The Queen's Jubilee Badge Amnesty

STOP PRESS>>>>
News just in that the Paras are going to be deployed to oversee the collection of illicit arm(s) badges that have proliferated in the days since the SDR.  

It would appear that some AG Nazi is suggesting that the Army is no longer "uniform" due to the number of flashes, symbols and 50m swimming badges that now adorn the clothing of the average squaddie.  Fears abound that in her frailty, Brenda will not be able to tell whether all the soldiers marching about so tidily are all hers if they are not all wearing Paddington Bear suits (long red coats and silly black furry things).  This could lead to the dissolution of the monachy and the collapse of civilised society as we know it.

The Paras have been chosen in this highly technical rapid responce role as they are the world experts in nugatory badges, recently adding the "Gay Budgie" to their magnificent collection.  The plan is for all badges to be collected in special "unstitching stations" from where they can be recorded and then put beyond further use (i.e. sold to Army Surplus).

This cannot be allowed to happen, especially in the week before I was due to get my "Home-help" badge.  I would go and voice my concerns in person, only my embroidered CS95 is now so heavy I can barely move from my pit

 

What's that film with the line "Badges? We don't need no stinkin' filthy badges!"

Ah yes, well it's all those really dubious Bde flashes - such as 186 Sigs & Tpt Bde (TA) which has some growling tiger and a chap pig-sticking on it!  (Well, it might if it exisited!)...but you get the gist!

BAH!

 

Sound good to me.. this 8 foot spear and shield the size of God is starting to stretch my left sleeve.  

I wonder when we'll be getting the ones with a ninja on them..  :-/

 

Well I'm keeping my nice dolly mixture DZ flash - after all I've earned it - I've never jumped into battle either.

Are there any badges I can put on my trousers?  a much under utilised area of badge potential I feel.

 

Now then Gentlemen, I fear that all of you with badge fixations should strip a page out of Monty's book and start wearing multiple capbadges and unfeasably over sized berets! Or you could all start to wear your nametapes on every part of your clothing so that you never put on the wrong trousers following the fun and rumpus of the private mess rugby game!!

Bwaaah Grumble hrmmm....

 

Do I detect someone taking the piss out of the very professional, albeit giggly and tired, Dutch Soldier?  They have GOT to take the top prize for large cap badges and weird looking berets..

 

I would like to nominate just one badge for the amnesty which should be seriously considered by all for removal from issue and adornment. I do of course refer to the coloquial German speakers 'dart board'. It makes the wearer look as though he has once (in his sordid past) been a contestant on bullseye. Further more, such wearers should be de-badged in public and their names put on a badge-offenders list for at least five years so that any self-respecting serviceman can know if a 'Bully' is living in his block.

Enough said!

 

Given that CS95 Trousers are prone to premature wear, I humbly suggest moving all current Bde Flashes, Regimental Badges etc to the 'seat of the pants' position.  
This would also show the true method of planning & preparation employed by the majority of the Units in the UK Forces. :-/

 

R_T_G it was Blazing saddles.