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The Scotsman in South Africa

#1
A Scotsman - ex-serviceman who has just finished his tour of duty in Iraq - goes on holiday to South Africa. Not understanding Afrikaans (the language) he looks around for some entertainment in the evening in the upmarket area of Johannesburg. Eventually he spots that there is going to be a performance of excerpts from a Wagnerian Opera. Having only ever heard opera once before, and fancying the singer, Katherine Jenkins, he decides that the lead singer might be nice like her!

He is not disappointed. He is absolutely amazed by the lead singer. This beautiful, curvaceous blonde Afrikaans girl. Her chest heaves and being a tit man it makes him fancy her more than ever. The music of Wagner enthralls him. By God he says to himself, this girl is better than Katherine was when she was starring in Iraq. The audience at the end decide to ask for an encore, and in Afrikaan's shout out: "Hoor, Hoor" which in their language means 'More, More!"...

The Scotsman, by now slightly pissed on Dutch beer, completely misunderstands their call, interpreting it like it sounds. He staggers to his feet, raises his glass and shouts out in a broad Highland accent:

"Och man! Whore or no fucking Whore..., she's got to sing it again!"
 

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