The Pretentious Food Thread

This article got me thinking:

There really are some ridiculous examples of rip off, pretentious foods out there, in the main brought about by the Vegan driven, Plant based food scam. Cauliflower Steaks anyone? One of the worst examples of rip off pretentiousness is brought to you by Wagamama, who are currently offering a Vegan ‘Tuna’ steak, which is actually a slice of Watermelon! Rip off twats! :x
Anyone daft enough to fork out £12 for a slice of melon deserves everything coming to them.
Over to you - any other examples you can think of?

Gout Man

Book Reviewer
My wife was on Instagram? And found this, just look at the prices, it’s incredible what people will pay for what is just a cake!



Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
There's a place nearby that was doing vegan burgers from beetroot.
Apparently so like the real thing, they bleed!
It's beetroll in a roll. Twats


Book Reviewer
I like the idea that the new vegan whopper from BK is not suitable for veggies or vegans.
Are poncey bistros still doing that steak on a roof slate, chips in a flowerpot schtick?

They must do their crockery shopping at Wickes.


Where to start?

Title wise anything which has a 'meaty. name when it's no such thing:

Vegan steak bakes, veggie sausages, Quorn in any guise.

The trend for chips to be cooked not once, not twice but three times. Why? Get it right the first time and use beef dripping for the frying.

Plus the descriptions of food, 'Drizzled with...' 'Jus' 'Nestling...'

Let alone the serving methods I've had meat and gravy served on a flat slate, plates have a rim for a reason.

Nouvelle Cuisine, remember that back in the eighties?

'Less is more' no my friend; less is hungry.
I wouldn't call this pretentious, but in today's climate I'm amazed some dripping quim hasn't pushed to have it banned & the building torn down.



I did like the Linda McCartney veggie food that wasn't suitable for veggies. I feel a joke coming on:

Paul 'Good news and bad news kids'

'Bad news is Linda's died.
Good news is we're having a barbecue tonight.'


Nouvelle Cuisine, remember that back in the eighties?
I remember a Spitting Image magazine I got in amongst some Xmas stocking fillers back in 1984 and seeing something about Nouvelle Cuisine.

Did a google search and was amazed to see it's actually been uploaded by someone:

spitting image book 1.jpg
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The green bits.

Utter waste of good greens being destroyed by the walking fat-berg digestive systems of repulsive goppers.


Book Reviewer
I was offered a " serviette " in Gregg's once.

Aww upwardly mobile shop droid right there.

Did you ask for a napkin?
Creme Anglaise.


And relax.
The worst example of pretentious people are those who frequent coffee shops and get frothy fecking milk in their coffee. Apart from having to wait behind these faux humans, their habit causes hearing loss to us quiet black americano quaffers, what with their loud hissing titty milk frothers........ pretentious fecking children!!

@Kirkz :cool:

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