The quickest way to get promoted is...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by stev1978, Jun 12, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Hi,

    Thought I would start this off. I know a lot of people will say things like walk suck the right **** ha

    However, in order to get through the ranks...this is what you could do differently...

    Join up as an RMP (why I hear you ask?) 3 year guaranteed full screw... retrade to PTI core. 1 more year sergeant... then i get stuck... i cant think of a quick promotion trip from here up the ranks any further?

    Can you...?

    This is a hypothetical joke, not to be taken seriously!
  2. Jesus fucking Christ.
    • Like Like x 6
  3. Yep, that fucker was promoted at birth....fucking sprog.....

    He never passed his Commando course though so he was never better than god :)
  4. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    The belllendery that you demonstrate is some of the finest I've seen all day.

    Well done you.

    • Like Like x 7
  5. Dont forget gaining the respect and admiration of all around you as you climb the ladder
  6. Being a complete cunt seems to work.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Buy a derelict oil platform. Unilaterally declare independence from everyone. Appoint yourself to any rank you see fit. I'd recommend Colonel as that seems to be a good, respectable rank for any tin-pot dictator without the idiot bling of appointing yourself Grand High Field Admiral of the Skies or something as equally silly like that.

    If you're married, appoint your wife as Ack Adj and point out that her job description, as seen in every military unit in the known world, involves giving her superiors as much oral sex as is demanded.
  8. Wind Up.

    • Like Like x 1
  9. I'm fairly sure most trades require you to be a Class 1 before you can promote, therefore if you keep re-trading you will have to wait to get to the requisite level. The easier option would to wait till full screw then go down some random recruiting/training role and stay there. I've met a few of those and they always add lots of value once they return to trade (last bit might not be true)
  10. Im going to play devils advocate here and say the OP is looking back at his 22 years at Lance Jack with jaded eyes and wondering retrospectivaly if he could have maybe done a shade better.

    No point asking me though, now if you want advice on how NOT to get promoted, well.......
  11. I got my Full Screw quicker than three years and I was never a Monkey.

    Besides, everyone knows that being crap at your job but on the Regimental football/rugby/tug of war/tiddly winks team is how you get promoted.

    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
    • Like Like x 2
  12. You could always offer yourself as 'entertainment' in the WOs & Sgts Mess dressed as a ladyboy and do a pole dance routine in front of the Tara's table on a dinning in night, as he is entertaining visiting Taras from nearby Regiments.......
  13. Your lack of morale will probably ensure everyone leaves around you anyway.
  14. Excel at everything you are asked/ordered to do.You will rocket up the ranks to reach the dizzying height of Lance Jack in just under 6 wot I did.It's not that easy mind.
  15. Yes my son?
    • Like Like x 1