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The police farce.

Oh how true that statement is. I never had any trouble from the public or griefy complaints, it was always internal with toxic management. When they were good, they were very good, but when they were bad, they were horrid (to quote someone, I can't remember who, it might be Enid Blyton).
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good,
She was very good indeed,
But when she was bad she was horrid.

Although the version I liked ended:

When she was good she was very very good
But when she was bad she was magic.
 
I am of an age when no real Londoner would ever have considered the Met as a job.
Round our way all the plods were Taffs, Geordies and other ethnic minorities from all over the UK except London.
How times change, (and the country too.)

Note the last verse.

The Mountains o Mourne

Oh, Mary, this London's a wonderful sight
With people here working by day and by night
They don't sow potatoes nor barley nor wheat
But there's gangs of them diggin' for gold in the street
At least when I asked them, that's what I was told
So I just took a hand at this diggin' for gold
But for all that I've found there, I might as well be
In the place where the dark Mourne sweeps down to the sea

I believe that when writin' a wish you expressed
As to how the fine ladies of London were dressed
But if you'll believe me, when asked to a ball
They don't wear no tops to their dresses at all
Oh, I've seen them myself and you could not in truth
Tell if they were bound for a ball or a bath
Don't be startin' them fashions now, Mary McRee,
In the place where the dark Mourne sweeps down to the sea

There's beautiful girls here, oh, never you mind
Beautiful shapes Nature never designed
Lovely complexions of roses and cream
But let me remark with regard to the same
That if at those roses you venture to sit
The colors might all come away on your lip
So I'll wait for the wild rose that's waitin' for me
In the place where the dark Mourne sweeps down to the sea

You remember young Diddy McClaren, of course
But he's over here with the rest of the force
I saw him one day as he stood on the strand
Stopped all the traffic with a wave of his hand
As we were talking of days that are gone
The whole town of London stood there to look on
But for all his great powers, he's wishful like me
To be back where the dark Mourne sweeps down to the sea
 
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good,
She was very good indeed,
But when she was bad she was horrid.

Although the version I liked ended:

When she was good she was very very good
But when she was bad she was magic.
Oh the magic of Arrse. I knew someone would know.
 
Knew the nursery rhyme, but had no idea that it was composed by a poet of the stature of Longfellow. That was a surprise.
'Oi Hank, I forgot the daughter's birthday. Can you bang us out a poem by lunchtime please? Five bucks cash do you?'

Even poets have to pay bills.

This may be messing about with historical facts, a bit.
 
Everything seemed to slow down...
Copper shot 3 times in face!!!
Oh wait it was a BB Gun

“The officer was left with multiple steel ball bearings lodged in his face, including one only millimetres from a thin piece of bone separating his nose from his brain”.
 
Everything seemed to slow down...
Copper shot 3 times in face!!!
Oh wait it was a BB Gun

Our local training place has a electric BB gun that was sized (M249 if memory serves). It had been extensively modified with new springs, motors and the like. One of the rumoured uses during training is to show it off sawing holes in wood (although I've not seen this done).
 
It's probably worth noting that many of the long in service old-school officers who are still in the Job seem to have joined straight from being a Police Cadet. The last ones I know who either just got in before or after PACE and are therefore mostly retiring or about to do so weren't exactly the most world-experienced when they started either.
It's also probably worth noting that many of the long service, old-school officers (with less than 24 years) who are still in the job are products of the Blair years - and all that entailed. Not that 'old-school' really.
 

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