The really rude Parrot

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by Monty417, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. A young vicar was left a parrot by an old sailor upon his death.
    The bird turned out to be a foul mouthed, bad tempered and very profane creature and the vicar often suspected that the old sailor had played a naughty joke on him.

    The vicar tried his best to clean up the birds vocabulary and change it's attitude by, whenever around it, choosing his words carefully and speaking quietly and correctly. All to no avail. The parrot listened intently, head cocked on one side, then when the vicar finished talking, squawked mockingly and launched into a torrent of abuse,
    shouting things like. "Up yer chuffbox sailor and when he was wearing his cassock, give us a gobble girlie" etc etc etc.

    After a tirade of filth referring to the Arch Bishop and alter boys,
    the vicar finally cracked and grabbed the parrot by the neck, marched into the kitchen and stuffed him into the chest freezer.

    For a full minute, the air was blue with obscenities that were even more novel than usual, then, it abruptly went completely silent.
    The vicar was instantly remorseful and fearing that he had harmed the parrot, opened the freezer lid.

    The parrot fluttered up onto his outstretched arm and quietly said.
    "I fear that I may have offended and upset you with my uncalled for hostility and abusive language. I am most sincerely remorseful
    for my past transgressions, inappropriate behaviour and rude language. I now repent and fully intend to rectify my aforesaid behaviour and be a credit to you."

    The vicar was dumbfounded at the sudden change in the parrots attitude and was about to ask why the dramatic turn about, when the parrot continued...

    "May I enquire as to what the turkey did to upset you?"