I do appologise for appearing to be a mong of the highest order. That top bloke Flash has helped me out by removing the 30 other posts I put up. I will now go and remove my genitalia with a warm house brick.
Dear Mr S Wire,
We have recently heard that you are attracting a great deal of harrassment for 'coming out of the closet'. May we pass our most sincere congratulations on your lifestyle choice.
As a serving member of HM Forces, you will already be aware that you stand a far improved chance of promotion if you belong to a fringe group. Clearly, now that you are a raving bender, your promotion to Brigadier is virtually assured.
May we suggest that you change your gender and skin colour? We are offering very good odds on your being promoted to Lt General if you declare yourself as a black lesbian (preferably a single parent - we can arrange adoption on very good terms).
All the best with your new life - MC and Flash are loving being homos, apparently.
PS BBC will most definitely never be a Mod - she's straight, for a start.