The S-word

#3
Good to see some of ARRSE's favourite words come 3 & 4 in the list of ten worst words!
 
#5
Did anyone see Dalziel and Pascoe last night? A small part of the episode was given to the use of pc in the workplace, and I was glad to see that Dalziel didn't have any of it.

So is spav like spiv? If it is, I don't think they'll be letting me play in the masters next year.
 
#7
"My boyfriend uses this phrase - it seems to be the 'new thing' to say where he works! It really offends me and I have to keep moaning at him. I have a lot of disabled friends, and this phrase just implies that all disabled people are put into 'special buses' to be taken to places - and that all disabled people are only capable of 'window-licking' because they do not have the mental capacity to act any differently. Arrrgghh! It makes me so angry ... and anyway, what is so wrong with window-licking?"


Taken directly from the site - any of you lot responsible for this gem? :lol:
 
#8
Really kind of them to include the "top ten":

1. Retard
2. Spastic
3. Window-licker
4. Mong
5. Special
6. Brave
7. Cripple
8. Psycho
9. Handicapped
10. Wheelchair-bound

:)
 
#9
what about the perennial favourite "JOEY" :?: :?: :?: :?:
 
#10
remember sticking your tongue under your bottom lip and making MLAAAAR noises or is that just me?
 
#11
MSI64 said:
remember sticking your tongue under your bottom lip and making MLAAAAR noises or is that just me?
I recall it being accompanied by a dance.
 
#14
As 'spaz' is no longer an acceptable term to describe someone who is 'mentally challenged', surely it would be wasteful for us not to use it as an insult?

Ditto for the rest of Dread's top ten, otherwise we will be losing a part of our language and heritage forever...
 
#15
chris951 said:
Good to see some of ARRSE's favourite words come 3 & 4 in the list of ten worst words!
Although it does mean that there's clearly room for improvement. Time to double your efforts, chaps.

Where's "Spakker"?
 
#16
ARE YOU AUSTRALIAN?
1. What did your ancestors do for a living? a) They were farmers. b) Craftsmen who made a living with their hands. c) Robbers, rapists, pickpockets, horse-thieves and generally a right lawless shower of b*stards.

2. How do you view the cause of the Aborigines and other indigenous folk? a) They have a just cause and rights just like everyone else. b) They should be given their land rights back immediately. c) F*ck 'em. Black b*stards. We were here first. It's in all the history books cos we wrote 'em and we should know. Cheeky freeloading ni**er c*nts.

.3The Royal Family is visiting your country and you are the Prime Minister. How do you behave to show them how respectful you are? a) With all the proper dignity that she deserves in her position as Head of the Commonwealth. b) With respect, but without being too sycophantic about it. You can show respect in lots of different ways. c) Slap her on the back at the airport and go: "Har ya doin', Sheila? G'day, mate. Dinkum, sport." Fart, burp, scratch your f*cking arse and behave like a complete twat all through her visit because you couldn't give a f*ck. Who the f*ck is she anyway?

6. You go to the toilet and sit down. What happens next? a) Well, what would you expect? b) That's a bit of a personal question. c) You get bitten on the arse by a spider three-foot long, your balls drop off, your arse turns green and you die within ten seconds.

8. What do you watch on television in an average day? a) Varied and of high quality - drama, comedy, documentaries, news. b) Pretty basic stuff but a decent and varied mix. c) Skippy, Neighbours, Home & Away, Skippy, Bluey, Skippy again, Prisoner Cell Block f*cking H, Skippy a-f*cking-gain, Neighbours, Home & b*stard Away, Skippy, Skippy, Skippy and f*cking Skippy.

11. You are a famous rock star married to a beautiful wife and with millions of dollars to your name. You are at a loose end one day. What do you do to occupy yourself? a) Relax with a few tinnies of Fosters, chilling because you rarely get much time to yourself. b) Play a little music or watch some TV. c) Take loads of drugs and get pissed as a fart, then accidentally strangle yourself by hanging your sorry arse from a door with a leather belt. While having a wank. You dirty f*cking pervy c*nt.

18. What animal is the symbol of your country? a) A bald eagle - majestic and towering, powerful and commanding respect. b) A bulldog - tenacious, fearless, strong and solid. c) Some f*cking rat with a beak, flippers, a face like a mole and that swims underwater. And lays eggs! I mean, for f*ck's sake! What the c*nting hell is that supposed to be? F*cking freak.

20. Describe the way you talk, your accent and so forth. a) Very clear and precise. You'd say you were able to communicate pretty easily. b) With a hint of accent though not much. You are pretty good at communicating. c) Like a deaf cockney with cerebral palsy who's drunk twenty pints of Carlsberg Special and a bottle of meths. You incoherent, slavering slobbering twat. Imagine Stephen Hawking powered down and crossed with Bob Hoskins...well, that's what you sound like. How the Brits ever mutated into you shower of braindead, imbecilic c*nts is beyond me. We should have sent you to the f*cking Antarctic instead. F*ckers.

23. You have an Aborigine visiting your home. How do you make the right impression on him? a) Make him feel at home just as you would any visitor to your house. b) Make an extra special effort to make him feel welcome because you feel for the plight of their people. c) Crack a few tinnies but make sure the c*nt drinks out of an old boot because you don't want him spreading germs. Make him some sandwiches full of maggots and grubs because that's what the filthy f*ckers eat, and hire a copy of 'Romper Stomper' which you watch with him farting and saying things like: "No offence, mate, but we were here first. That's what you'll get as well if you ever get out of line." :D
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#18
I think that what expat_71 was trying to convey was this:
expat_71 said:
ARE YOU AUSTRALIAN?

1. What did your ancestors do for a living?

a) They were farmers.
b) Craftsmen who made a living with their hands.
c) Robbers, rapists, pickpockets, horse-thieves and generally a right lawless shower of b*stards.

2. How do you view the cause of the Aborigines and other indigenous folk?

a) They have a just cause and rights just like everyone else.
b) They should be given their land rights back immediately.
c) F*ck 'em. Black b*stards. We were here first. It's in all the history books cos we wrote 'em and we should know. Cheeky freeloading ni**er c*nts.

3. A member of the British Royal Family is visiting your country and you are the Prime Minister. How do you behave to show them how respectful you are?

a) With all the proper dignity that she deserves in her position as Head of the Commonwealth.
b) With respect, but without being too sycophantic about it. You can show respect in lots of different ways.
c) Slap her on the back at the airport and go: "Har ya doin', Sheila? G'day, mate. Dinkum, sport." Fart, burp, scratch your f*cking arse and behave like a complete t**t all through her visit because you couldn't give a f*ck. Who the f*ck is she anyway?

4. Your national cricket team is beaten by the West Indies, hammered 5-0 in a test series. How do you show grace in defeat?

a) By saying how great they must have played to beat you.
b) By telling the world you are proud to have been beaten by such a great side.
c) Black b*stards. Fixed. What can you do when the f*cking umpire's a spear-chucker as well? C*nts.

5. Your national cricket team beats the West Indies 5-0 in a test series. How do you show grace in victory?

a) By saying you must have played brilliantly to beat one of the greatest sides in the world.
b) By telling the world you are proud to have won and that it was closer than the scores suggest.
c) Black b*stards. F*cking s*it they were. Whoever said coons could play cricket must have been f*cking drunk, mate.

6. You go to the toilet and sit down. What happens next?

a) Well, what would you expect?
b) That's a bit of a personal question.
c) You get bitten on the arse by a spider three-foot long, your balls drop off, your arse turns green and you die within ten seconds.

7. Describe your bathroom.

a) A posh en suite affair with brass taps and trimmings, bath, toilet, bidet, jacuzzi, the lot.
b) Just a basic bathroom and matching toilet.
c) A wooden shack the size of a broom cupboard with a tin mop bucket on the f*cking floor and flies buzzing round three-week-old turds. You dirty smelly t**t.

8. What do you watch on television in an average day?

a) Varied and of high quality - drama, comedy, documentaries, news.
b) Pretty basic stuff but a decent and varied mix.
c) Skippy, Neighbours, Home & Away, Skippy, Bluey, Skippy again, Prisoner Cell Block f*cking H, Skippy a-f*cking-gain, Neighbours, Home & b*stard Away, Skippy, Skippy, Skippy and f*cking Skippy.

9. Describe your country's version of football.

a) The same as football around the world.
b) A different game altogether - more like rugby and with lots of razzamatazz and glitz. More of a show business affair than a sport.
c) A load of * animals in vests and tight shorts knocking b*stard lumps of each other, punching the ref, eating one another's faces and generally waging war for an hour and a half while no c*nt knows what the f*ck is going on.

10. Who is your greatest international star?

a) A Hollywood screen legend.
b) A world famous rock star.
c) Some irritating * with a beard and glasses who paints * stupid pictures, blows his didgeri-f*cking-doo and sings "I'm Jake the Peg diddle diddle diddle dum." The big soft c*nt.

11. You are a famous rock star married to a beautiful wife and with millions of dollars to your name. You are at a loose end one day. What do you do to occupy yourself?

a) Relax with a few tinnies of Fosters, chilling because you rarely get much time to yourself.
b) Play a little music or watch some TV.
c) Take loads of drugs and get pissed as a fart, then accidentally strangle yourself by hanging your sorry arse from a door with a leather belt. While having a *. You dirty f*cking pervy c*nt.

12. What is your idea of fashion or looking good?

a) Designer dressware of the highest quality.
b) Just wearing the right things for what suits you.
c) A shitty old hat with fatherless corks hanging from it.

13. What do you do for a living?

a) Work hard all day, six days a week, to earn money to live in relative comfort.
b) Work quite hard, but you have people under you to take some of the work load.
c) F*ck all. Just sit on your arse on the beach all day eyeing up women and drinking urine lager while catching skin cancer. You f*cking bone idle t**t.

14. Why are there so many flies where you live?

a) Because the weather is so hot.
b) You don't know. You've never really noticed.
c) Because you f*cking smell, you sweaty b*stard. You even let the dirty disease-spreading f*ckers fly into your mouth and do nothing about it. I've seen you on telly, you filthy shower of c*nts.

15. How did your ancestors arrive in your country?

a) By boat.
b) By plane.
c) In chains.

16. You are a blonde-haired singer who's probably as bent as a nine-bob note, you queer-arsed f*ck. But you are outraged when a magazine suggests as much. What do you do?

a) Nothing. Ignore it because you know the truth about your own sexuality.
b) Send the magazine a stern solicitor's letter warning them not to say such things again.
c) Sue the b*stards and make a f*cking big song and dance about it just to show how straight and normal you are. You're not queer. Are you f*ck, and you'll sue any c*nt who says you are. Queer? You? No f*cking chance. You've shagged Kylie Minogue you have...er...nearly. You're as straight as f*ck, you are, even though you've appeared in gay porn films and been caught shagging blokes. You lying bent b*stard.

17. Your country is a beautiful place and there are many visitors, mainly young girls on back-packing holidays. What can they expect from your country?

a) Beautiful scenery, amazing wildlife, wonderful climate. Everything really.
b) Whatever they would want is here for them - to suit all needs.
c) Some f*cking twisted c*nt to grab them off the road in his pick-up truck and murder them in horrific ways. And * on their corpses. The t**t.

18. What animal is the symbol of your country?

a) A bald eagle - majestic and towering, powerful and commanding respect.
b) A bulldog - tenacious, fearless, strong and solid.
c) Some f*cking rat with a beak, flippers, a face like a mole and that swims underwater. And lays eggs! I mean, for f*ck's sake! What the c*nting hell is that supposed to be? F*cking freak.

19. You have emigrated to a foreign country and it isn't really to your liking. What do you do?

a) Nothing. There's nothing you can do apart from make the best of the situation and hope that it will grow on you.
b) Try to move back to your own country whilst making the effort to get along with the place.
c) F*cking moan and fatherless whinge about how s*it it is compared to where you come from, even though they booted your arse out of there and wouldn't have you back for * all. The weather's crap and the beer's warm, and there's Pakis every-*-where, not like in your country. F*ck this. You wouldn't stop here if you didn't have to. You can't go for five minutes without spouting off to some c*nt about how much you hate the place and how great your country is. Yet you have the f*cking nerve to call us "whingeing poms". You cheeky f*cking upside down *. Go on. F*ck off.

20. Describe the way you talk, your accent and so forth.

a) Very clear and precise. You'd say you were able to communicate pretty easily.
b) With a hint of accent though not much. You are pretty good at communicating.
c) Like a deaf cockney with cerebral palsy who's drunk twenty pints of Carlsberg Special and a bottle of meths. You incoherent, slavering slobbering t**t. Imagine Stephen Hawking powered down and crossed with Bob Hoskins...well, that's what you sound like. How the Brits ever mutated into you shower of braindead, imbecilic c*nts is beyond me. We should have sent you to the f*cking Antarctic instead. F*ckers.

21. Is your name Bruce?

a) No.
b) No.
c) Yes.

22. And what is your wife's name?

a) Not Sheila.
b) Not Sheila.
c) Sheila.

23. You have an Aborigine visiting your home. How do you make the right impression on him?

a) Make him feel at home just as you would any visitor to your house.
b) Make an extra special effort to make him feel welcome because you feel for the plight of their people.
c) Crack a few tinnies but make sure the c*nt drinks out of an old boot because you don't want him spreading germs. Make him some sandwiches full of maggots and grubs because that's what the filthy f*ckers eat, and hire a copy of 'Romper Stomper' which you watch with him farting and saying things like: "No offence, mate, but we were here first. That's what you'll get as well if you ever get out of line."
Now, reading between the lines (how do you do that by the way - its just a little bit of empty page....), I get the impression that expat_71 has a problem with all things Australian, or am I jumping to conclusions here?

Edited to add: I don't understand why it's on this thread though. :?
 
#19
I would think that anybody in the disability community would see it as offensive," says Babs Johnson of National ADAPT. "It would be looked upon as someone having a fit or seizure or something like that. Body movements that you're not able to control."

Well obviously..or he wouldn't have played like a spaz :lol:
 
#20
A work colleague asked me to run a marathon "Piss off," I replied.
He persisted, though "Aww, come on, it's for spastics and blind kids."
"Fcuk it!" I thought. "I could win this."
 

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