The Perils of Bum Love

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Dashing_Chap, Oct 20, 2011.

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  1. Dear arrse.

    Some girl just shat on my knob.

    Thought I'd get that out there... A few years ago I asked the infamous question about how a chap does a girl up the wrong'un. Now I'm more acquainted with the fine art of buggery getting it up there isn't the problem, but taking it out is.

    She managed to wander off to the loo without noticing that I was sat on her bed with a brown willy. I wiped most of it onto my boxers which was a mistake as I then had to wear them... But before she came back I managed to dash downstairs and wash my cock in the kitchen sink. It was difficult getting the poo off the rim of my helmet and some of it was splattered on my leg too. There were still dried crusty bits there later when we were watching Independence Day. If she had noticed it would have been very awkward, what are the smooth moves one must take if things go wrong? Has anyone else had this happen? Believe it or not this isn't actually a wah.

    I can't seem to get rid of the smell either.

    Help!

    DC
     
  2. You washed it in the kitchen sink? What would your mother say?
     
  3. The smooth move you must make is to persuade her to gobble it down as if she hasn't eaten in a week.

    That way she cleans up her own mess. Dirty bitch.

    Sent from my HTC Vision using Tapatalk
     

  4. It was her place, her family were on holiday. I should have wiped it on her curtains really.
     
  5. On holiday? In Portugal by chance?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Hand her a tissue and get to the toilet first. Simple.
     
  7. Do you know Maddie as well then?

    I thought about using a tissue myself but the daft bint didn't have any in her room. I think the trick is to always wear a rubber, that way you can peel it off and turn it inside out and trap all the nasty. Then I could leave it behind her radiator or something.
     
  8. You could have just gone out front and wiped your knob on the grass.
     
  9. That's a good point why the fuck didn't he wear a franger? Getting shit down your japs eye. Eeeww.
     
  10. I hope you get gangrene ...you dirty homo walt
     
    • Like Like x 1
  11. Ever heard of the concept of a "bath", "shower" or "anti bacterial liquid soap"?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Yep. I've just had another one, but my problem is the moment directly after. It's a bit embarrassing when you're sitting with a girl who's just laid a log on your knob. Unless of course you're a scat fanatic, in that case crack on.
     
  13. I'm a bit worried I may have caught something actually, what happens if poo goes down your jappy? That'll take some explaining to do at the clinic.
     
  14. Look cunt just die and slowly.
     
  15. You are really a virgin, aren't you?
     
    • Like Like x 1