The rank criminality thread.

#1
Following on from MDN's Lollypop thread..

I have been on a course all week, and every morning when I cycled to the workshops I was thwarted by a big "No Cycling" sign on the alleyway leading to the entrance, and every morning I meekly dismounted and pushed my treader up to the door, even laddering my Ron Hills in the process. :cry:

Having psyched myself up all week, I finally made my move this morning. Instead of dismounting, I roared past that sign at six miles an hour with my hair on fire, with all the menacing insouciance of a crank-fuelled Hell's Angel blasting through red lights in 1966 Oakland.

Having done the end of course wash-up and returned my welding goggles, I then blew past the signs for a second time, with the wild music of rebellion in my ears...

Are any other site users operating beyond the bounds of all human restraint and decency, or am I the only wild-eyed outlaw on here?
 
#2
Ever driven around London, and seen those åsshole cyclists racing around, on/off pavements, up one-way streets, through red lights and cutting cars up? That's me.
 
#3
You feckless freebooter Forks, you are just out of control.
 
#4
I drive ABOVE 70mph on the motorway.

AND, I never bother to listen to the safety announcements on planes as I know that if an civilian aircraft hits the ground at 200mph or above, I'm not going to walk away...

Ohhh, I'm a rebel...
 
#5
I forgot to tax the car last month, and although I now know, I'm waiting for the 1st August to avoid wasting a month.

Hangs head in shame.
 
#7
I use my council recycling box to hold off cuts of conduit and bits of flex.
It is only a matter of time before they hunt me down and shoot me like a mad dog.
 
#8
Awol said:
I forgot to tax the car last month, and although I now know, I'm waiting for the 1st August to avoid wasting a month.

Hangs head in shame.
Jeez, 'wol, there are blokes with big scary beards and weird hats walking around the mountains of Afghanistan with wooshy-bangy things on their backs who, compared to you, are Mr Pipe and Slippers and 2.4 kids. (Possibly because Apache shot away the other 0.6..)
 
#9
I've just held up a Post Office with a claw hammer. The naughty thing was, I parked in the spakka spot outside. I just don't care!
 
#10
bernoulli said:
Awol said:
I forgot to tax the car last month, and although I now know, I'm waiting for the 1st August to avoid wasting a month.

Hangs head in shame.
Jeez, 'wol, there are blokes with big scary beards and weird hats walking around the mountans of Afghanistan with wooshy-bangy things on their backs who, compared to you, are Mr Pipe and Slippers and 2.4 kids. (Possibly because an Apache shot away the other 0.6..)
I can assure you Berni, it's not something I'm proud of.

What really brought it home was that awful deafening silence after the wife slammed the door when she left last week with the kids and Scooby.

So her parents were right, after all.
 
#11
Awol said:
I forgot to tax the car last month, and although I now know, I'm waiting for the 1st August to avoid wasting a month.

Hangs head in shame.
Mate I hate to be the miserable cnut :oops: but you know you'll probably get fine dont you?
 
#12
You fiend. I bet you colour-copied one of those orange spac-chits as well. It seems even army QHIs are being subsumed in the wave of lawlessness sweeping this country.
 
#13
bernoulli said:
You fiend. I bet you colour-copied one of those orange spac-chits as well. It seems even army QHIs are being subsumed in the wave of lawlessness sweeping this country.
I drive a blue three wheeler so as not to raise suspicion. Kind of reduces the rebel side though.

 
#14
sprjim said:
Awol said:
I forgot to tax the car last month, and although I now know, I'm waiting for the 1st August to avoid wasting a month.

Hangs head in shame.
Mate I hate to be the miserable cnut :oops: but you know you'll probably get fine dont you?
They'll never take me alive. I'm on a roll now.
 
#15
When I pulled the filter out of my washing machine, I found two small split washers that are almost certainly crown property.
Needless to say, I have wired up a little something in the hedge by my front door for when the SIB come to take me down.
 
#19
Supergal said:
i once told a guy i was i virgin when i actually i wasn't

in order words

:sleepy: :sleepy: :sleepy:
The knee length curtains didn't clue him in then? Anyway, this thread is for camp rule busting desperados who roam the high plains and dwell beyond the circle of the campfire, not ladies and their shabby tricks to lure men to the grubby matresses on their bedsit floors...
 
#20
I rode my bike, without a numberplate on the M25 on Monday at an indicated speed of 135 MPH.

I also stole a present from the Secret Santa box at the 16 Sigs Xmas party in 99
 

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