out, with legs akimbo.

    2. Upside - getting the missus to help you produce the test substance a couple of weeks later to see if there are still any swimmers........hmmmm.

    3. Downside - RAMC knobber fiddling about in your groin when he cannot find the tube. DO NOT LOOK DOWN AT THIS STAGE as vomit will ensue.

    4. Nuts like Dumbo's for 2-3 days afterwards. V tender.........also, do not let the family Spaniel carry out his usual Meeting Engagement on the subject area as the Spaniel cannot understand why you are trying to brain him with your 3-year old daughter.
  8. I got mine done, and can recommend it...

    I had the 'scalpel-less' version, where the doc injects your nuts with a local, then uses a tool similar to a ball point pen to poke a hole in your scrote....The other end of this tool is like a crochet hook and is used to snag your 'tubes...once they're dragged out thru the small hole, they're snipped, and you have metal clips like the kind used to hold new socks together used to seal the open ends...

    The whole lot is stuffed back in thru the hole, an elasto-plast is applied, and you're warned not to do too much for a day or two....Needless to say, I was 'busy trying to flush the tadpoles from me system' a couple of hours later!!

    The op wasnt painful in the least, and I had the opportunity to take some pics..... The worst part of the whole thing was the following weeks when the sharp edges of the clips caught against a nut, but apparantly scar tissue forms over them, and rounds the ends off....

    Funny story precedes this....was told by doc that I'd have to shave my nuts, and because i thought i'd be a smart arrse, and didnt fancy the itching decided to use immac....spread the stuff on liberally, then watched in horror as blisters formed on my scrote almost instantly.....scrubbed it off in the shower, losing most of the hair on my legs in the process and decided after a day or two to wax.....Bought some wax strips, applied them and ripped em off.....but found no hair had come away....managed to stick my ballsac to the chair i was sat on tho.....Finally decided to shave (Bah...) but found that razor stuck to the wax that I hadnt properly ended up at docs with chemical burns, blisters and cuts/scrapes....Ouch!!!
  9. I didn't go NHS - too long a waiting list. Should have made that clear.

    For the same reason, no jock strap either. The process was a bloody (not literally) efficient way of making money.
  10. The way that MicknDarcyJo had it done is in fact the way of doing it, if you are military you can just go and see the MO at your Med Centre and tell him/her what youre after. All you need then is Mrs Babiesarm to sign a consent form (they wont do it without you both consenting!!) and bobs your uncle, join the never ending NHS waiting list, at some point close to the end of your natural life youll hop on the trolley (possibly in a side room of a ward) or on the table in theatre, slash slash, burn burn, hook, pull, tie, snip, snip, hook, pull, tie, snip, snip, suture, spray dressing, scrotal support, bye bye.
  11. well heres my tale

    Had the op done in Dorchester on the NHS.
    Walked in striped off had a rather nice young nurse turn up to prep the area asked if i wanted any help to shave the said area.
    To which i declined as the last thing i wanted was a stiff d*ck went in op done in 10 mins walked out after 20 mins recoup straight to the pub for a pint.

    Went home to wife next day and was straight on the job no pain or swelling, 3 samples later i get the all clear wife happy back to sex 4 times a weekend me happy.

    4 years later all is ok no more kids and loads of late night fumbles.

    And on the plus side wife has lost a stone and a half since coming off the pill.
  12. Like you babiesarm we had our daughter and then about a few weeks later my wife fell pregnant again with our son. I was chuffed to bits another 9 months of free taxis to the mess and pubs etc. Wife was not too happy though, one day she decided while we were in Germany we should go out for the day and that I would drive ok. I asked where we were going she told me it's a surprise ohhh I like surprises. Half an hour later we pull into a carpark that looked remarkably like a clinic of sorts. I asked "where are we" she replied "I have booked you in for the snip your appointment is in 10 mins....................oh?

    Went in to the waiting room a couple of other squaddies had also had the same idea to go private with a German clinic for the cost of 100DM. It came to my turn in I go ah Mr xxxx please put get undressed and put this gown on. Now lay on the table, lifts up gown in walks nurse, sheet with square hole in it placed on genitals willy shrivels up because it knows it's in for pain. Doctor shaves balls, sprays on some after shave stuff, stings like fick out comes a fick off needle with the local in it, doctor says this will sting a bit as he stabs it into ones sack. Takes effect and he continues to open sack with scalpel. A few tugs and it feels like he is squeezing your ball really hard while he grapples with your tubes, and he says you can sit up and watch if you like Mr xxxx like fick. On completion of the squeezing sensation on one ball he says thats it now the other side uuggghhhhhhhh. The whole procedure lasted 30 mins, stitches in jock strap on NEXT..........

    Stitches come out after about 10 days then the fun starts you have to wank yourself silly or get your wife to do it and save your spermatuzzons in a tube and it's off to the Med centre to check they are clear. You have to do 3 tests but wank about 40 ooohhhhh.

    Well babiesarm hope thats enough info for you, my advice go private and get a general

    Good luck

  13. The definition of a complete b@stard is a man who doesn't tell his wife he's had the snip until after she falls pregnant.
  14. AlienFTM

    AlienFTM LE Book Reviewer

    It's over 20 years since but here's my two penn'orth.

    I became aware of a number of people walking into my office walking a la John Wayne. When the unit 2IC walked in, I accused him of having the snip and he confessed. I was in the zone so I asked about it. It was general consensus that the local (Osnabruck) Paracelsus Clinic was far better than the hands of Army butchers, though the Army's after care would be fine.

    I coughed up about DM400 (I think I still have the receipt somewhere: "Zur Durchsnitt der Sämenleiter erlaube ich ..."), took counselling from them (and from the RMO: "What'll you do if your child dies? It'll be difficult having another." "Marm, if one of my children were to die, 'having another' would not make up for the death of a loved one: it isn't like replacing a dead car on the insurance you know!!!")

    Walked in on the day in question. Was premedded. Was loaded into the stirrups. Was tied into the leather armrests. Was advised I might have more local anaesthetic if necessary. Vowed not to have any more anaesthetic, since I was a British Soldier and former armoured vehicle commander in a Reconnaissance Regiment and pain was all about Mind Over Matter.

    The Herr Professor-Doktor of Genito-urinolgy and his assistant got stuck in on the other side of the screen. I believe it was his assistant who did the necessary shaving: I couldn't see her. I believe they short-changed me on the anaesthetic but being a hard bastard and as mentioned a British Soldier in a German clinic, I merely flinched.

    Shortly thereafter, the assistant came round the screen. I swear while she had been out of sight she had changed into SS uniform including jackboots. "For you, Herr Alien, ze childbearing Days are over." And in her hand was a pair of tweezers holding an inch or so of wiggling, overcooked spaghetti.

    Patched up, I marched back to the car, absolutely deteremined there be none of this John Wayne rubbish. We drove back to the quarter and I went to bed for a couple of hours. Got up, changed ready and drove to Belfast Barracks to meet a bus taking all Garrison Pay Services personnel to a Divisional dinner-dance at HQ ! Armd Div at Verden.

    Whilst awaiting the bus, others (including the OC Bus, a Major) remarked at my sitting gingerly and was I okay? When I pointed out to them that I had been under the knife a couple of hours earlier (cough, make snip motions with fingers) but they weren't going to keep me from a free piss-up, I got a standing ovation.

    Had to avoid the alcohol (bugger) and popped the maximum allowable painkillers but had a thoroughly good evening. Had a week's leave and it was a total breeze.

    Only way the neighbours even suspected was when I got home and marched through the gate. Everybody KNEW I JUMPED the gate.