The Scarey One

It's TSO's birthday today. She revels in her Arrse reputation for being a mong and quite likes the rather strange attention she gets.

Please wish her a happy birthday and I'll read them to her s l o w l y.

Thanks in advance.

Do you really want to go down that route?

Reminding her that she is yet a year older? Not looking as young as she did yesterday!

Soon you'll be taking her to a car dealership to get her use to the idea of trading in for a younger model!

Just remember when she requires a walking stick add a 2p to the bottom every week to give her the impression she is shrinking. Just be mindful she does not notice and smack you around the noggin with it when it's going to cause most pain.

Other than that happy birthday to her.

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