The Qualities of an Officer of the British Army

Discussion in 'Officers' started by CaptainPlume, Jun 29, 2010.

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  1. I thought all the eager young puppies might benefit from the following ;)

    An officer should be comely, spratly and above all else, confident in his own dress and bearing. He should, where possible, eat a small piece of meat each morning with molasses and beans. He should air himself gracefully when under fire and never place himself in a position of difficulty when being shot at. He should eat his meals comfortably and ahead of his soldiers, for it is he whom is more important tactically on the battlefield and therefore he who should be well nourished. His hair should be well groomed and if possible he should adorn a moustache or similar facial adornment.

    When speaking to his soldiers he should appear unnerved and aloof and give direction without in any way involving himself personally in the execution of arduous or un-officer like duties. He should smoke thin panatellas except when in the company of ladies where he should take only a small gin mixed with lemon tea.

    He should be an ardent and erudite gentleman and woo the ladies both in the formal environment and in the bedroom where he should excel himself beyond the ordinary soldier with his virulent love making prowess.

    These I say to you are the qualities of an officer that set him apart from the lay person and the common soldier.

    Lieutenant-General Hubert Worthington

    Commander In Chief
    5th Royal Indian Mountain Division

    12th December 1907
  2. msr

    msr LE

  3. Nothing much has changed in 103 years, has it? Apart from the smoking, no-one smokes those nowadays.
  4. As a smoker, upon hearing this for the first time, I wondered how on earth one smokes gin mixed with lemon tea. Are bongs still acceptable? They obviously were.
  5. Erse. Found this when going through old emails dating back to when msr was a cart track.

    That will teach me to try & bring some humour into people's otherwise humdrum lives. Sadly I don't have time to read every single thread on ARRSE ;)
  6. msr

    msr LE

    Nor to use the search function ;)
  7. You see, a proper officer would have had a batman to do the menial search stuff for him ...
  8. I always wonder if msr now looks like this ;)

  9. I know, Hopkins, I was at school with him when he had hair!
  10. Oops! Someone's been frequenting the wrong Bombay whorehouses, clearly.