The rudest thing I can think of to do to a bird...

#1
Paint her arrse green...and slap it!

Pull her p1ss flaps together and then wobble them whilst crooning in an al Jolson styley...Mammy!
 
#5
clownbasher said:
Vodka on the cornflakes this morning?
No fiddling around with French Army BMS, so I am now wet and bored!
 
#6
Cuddles said:
clownbasher said:
Vodka on the cornflakes this morning?
No fiddling around with French Army BMS, so I am now wet and bored!
And just a wee bit jealous!
 
#7
spaff on her face while she's asleep. works best if it's a girl you don't know, and she's asleep on the train.

incidentlly, is there a name for this practice? something catchier than "unknown-sleeping-girl-train-face-spaff"?
 

Auld-Yin

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#11
Taff49 said:
spaff on her face while she's asleep. works best if it's a girl you don't know, and she's asleep on the train.

incidentlly, is there a name for this practice? something catchier than "unknown-sleeping-girl-train-face-spaff"?
'Sex-Offenders'-Register'
 
#13
Not phone when you've said you would, we get pretty offended by that.
 
#15
amazing__lobster said:
Mr_Deputy said:
stay three years with her and then decide not to marry
:? Is that what she is expecting to happen after that long?!
They're loyal, not bright... :p
 
#16
Cuddles said:
Paint her arrse green...and slap it!

Pull her p1ss flaps together and then wobble them whilst crooning in an al Jolson styley...Mammy!
How the fuck can you be this bored in Paris?
 
#18
Grey_Mafia65 said:
Not phone when you've said you would, we get pretty offended by that.
Come on, you know that's just a thing we say instead of "Thanks for the sh4g nurse, I will be forgetting you almost as quickly as the faint odour of your flange will vanish from under my foreskin...thanks for breakfast too." Years of evolution have taught us that this provokes an inordinate amount of fuss so, hey "I'll phone you..."
 
#19
The_Snail said:
Cuddles said:
Paint her arrse green...and slap it!

Pull her p1ss flaps together and then wobble them whilst crooning in an al Jolson styley...Mammy!
How the fuck can you be this bored in Paris?
Because I am sat in a Z.I. to the west of the city, waiting to have a desultory conversation with a French bloke who will claim that he is delighted to do something and then spend weeks not doing it. It's like Milton Keynes in French!
 
#20
Cuddles said:
Grey_Mafia65 said:
Not phone when you've said you would, we get pretty offended by that.
Come on, you know that's just a thing we say instead of "Thanks for the sh4g nurse, I will be forgetting you almost as quickly as the faint odour of your flange will vanish from under my foreskin...thanks for breakfast too." Years of evolution have taught us that this provokes an inordinate amount of fuss so, hey "I'll phone you..."
You should know by now that whatever you men do will be wrong! :D
 

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