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The problems associated with wiping and possible solutions

#1
Now before you rant this has been done before i know!
But i wish to discuss another matter!
I have differing types of dump, differant concistancies, shapes and sizes depending on scoff and liquids consumed,
Now the problem is sometime when the wiping action occurs bog roll seperates and gets entangled in the old crack fluff, this becomes a problem as when i try to free it i end up with tears in my eyes and a sore crack,
not knowing much about plucking but does it not make the hair grow back longer?? thus resulting in a vicious circle of hair,bogroll and pain!
On discussing with mrs troop she recommends an arrse wax, wasnt to sure at first but would certainly make the whole experience of taking a dump more pleasant than it is now!

My arrse says its just wrong!
But the mind says a new lease of life is tempting!
assistance required in this sensitive matter please!

As its a pain in the arrse! BADUMBUM!
Sorry



Troop
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
I find that if I drink enough then it pours out of me like luke warm tea. A quick dab with wifey's flannel and hey presto a nice clean ring.
 
#5
Bravo2nothing said:
A nice bit of 400 grit wet and dry.
but don't use the bit that you polish your bellend with! Bacterial transfer and all that...there's some NASTY germs on the average squaddie bellend!
 
#6
Why not try the women's hair removal cream VEET?

A boot up the arrse might be familiar but veet round the ringpiece could be a novel experience as could feet so explain carefully to who is applying it.
 
#7
bigbird67 said:
Bravo2nothing said:
A nice bit of 400 grit wet and dry.
but don't use the bit that you polish your bellend with! Bacterial transfer and all that...there's some NASTY germs on the average squaddie bellend!
You know about arrse to mouth then? Give us your number?
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
You could try the cats tongue!
 
#12
shrew said:
or in fact, a cat.

Be a man. Sac, back and crack... post the before and after pictures please.
I'll do it if you get a brazilian - before and after shots.

No tidying up first either, I want to see the afro.
 
#13
My arrse is like a warzone,
just the thing to put you off your dinner, but if i go through with the procedure it will be documented on here!



troop
 
#15
Bravo2nothing said:
I'll do it if you get a brazilian - before and after shots.

No tidying up first either, I want to see the afro.
... what ALL of it.

ooer. erm. <... unsure and strangely coy>

Does it have to be this week as I am on the blob. (String shots are extra - in case you were wondering...)
 
#16
DON'T DO IT SHREW!! It hurts less to let your dad do it with his welding torch!
 
#17
bigbird67 said:
DON'T DO IT SHREW!! It hurts less to let your dad do it with his welding torch!
... yes it will hurt less considering my dear old papa fell off his log 3 years ago.

Nevermind mate, t'was a good gag nonetheless... :winkrazz:
 
#18
wheelchairwarrier said:
As one who is not in a position to wipe myself I regret I cannot offer any practical advice apart from
http://www.washlet.com/jasmin.asp
highly reccomended , apparantly.

WW
I love that one of the colours this product is available in is 'Colonial White.'

Clearly the PC mob has yet to kick in the doors of the bathroom utility industry. :-D
 
#19
shrew said:
Bravo2nothing said:
I'll do it if you get a brazilian - before and after shots.

No tidying up first either, I want to see the afro.
... what ALL of it.

ooer. erm. <... unsure and strangely coy>

Does it have to be this week as I am on the blob. (String shots are extra - in case you were wondering...)
All of it Shrew. I want shot of your hairy monkey (string included) before and a nice landing strip after. You in return can have a picture dedictated to my hairy hoop and massive overgrown sack. Then I'll produce a picture of my nut sack looking like Duncan Goodhew's head.
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#20
I now have images that I could do without.
 

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