The Phantom Shi tter

Discussion in 'Sappers' started by biffins-bridge, Dec 5, 2009.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I was reading the strange Sappers thread recently and it got me thinking...

    Does the phantom shi tter still stalk the dark corridors of singlies blocks?

    When I was in Traz in the mid to late 80's he used to make a regular appearance leaving his calling card in showers, corridors and baths. One particularly grim visitation involved him leaving his trademark in a lad’s prized leather writing case that had belonged to some now long dead relative. He was most upset to find a steaming log sandwiched in his valuable heirloom.

    So prevalent was the problem that the SSM had to issue an order that the proper place for cable laying was in the bogs and not within some unsuspecting blokes left mess tin of his active edge kit.

    Perhaps the phantoms crowning moment came not long after the badge’s warning when a clear plastic bag of fresh shiite appeared pinned up to the notice board along with part 1 orders. What made it all the more impressive was that the notice board was in a glass case the key to which was in the badge’s desk drawer!!
  2. In prehistoric times when soldiers were still billeted in Stirling Castle,the Phantom Shi tter's work was always to be found in one of the bathrooms (actually in the bath & 12-15 " in unbroken length) every Monday morning :!:
  3. When the WO's & Sjts mess was being constructed in Palace, the crane operator discovered a log occupying his chair.
  4. Phantoms can do their work anywhere, no lock a barrier, no hiding place a secret.
  5. perhaps the time for a younger generation of phantom shitters is nigh....................
  6. One legend that went around 28 Sig Regt (BAOR), St Tonis in Germany that one morning the Co Lt Col Pxxxxxx found a steaming log on the middle of his desk..... and the Co's Office was in a secure area.... so even us scalies had/have Phantom Shitters who abounded in days long gone.... :?

    Used to have one dirty B'stard who used to crap in the baths after every scheme....... honest it wasnae me..... :lol:
  7. 45 used to have a phantom crapper in the early to mid 70's as per norm every time one appeared in a bath the singlies got the blame, till the crapper was finally court it was one of the wives
  8. Did she do it in front of an audience?
  9. Not quite a Phantom Log Layer, but bloody funny!

    Read "Map of Africa" by Eddy Nugent for a Log story involving a couple of Signals lads, a block of WRACs and a Top Loading Washing Machine 8O

    I had to double check through Picking Up the Brass and Map of Africa that Convoy_Cock or Rigger hadn't been Sappers at the beginning of their military careers :p

  10. To be fair, her back doors had been battered that loose she couldn't hold on to it :twisted:
  11. If I remember rightly she used to lay one on the pool table as well or was that got "she Layed on the pool table," ?

    Its so long ago and Double shots of Pernod at lunch times (before it got banned) made life a bit hazy.
  12. he made many a visit to site guards way back in the 80's . He made a few badges hit the roof with his calling cards in the middle of a secure site surround both by the brits and the yanks... us all being grown up about it found it ever so funny
  13. Yes I remember that. pernod & coke banned by order !
  14. Brilliant post, had me in stitches.

    I don't think there was a barrack block anywhere without a phantom shitter.

    They mainly revealed themselves in the showers at Hohne in the early 70's.

    Who were they, these scarlet pimpernels ?
  15. I currently work for a local University.

    Our domestic staff reported a 'richard' in the middle of one of the building corridors. I laughed when they told me but they were not amused!

    The long and short of it was that a local had gone in through a window - done the deed - then went back out! The police took DNA and found he was on their records - arrested him in the canteen at work infront of ALL his work colleagues and his girlfriend!

    I was amazed that there was a civvy phantom - called the old bill and asked if he was an ex squaddie - no was the reply!