1. The minister has done nothing wrong. That is why he is resigning. To spare the government further embarrasment because of his lack of wrongdoing. 2. The minister will not hide behind his officials. Even thought it was their fault. Yes, their fault, the ones that took the letter he innocently handed them (that coincidentally dealt with that contentious case) and did not ignore it or stick it in the back of a filing cabinet. 3. The minister will admit the errors he has made. That means the errors he made that he has been fingered for. He has done nothing else wrong; indeed he has done nothing wrong, that is why he is resigning. 4. The minster will thank his colleagues and the Prime Minister for their unconditional support. Even though they have been either eyeing up his job or waiting until the slightest speck of dirt sticks before ditching him. 5. The minister will not talk about his private life. Even though he has just spouted on about it for the last five minutes. 6. The minister will not use his children (legitimate or subject to a court case) for political advantage. Except to make the mother feel guilty. Yes, that bitch the mother! 7. Interviewers will ask the minister soft-soaped easy questions at the press conference, because the minister feels bad about resigning, even though he has done nothing wrong. 8. The continuation of any inquiry into the allegations against the minister will not be necessary. This is because the minister has done nothing wrong - that is why he has resigned. 9. The ex-minister will take his place at the back of the backbenches and sit quietly, as an embarrasment to the party for getting caught; that is, for doing nothing wrong.