The Perfect Welcome Home

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by Scraps, Dec 23, 2004.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. The Girls' Plan

    0 vote(s)
  2. My Plan

    0 vote(s)
  1. Scene: Boyf is a man in green & currently playing in the big sandpit. We were together 5 months before he went out & he's due back sometime in next 4-6 weeks. We're going to have our own little Christmas on his return - best mate's brother's picking them up then depositing boyf at my door.

    Question: What will be the perfect homecoming?

    I've discussed with girl pals but they don't seem to understand the soldier psyche, so if I run their scenario by you & then one that I think he'd be most likely up for (so to speak) then you can give me an idea which one to go for...

    Friends' plan:
    Welcome him home with a kiss
    Send him to bathroom for S, S & S (their terminology was slightly more delicate)
    Feed him full Christmas dinner, catching up on 6 months worth of gossip
    Give him presents (many carefully selected boys toys)
    Have an evening of slow, sensuous lovemaking.

    My Plan:
    Welcome him home with a kiss
    Tell him to dump his kit & follow me into dining room
    Ginsters pie & pint of Stella on table for his consumption
    Bend over table, let him take me from behind whilst he munches the pie, drinks the pint & catches up on Sky Sports...

    I appreciate that whilst I've had the company of an eager & capable RR & other things that go buzz in the night, he's only had his hand as a playmate...

    The other question is, if I go with my option, do I become the girl we all get warned about: the one he wants to shag rather than the girl he wants to marry?

    As a previously anonymous visitor to the NAAFI I know that you're a thoughtful bunch of chaps able to offer sensitive and considerate advice. I'd especially appreciate input from LJH, MDN & Shortfuse.

    Thanks for your attention!
    Scrapsie x
  2. Why am I thinking 'Troll'?
  3. Dont worry, if your truely prepared to behave like that, he'll marry you anyway. Does he get to put the ginsters and remote control on your arrse during the shag? Thats fcuking heaven that is.

  4. Your plan apart from the bit about dumping his kit and give him something better than a ginsters

    He can't have both?
  5. CP, sweetie, think what you like. True scenario - I fancy him like fcuk & gagging for him as it's been a long time to go without. :twisted:

    BM, I have no objection but they might fall off with the action. :roll:

    SB - yes, of course HE can have both, but what if this somewhat wanton behaviour makes him suddenly think he'd not be able to introduce me to his mother? Not that I'm faffed about meeting his mother, after Cait's scary MIL scenario 8O , but still, a girl needs advice if it's possible to go too far, even with a squaddie... :?:
  6. Go too far with a squaddie - no love you couldnt if you tried so fill yer boots
  7. Chickenpunk wrote

    A bold and overly chummy 'first post' from 'Scraps'.

    CP, you are thinking 'Troll' for the same reasons I am.
  8. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Regardless of whether you are a troll or not Scraps, am I right in assuming that you will be offering snooker action ?
  9. wtf is "snooker action" cuts?????????? :?
  10. Sorry Cutaway, not entirely up on all terminology :oops: but if 'snooker action' means potting the brown, then no, he just gets the tight pink pocket... I've never been temped by botty-love 8O :roll:

    & really, no trolling going on here - been viewing site for months but just not had anything to say :roll:
  11. He's offering snooker action all right, but he'll be expecting a reach-around! :roll:
  12. is it allowing her fella to 'pot the brown' aswell as the pink???
  13. Mr_Fingerz

    Mr_Fingerz LE Book Reviewer

    choosing between an easy pink, and a difficult brown...
  14. Post yer pic in the gallery and im sure they'll be gagging to give you some input :D

    I was aroused :D

  15. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer