The Rum Ration Guide to Naval Terms

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by UncleAlbert, Feb 15, 2006.

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  1. So none of you pongos will be confused by Navy terminology when visiting I have done a list
    Hope this helps.

    Aboard - A piece of lumber that may be used to repair your ship. Or something you may be asked to sleep on if you have no hammock.

    Aft - Acronym for A Fcuking Twat. This is usually your Head of Dept.

    Adrift - A method of moving across the water when nothing on your ship works. You normally do not have a lot of input as to where you are actually going, but you will get there eventually, also refers to being late for anything.

    Anchor - A mechanical device that is supposed to keep the boat in one place (see dragging). These devices are sometimes used to submerge expensive anchor lines and/or chain when used without proper termination at the inboard end.

    Astern - A type of look. Your Skipper will give you a stern look if you are ever adrift, along with 7 days nines.

    Bilge - This is a storage area in the bottom of the ship for all the things you drop and can not find. Also a mixing area for water, fuel and slime; making retrieval of said dropped items a real adventure.

    Bilge pump – A device designed to remove said crap from bilges. These devices only operate properly when you are trying to sleep or the ship is not taking in water.

    Bow – This is what you do in front of your head of dept. when asking for advice or favor. It is imperative that you learn how to do this quickly.

    Bridge - Something you cross to get to the other side of a body of water when you don’t have a boat available. Can also used for removing masts of sailing ships if the bridge is low enough.

    Buoy – A navigational aid indicating there is something worth noting somewhere close to the location of the buoy, possibly to one side or the other or below it.

    Capsize - They ask you this when you go to buy a cap.

    Chart - The nautical equivalent of a road map. One must use charts instead of road maps because road maps usually only show roads and there are usually none of those in the sea.

    Cleat – A template used to practice knot tying that allows knots to easily slip off.

    Compass – A navigational aid that accurately points to the largest metal object on your ship

    Crew - This term refers to the people working with you on your ship. They usually end up as lifelong friends or acquaintances and nowdays you should never want for anything as all navy ships carry wrens who you can sleep with.

    Deck - This is what your wife will do to you after discovering that you have been sleeping with the wrens.

    Dock - A medical professional, not sure why the term shows up in a nautical dictionary.

    Dragging - A method of moving about when the anchor is deployed (see anchor).

    GPS - An electronic device that allows you to carry out navigational errors more accurately.

    Gunwale - (pronounced "gunnel") The part of a vessel near the side used for supporting one's midsection while one is engaged in the practice of heaving.

    Hatch - A device similar in nature to a mousetrap, in that it will drop down on your head, leg or hand without warning. Also an opening for admitting water into the ship.

    Head1 - It is the part of your body that sits on top of your neck; you should not be joining a ship unless you already know this. You wiil need it to wear your cap.

    Heave - A shipboard method for eliminating breakfast when seas become rough. This is best done in proximity of a gunwale.

    Hull – The biggest part of the ship, specially designed to keep water out.

    Keel - A stopping device for your boat. It works by contacting the bottom of the water body you are in, thus inhibiting forward motion. ( for more info see Jenny_Dabber)

    Keys - These items are used for opening locks and lockers aboard your boat, firing the missiles and things of that nature. Keys can usually be found in the bilges. Also a good run ashore in Florida.

    Lee - A famous Civil War general. Also meaning away from the wind. Also a helicopter base near Pompey.

    Line – What you feed your Skipper when you are adrift.

    Mess – A term indicative of food, more indicative of the way shipboard galleys usually look.

    Overboard - A term describing the final resting-place for anything expensive, dropped while on board a ship.

    PFD - Acronym for Personal Floatation Device. This is a multifunction device normally used as a cushion, packing material or sponge. The Navy requires one for each person on board to ensure they have something soft to sit on in case standard seating is limited.

    Port – This is what you sometimes drink when you are on the ship. Also the left side of the boat, also a place where ships congregate.

    Propeller - A metal thing that looks like a fan and is attached to your main engines. Propellers typically do not have the same number of blades they came with. The propeller is a dual-purpose item. It both propels your ship through the water and also catches stray dock and rigging lines before you can go anywhere.

    Rudder - This is the device that steers your ship. The rudder is usually the first part of your boat to come off when you hit a rock.

    Rock - These are devices used to remove rudders from ships. Also what your boat does just after you fill all your glasses to the brim with port.

    Liberty boat – A boat used to convey Jolly Jack ashore so he can take liberties.

    Stern - The flat, back end, included so you have a place to paint the name of your ship. And put the white ensign. This does not apply to Isle of Wight ferrys and similar ships because they have points on both ends and you don't want to risk sounding incompetent when trying to determine which is which.

    Topsides – The part of the ship that is not in the water. Also what you should not be caught looking at if you are a married male.

    Patrol – Any boat journey long enough to require at least two separate uses of the Head, not counting the one that occurs within 10 minutes of leaving the dock.

    Wake - This event is part of a funeral and often confused with boating. Also what sailors participate in (their own) when they do not practice safe sex.

    Wave – A unique feature of water that enables it to gain entry into your ship. Also a gesture carried out with two fingers when you go on leave.


    There, now when you visit the senior service site you will understand all.
  2. :D Too much time on your hands I think!

    And you missed a few: Wets, goffers, oggin. All confusing to us non salty types :wink:
  3. Do you not think it would be better if you put this thread in RumRation? Lets be honest, the only reason you got your own site is in the hope you will all fcuk off and stay there.
  4. Well Biscuits as you ask nicely

    A wet is a drink of someone’s rum but it can either be a gulper or a sipper

    See when you did someone a favour he would call you round to his mess at tot time, tradition was he would give you a gulper then everyone on the mess gave you a sipper. So you knew that if you were called round the afternoon would be a complete write off and it was best to plan accordingly.
    A Goffer was a wave that came on board and washed across the upper deck in rough weather , it was also a drink (non alcoholic) from the NAFFI

    The Oggin of course is the Sea

    My my who pissed on your fireworks then, or are you the resident git.
  5. UncleAlbert - love the post. We'll learn 'em yet!
  6. I prefer the term cnut. That however has nothing to do with being a navy bummer boy and can be applied to everyone.
  7. I just wanted to say how much I am enjoying this forum and the spirit of goodwill that pervades here

    I have posted this on here and enjoyed the reaction. Occasionally I offer an opinion or two which people don't always agree with. I am very sorry if other posters don't concur with my musings and I regret if my jottings have disturbed other posters to the extent that they feel the need to respond. When this happens I feel really bad and of course I immediately accept that they are right and that my initial post was erroneous and reflected badly on me.

    Absolutely everyone on here knows more about everything than I do, so I am humbled when people who have such extensive knowledge take the trouble to assist me with my difficulties.

    I would like to meet everyone who posts on here and give them a hug. In fact I think we should all give each other a group hug - without any innuendo or inference of sexual impropriety.

    We could then perhaps all enjoy a cup of tea together (except Biscuits who would have a goffa).

    I'm sure with a little bit more tolerance shown to our fellow forumites we could all learn to share the Army and Navy community here with each other and enjoy the diversity that exists.

    Thank you for taking the time to read my post and. I hope you didn't interrupt anything important to do so.

    So come on lets all smile together, no more grumpiness

    All together now "I'm h-a-p-p-y, I'm h-a-p-p-y,
    I know I am,
    I'msure I am
    Happy Happy Happy

    Lovely now don't we all feel better for that

    Have a lovely evening

    Albert Hall


    PS Of course the above doesn't include Door_Bundle_M2, who is a c*nt and can fcuk off
  8. Uncle Albert,

    please just look at the name of this site!!!! :?

    Why do we need "jack speak?"

    do one
  9. Thanks Uncle Albert. I remember living in HMS Tamar (a 28 storey building on HongKong harbour) and getting used to the fact that instead of going "down town" for a bevvy it was known as a run ashore !!!
  10. No, definately useful - would have been all at sea :eek:ops without it.

    My couple:

    Golden Rivet - Mythical final rivet in ship construction. Often located in a dark corner at floor level and the unwary are encouraged to bend over to examine more closely, displaying posterior to 'Jolly Jack Tar'. Before anyone comments, I was not caught out by this.

    'Backs to the walls' - Standard Army response on entering a naval establishment.
  11. RTFQ


    Navy dictionary:

    Jack - Gay
    Oggin - Gay
    Wets - Gay
    Galley - Gay
    Bos'un - Gay
    Foc'sle - Gay
    Poop Deck - Very very gay
    Guz - Gay
    Uckers - Gay
    Rear admiral - Oh please... :roll:
    Run Ashore - Gay
    sheets and bends - Gay
    Starboard - Gay
    Golden Rivet - Only Gay if you close your eyes and push back
    Wrens - Gay

    Royal Navy - one big gay party wrapped up in bunting and wearing tropical dress shorts.
  12. Don't tell the AAC. All they do is play s0dding Uckers.
  13. Good one, Albert. A slightly homo armed service, but what isn't these days? Good update on Crumpet or whatever it was called.
    Fck, I'm confused now. Is lavender the new crabfat?
  14. Why GingeG how nice of you to point me in the right direction. Wouldn`t it be simply terrific if this was to turn into one of those threads where civilized repost abounds
    I think perhaps it`s gotta be a good idea to learn at least a little Jack Speak.

    Imagine a full landing craft and someone nearby shouts “OUT OARS” then unless they knew the terminology the coxwain could end up with no soldierboys to land on the beach yes?
    By the way great writing ….not to short…..not to long….snappy and to the point.

    Yes Rab Tamar was indeed recognized as a jewel of the orient and only a short dash over the road is the Wanchei. That cosmopolitan area of Hong Kong where so many servicemen have left a little part of themselves.

    Of course you would never see me frequenting such a district, Oh no, us sailerboys much preferred a bit of sightseeing and were always eager to get back to the ship an out to sea. Chasin pirates and sutchlike.

    Wanchei was full of Moma sans and bargirls. Bars, bars, bars and a pawn shop. As the Yanks had midnight leave (Cinderella boys) Jack would move in on the girls after they left, great place always somat going on and even the bars with no floorshow usually has the girls scrapping. And I don`t mean sort of mamby panby waving arms about and doing a lot of squawking, I mean kickin and bitin with only one left standing. Yea those bar girls had great stamina.

    Err,.so I`m told.

  15. Such a shame that it's almost respectable now.... :roll: