The Pretentious Food Thread

The worst example of pretentious people are those who frequent coffee shops and get frothy fecking milk in their coffee. Apart from having to wait behind these faux humans, their habit causes hearing loss to us quiet black americano quaffers, what with their loud hissing titty milk frothers........ pretentious fecking children!!

@Kirkz :cool:
You obviously enjoy a large black Anericano on a regular basis.
 

Oyibo

LE
By contrast, here's a menu from Port Gentil, Gabon.

I suspect they got a rig pig to translate the French menu.

Poofter-Shit-Small.jpg
 

Ritch

LE
Where to start?

Title wise anything which has a 'meaty. name when it's no such thing:

Vegan steak bakes, veggie sausages, Quorn in any guise.

The trend for chips to be cooked not once, not twice but three times. Why? Get it right the first time and use beef dripping for the frying.

Plus the descriptions of food, 'Drizzled with...' 'Jus' 'Nestling...'

Let alone the serving methods I've had meat and gravy served on a flat slate, plates have a rim for a reason.

Nouvelle Cuisine, remember that back in the eighties?

'Less is more' no my friend; less is hungry.
I do the twice cooked chips thing. It really does make for a nicer chip. Whack the deep fat frier on at 170-180°c and fry just until the hand cut chips start changing colour to a light, light brown. Then bring them out and leave to cool for ten minutes. Whack the temperature up to 190-200°c and put back in to cook and Bob is your mother's brother.
 
Back in the day French Toast was wafer thin toasted bread. Nowadays it's the new name for fried bread. Is this an example of "reverse-pretention" to make fatties feel better about their lardy diets?
 
Fifteen in Watergate Bay (obviously before it went down the tubes). Got a deal from the hotel we were in, just as well at the prices. 10 course taster menu, the actual menu was 2 A3 pages with full descriptions of what the ingredients were, where from etc. The server then basically repeated what was in the menu while I'm sitting going 'just bring the freaking food!' It was little scraps of stuff finishing with cheese and crackers, none of which I liked so I asked for some toast (still hungry) but he could only bring the poncy bread they made on the premises, toasted, with butter which had stuff through it. Never went back although still walk to Watergate Bay from Porth, even though it's full of DFL's (Down From Londoners) shouting for nanny because Jemimah needs a wee and Tarquin won't sit still FFS!
 
Back in the day French Toast was wafer thin toasted bread. Nowadays it's the new name for fried bread. Is this an example of "reverse-pretention" to make fatties feel better about their lardy diets?
Hard to find decent fried bread nowadays, its all fried potato i.e. hash brown. Bluergh!
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
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Oyibo

LE
This seems to fit the bill:

 
Hard to find decent fried bread nowadays, its all fried potato i.e. hash brown. Bluergh!
My local Cafe does a lovely fried slice as part of their all day breakfast. Proper heart attack inducing stuff.
 

Kirkz

LE
The worst example of pretentious people are those who frequent coffee shops and get frothy fecking milk in their coffee. Apart from having to wait behind these faux humans, their habit causes hearing loss to us quiet black americano quaffers, what with their loud hissing titty milk frothers........ pretentious fecking children!!

@Kirkz :cool:
A bit like overweight people pretending to like Quorn because they can't lose weight, the fatty McFatfaced cnuts.
 
A bit like overweight people pretending to like Quorn because they can't lose weight, the fatty McFatfaced cnuts.
Or order Diet Coke with their supersize meals!
 

Yokel

LE
Back in the day French Toast was wafer thin toasted bread. Nowadays it's the new name for fried bread. Is this an example of "reverse-pretention" to make fatties feel better about their lardy diets?
Glaswegian Toast surely? It is totally different from French Toast. FFS!

Hard to find decent fried bread nowadays, its all fried potato i.e. hash brown. Bluergh!
Is there any evidence comparing the fat content and calorific value of a fried slice and a hash brown?

A bit like overweight people pretending to like Quorn because they can't lose weight, the fatty McFatfaced cnuts.
Only deep friend Quorn - with a diet Coke.

Or order Diet Coke with their supersize meals!
Diet Coke is piss.
 

Kirkz

LE
Or order Diet Coke with their supersize meals!
I stood behind a woman in a chip shop who ordered Large fish, large chips, peas and gravy and two slices of bread.
She then said don't butter the bread I'm on a diet!
 
I stood behind a woman in a chip shop who ordered Large fish, large chips, peas and gravy and two slices of bread.
She then said don't butter the bread I'm on a diet!
My standpoint is that you can order a huge plate of fish, chips and mushy peas - as long as you share it.

That way, it's half-fat.
 

Kirkz

LE
Back in the day French Toast was wafer thin toasted bread. Nowadays it's the new name for fried bread. Is this an example of "reverse-pretention" to make fatties feel better about their lardy diets?
fFrench toast is fried eggy bread.
 

Kirkz

LE
My standpoint is that you can order a huge plate of fish, chips and mushy peas - as long as you share it.

That way, it's half-fat.
By "share" do you mean let your mate have a chip?
 
I do the twice cooked chips thing. It really does make for a nicer chip. Whack the deep fat frier on at 170-180°c and fry just until the hand cut chips start changing colour to a light, light brown. Then bring them out and leave to cool for ten minutes. Whack the temperature up to 190-200°c and put back in to cook and Bob is your mother's brother.
Of course if you'd not taken them out but left them in, you could have cooked and eaten them by the time you'd fannied around doing it the ghey way.
 

Kirkz

LE
Of course if you'd not taken them out but left them in, you could have cooked and eaten them by the time you'd fannied around doing it the ghey way.
I've never seen any chippy fry their chips more than once.
 

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