The reservoir swimming club 2017

Stavanger

Old-Salt
Wonder how long it'll be before this hot spell brings out the brave fuckwits who can't read warning signs but can climb fences?
My money's on Lancashire for the initial outbreak of this particular seasonal excuse for tea lights, teddies and forecourt flowers:eek:
 

Joshua Slocum

LE
Book Reviewer
Wonder how long it'll be before this hot spell brings out the brave fuckwits who can't read warning signs but can climb fences?
My money's on Lancashire for the initial outbreak of this particular seasonal excuse for tea lights, teddies and forecourt flowers:eek:
oh I dont know, the Malverns has its fair share of muppets
 
Cornwall has its share of icy cold quarries
Every time I read the papers and the RNLI/coppers/ local boatmen/AirSea rescue hauling fuckwits out of dodgy situations, I wonder whether the rescuees shouldn't just be put down.
Snail's brother, for example, gives of his time and energy to fund and staff an organisation which, in the main (SWIDT?) spends far far too much time dealing with holiday idiots.
I'll always give money and kind to veterans, sea rescue, mountain rescue and surf lifesaving etc.
Next time you want a contribution to your Refuge for Stoats, Goose Rehab, or LGBTI 'safe space', you can **** off.
 
Cornwall has its share of icy cold quarries
But, unlike reservoirs, none of them are fitted with Satan's plug hole into which the pi$$ed/unwary may fall, never to be seen again.

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But, unlike reservoirs, none of them are fitted with Satan's plug hole into which the pi$$ed/unwary may fall, never to be seen again.

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Ladybower?

You would pop out the bottom a few seconds later, possibly in one piece. There are fisheries further downstream, the trout would sort out what remains and get fat.
 
Ladybower?

You would pop out the bottom a few seconds later, possibly in one piece. There are fisheries further downstream, the trout would sort out what remains and get fat.

Ah yes, a brief google shows the "urban explorers" have done it, albeit in the dry season, the firkin lightweights:

 
But, unlike reservoirs, none of them are fitted with Satan's plug hole into which the pi$$ed/unwary may fall, never to be seen again.

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I thought for a fleeting moment there that was the aftermath of Diane Abbot skinny-dipping.
 
Yep, I'll have the usual Terry Fuckwits here on the canal. Once again, I will explain to some flathead that he can't be seen from the steering position of most narrowboats if he's just a head in the water.

I will patiently explain that from there, it's a trip under the baseplate/down the hull held in place by the boat displacing the water, followed by his legs being pulled into the screw.

I will then get told to eff off.

Should he meet his maker this way (even if someone manages to stem the bleeding from the stumps of his now amputated legs, sepsis from the crap in the canal is inevitable), his parents will then mount a campaign to "raise awareness of the dangers of the canals". This is despite the fact that there are signs, warnings and bylaws telling everyone sensible just that.

Oh, and the parents will probably try and sue me. At least I'll have the pleasure of emptying my portaloo over the 'shrine' to the pointless existence of young Terry.
 
Ok, some serious CREEPY here, but who else remembers this from the 70s?
Like 'clunk-click' it made sense.


'ask at your local swimming pool'.
Never saw that public service announcement in TV back in the 1970s, but the bloke does have a certain amount of creepiness about him. :eek:
 
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